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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Also no safe for work or for your marriage.
Please help! You seem to have your head on straight!
I’m currently cleaning house.. doing laundry.. fixing the things she told me to fix months ago.
We kinda had a conversation.
Her: We aren’t together anymore. We will be sleeping in separate bedrooms until you are able to get yourself an apartment or whatever.
I have no idea on how to approach this or even anything I’m completely brain dead PLEASE HELP!!!
 

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Honestly I don’t find her attractive in any way we all play like that at work but we never really cross that line that person knows I’m married and has a child so I know she would never cross that line. Listen with out a doubt I would NEVER in my wildest dreams ever cheat or even think about cheating on my wife with anyone especially someone I work with I understand now after you put into perspective that yeah I work ALOT of hours so it seems like I got an emotional bond with said person but I don’t. I have a better connection with my guy friends at work this is the first time I ever posted on her account I was joking and my coworker saw it as a joke to I really did mess up BIG time and I’m at the point when I just delete my social media not temporarily delete but fully delete if social media is going to break this then I don’t want no part of it I want us to be good again I hate feeling like this.
So when marriages are strained or broken there are many factors which do you think applies. Most wives aren't ready to pack your bags over the first thing. Though cumming in your pants over a co-worker ...If you wife had come here she would have been told to pack your bags that you are a cheater and not to look back.

1. Feeling of resentment. For things like he doesn't appreciate me. He doesn't spend time with me. He wants sex but doesn't want to treat me like a live person like date me anymore. He complains about sex but he doesn't listen when I tell him....... I do all the work around the house, take care of our child, ?have a full time job and he spends Saturday drinking with he buddies instead of time with me or our child.

2. Disconnection. There's a concept of Love languages. Many men are physical touch or words of praise. women vary but many are time spent. I'm time and acts of service. Some are gifts. Do you know her love language? Do you speak to her through that and are you saying good or bad things?

Also part of disconnection people must continue dating or spending time being husband and wife versus parents or children or workers. Do you set tiime aside for that?

3. Lack of appreciation. Often times people fall in to habits of taking their spouse for granted.

4. Making them feel less than. I'm sure your little post hit this one. Do you comment on her appearance in negative ways. YOu may think you are being helpful but not really. That dress looks cute on you once you lose 5 pounds it will be perfect. You are beautiful, did you want to go put on make up they are taking pictures today.
Nun is so sexy I'll cum in my pants but I don't have the time of day to comment on your facebook page or even compliment you at home.

You get the idea. What do you think is going on. Now if she really thinks you are cheating that may just be it.... Chances are there is more.
 

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Yes but I still don’t find this woman attractive what so ever!
you realize even if that is true it doesn't matter. You wife knows nun is younger, thinner, sexier, and 100 other things she fears.

She's a mom. Her body has changed over the years and you don't have to throw a pebble very hard to see here on this website or in real life that men chase and do really stupid things over younger, prettier women.
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
So when marriages are strained or broken there are many factors which do you think applies. Most wives aren't ready to pack your bags over the first thing. Though cumming in your pants over a co-worker ...If you wife had come here she would have been told to pack your bags that you are a cheater and not to look back.

1. Feeling of resentment. For things like he doesn't appreciate me. He doesn't spend time with me. He wants sex but doesn't want to treat me like a live person like date me anymore. He complains about sex but he doesn't listen when I tell him....... I do all the work around the house, take care of our child, ?have a full time job and he spends Saturday drinking with he buddies instead of time with me or our child.

2. Disconnection. There's a concept of Love languages. Many men are physical touch or words of praise. women vary but many are time spent. I'm time and acts of service. Some are gifts. Do you know her love language? Do you speak to her through that and are you saying good or bad things?

Also part of disconnection people must continue dating or spending time being husband and wife versus parents or children or workers. Do you set tiime aside for that?

3. Lack of appreciation. Often times people fall in to habits of taking their spouse for granted.

4. Making them feel less than. I'm sure your little post hit this one. Do you comment on her appearance in negative ways. YOu may think you are being helpful but not really. That dress looks cute on you once you lose 5 pounds it will be perfect. You are beautiful, did you want to go put on make up they are taking pictures today.
Nun is so sexy I'll cum in my pants but I don't have the time of day to comment on your facebook page or even compliment you at home.

You get the idea. What do you think is going on. Now if she really thinks you are cheating that may just be it.... Chances are there is more.
4,3,1 honestly
I don’t know in my head I just think she’s angry and upset but then she hit me with a bomb saying we are no longer together we will sleep in separate rooms until I can find something on my own.
Reading that broke my sprit! But also put a fire under my butt to show me time to step my game up!
 

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4,3,1 honestly
I don’t know in my head I just think she’s angry and upset but then she hit me with a bomb saying we are no longer together we will sleep in separate rooms until I can find something on my own.
Reading that broke my sprit! But also put a fire under my butt to show me time to step my game up!
Ok so to step your game up we need to know a few things.

