I have just verified that my wife has been having an affair on and off emotional and physical for 12 years the problem is we have been married for 11. We have 2 wonderful children and I do not want them to grow up in a broken home. (This is what she has told me) She started her relationship with her boss 12 years ago right before we met and included Im told one night of sex. She met me and they stopped any romantic contact for 4 years but became close friends and confidents (they have the same personalities we are extremely different) the relationship would ebb and flow during the next 5 years including her boss having another affair with a married women that was discovered and almost cost him his marriage. About 2 years ago my wife tells me that they began getting closer again and included lying to me, secret dinners and legitamate business trips. I caught her in lie last year when I hired a PI to follow them to a dinner. The observed flirting and romantic gestures but no smoking gun. They followed her to his car where they could not see in. She has told me this weekend they were kissing and thats the last time they have don it. We were in counsuling at the time and quit because she had told the same lie to the therapist. Since then there has been an uneasy truce with little trust until the other day where I taped a phone conversation saying she lusts for him and and wanted to kiss him that day . I confronted her immediatly and she came clean although I think a little surgar coated. She says she loves me and there is know choice between him or me. She called him the next day to break it off and I actually called him Who I know and told him to stay away from my wife. He appologized and promised it was over too. I did let both know that if I sniffed one inappropiate thought or deed between it would be ugly and I would give all my evidence to his wife. He does not want adivorse because he could loose millions. The good thing is he now lives in Zurich Switzerland and is in the US only a few weeks a year and my wife has a new boss. Sorry to be so long winded but my therapist had surgery this weekend and I have no sessions for a couple of weeks. My wife has agreed to start counseling again and I am trying to find a new one as I write this. Will somone tell me that we can work this out or I am I living on Mars.