What is her love languages
Physical Touch?
Time Spent
Words of appreciation
Gifts
Acts of service?
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
Ok so to step your game up we need to know a few things.

What is her love languages
Physical Touch?
Time Spent
Words of appreciation
Gifts
Acts of service?
Definitely acts of service she loves it when I come home and take charge but recently I’ve been getting home late the prison I’m at is Super short staffed so we get mandatory stay over for 4 hours most days I get home at 8-9:00 pm so yeah I’m tired and dealing with inmates 12-16 hours a day gets to me
 

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Respect goes two ways and holy water in this context would be cum.
So he is telling someone he works with for more hours in the day then he spends with his wife that just looking at her make him cum in his pants.

That is very disrespectful to his wife.

and this ia a halloween nun so probably some skimpy 'sexy' outfit. I've never found those kind of remarks sit well with women.

In addition now the wife has to question does he really work 16 hours a day or is he working 10 and ****ing the nun.
That's your opinion and I got mine.
It not freaking disrespectful if it was in the context of what the OP is saying.

You get the idea. What do you think is going on. Now if she really thinks you are cheating that may just be it.... Chances are there is more.
If you're going to go this way. We all can think that the wife's out of bounds reaction is because she's the one that is cheating and she might be projecting. Why not? Why it couldn't be that way.

Here we mostly have a bunch of females ganging up on the OP and placing all the fault on him without really knowing what's going on. We don't have the wife's imput to have a clear picture of if this is OP constant behavior and for the wife final straw.

Whatever it is the OP has not given a complete picture for us to assess what really is going on, because for a wife to declare divorce on a stupid post is way out of line.

Moreover, here mostly females are ganging up on the OP to act like a pathetic supplicant, to get the wife's to take him back. Bad advice. OP needs to take his balls and be a damned man: if the wife wants out, he shouldn't behave like a lost little boy spinning around trying to find a way to make her understand that he doesn't want a divorce. If she is ready to divorce him OP should at least have the dignity to take it and say fine. We're done, rather than acting like a wimp.

IT WAS A ****ING JOKE. If nothing else is going on and the wife can't see that, them she must be a bitter pain in the ass to live with, and the OP would be better served getting out of this relationship.

To the OP. You are starting to sound like a desperate weak man that can't take the bull by the horns and deal with the situation as presented. In this forum only you must know what really is ticking your wife to go extreme on joke post. It would be interesting to find out for sure what really is going on. Is she mental? Or have you been giving her plenty of grief to go around for her to explode this way? Whatever, just keep your self respect and dignity if what she really want is to divorce you.
 

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That's your opinion and I got mine.
It not freaking disrespectful if it was in the context of what the OP is saying.



If you're going to go this way. We all can think that the wife's out of bounds reaction is because she's the one that is cheating and she might be projecting. Why not? Why it couldn't be that way.

Here we mostly have a bunch of females ganging up on the OP and placing all the fault on him without really knowing what's going on. We don't have the wife's imput to have a clear picture of if this is OP constant behavior and for the wife final straw.

Whatever it is the OP has not given a complete picture for us to assess what really is going on, because for a wife to declare divorce on a stupid post is way out of line.

Moreover, here mostly females are ganging up on the OP to act like a pathetic supplicant, to get the wife's to take him back. Bad advice. OP needs to take his balls and be a damned man: if the wife wants out, he shouldn't behave like a lost little boy spinning around trying to find a way to make her understand that he doesn't want a divorce. If she is ready to divorce him OP should at least have the dignity to take it and say fine. We're done, rather than acting like a wimp.

IT WAS A ****ING JOKE. If nothing else is going on and the wife can't see that, them she must be a bitter pain in the ass to live with, and the OP would be better served getting out of this relationship.

To the OP. You are starting to sound like a desperate weak man that can't take the bull by the horns and deal with the situation as presented. In this forum only you must know what really is ticking your wife to go extreme on joke post. It would be interesting to find out for sure what really is going on. Is she mental? Or have you been giving her plenty of grief to go around for her to explode this way? Whatever, just keep your self respect and dignity if what she really want is to divorce you.
We're trying to get a complete picture of what's going on and not getting anywhere.

It would be highly unusual that a wife and mother ends a marriage over a comment. So either she wanted a reason and he provided one or he's not providing relevant details.

What we do know is that he's working too many hours to be spending much time with his wife so that is a small clue. And his comment that said coworker is younger and thinner but he doesn't find her attractive is disingenuous, which hurts his credibility.

I'm not even married but I'm pretty sure my bf would not be happy if I made a public FB comment about getting off on a picture of a coworker that I spend a lot more time with.

OP, how much time do you spend with your wife? Can you think of any reason that she would've already been upset before this incident? It's quite unusual for a woman to walk over a FB comment, no matter how creepy it was.
 

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We're trying to get a complete picture of what's going on and not getting anywhere.

It would be highly unusual that a wife and mother ends a marriage over a comment. So either she wanted a reason and he provided one or he's not providing relevant details.

What we do know is that he's working too many hours to be spending much time with his wife so that is a small clue. And his comment that said coworker is younger and thinner but he doesn't find her attractive is disingenuous, which hurts his credibility.

I'm not even married but I'm pretty sure my bf would not be happy if I made a public FB comment about getting off on a picture of a coworker that I spend a lot more time with.

OP, how much time do you spend with your wife? Can you think of any reason that she would've already been upset before this incident? It's quite unusual for a woman to walk over a FB comment, no matter how creepy it was.
You are quite right. In a previous post I asked the OP to tell what really is going on, because what he's saying doesn't make sense at all, unless the wife is looney, which I doubt that that's the case.
 

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You are quite right. In a previous post I asked the OP to tell what really is going on, because what he's saying doesn't make sense at all, unless the wife is looney, which I doubt that that's the case.
The normal distribution suggests that most people behave within the realm of some kind reason. There are looney outliers but not many.

That's how a nerd like me thinks 😀

Hopefully he'll respond.
 

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4,3,1 honestly
I don’t know in my head I just think she’s angry and upset but then she hit me with a bomb saying we are no longer together we will sleep in separate rooms until I can find something on my own.
Reading that broke my sprit! But also put a fire under my butt to show me time to step my game up!
THAT is just COMPLETELY overkill for what you posted. I DO understand her being pissed off, but saying this? Something else is going on.

Yelling, I get. Talking it out, I get. THIS response? Its BS.
 

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Definitely acts of service she loves it when I come home and take charge but recently I’ve been getting home late the prison I’m at is Super short staffed so we get mandatory stay over for 4 hours most days I get home at 8-9:00 pm so yeah I’m tired and dealing with inmates 12-16 hours a day gets to me
Does your wife work full time? If not - tell her she needs to if you’re not “together” so you can spend more time with your kids!

16 hour work days doesn’t leave enough time for you to connect with anyone outside of work. Make sure your wife hasn’t found someone else to pay attention to her since you aren’t home much. Check her phone bill and see if she spends time contacting someone consistently.

Don’t ever flirt (even joking) with another person - especially social media. You disrespected your wife and marriage.
 

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Okay people! I’m seriously an idiot!!!
So the other day one of my coworkers (female)
Posted a picture of her Halloween costume she is a nun and everyone at work plays and jokes around and plays dumb on peoples Facebook comments so I commented on her post. this is when I know messed up “I just leaked holy water in my pants” I know stupid and ****ing stupid at the time I thought it was funny like I said we ALL play around like this at work we’re correctional officers we’re with our coworkers 12-16 hours EVERYDAY so we all developed a stupid since of humor but we all stay stupid stuff like that even worse things! Not an excuse I know but I said what I said 😭
Now my wife is like DONE!!!! Wants to throw my stuff out and leave my stupid ass. I NEVER in a million years would cheat on her with anybody shoot especially my coworkers but in her eyes she sees me doing it but I would never I got to much to loose Her my daughter my house. I tried to apologize but she’s not trying to here it blows me off today was the first day she ignored me.
So HELP! What should I do
That's hilarious. Surely your wife knows you by now to know if that was anything serious and I don't see how anyone could think that was anything serious. I think she's just trying to get you to pay penance. All you really should have to do is tell her what you said here about you and never cheat on her and you have too much to lose. But you do need to just think about if there's been a series of comments or events that might give her some reason to have more serious reaction to this.
 

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Nobody goes this wack over one stupid fb comment. There are any number of things she could come up with to tell you to do to ensure you don’t do this again.
She was looking for an excuse.
You give zero context about your past relationship with your wife to explain why this one comment is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
 

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Op most of us here agree that her reaction was way over the top and that for her it may be the final nail in the coffin.
Yes it was a stupid comment and very disrespectful, but to end a marriage over it is madness, unless it is the final straw for her.

How was the marriage before? What issues did you have?

Btw I wouldn't move out personally.
 

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I’m currently cleaning house.. doing laundry.. fixing the things she told me to fix months ago.
This is an indicator of what has been going on. He works stupid long hours - which is a legitimate reason to let chores slide for a while. But, what his wife sees is a bunch of juveniles horsing around while at work. Doesn't look like work to her and she's tired of the excuses. She could be questioning if he really has to be at the prison for all of those hours.

So, OP, have you been coasting at home?
 

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I’m currently cleaning house.. doing laundry.. fixing the things she told me to fix months ago.
We kinda had a conversation.
Her: We aren’t together anymore. We will be sleeping in separate bedrooms until you are able to get yourself an apartment or whatever.
I have no idea on how to approach this or even anything I’m completely brain dead PLEASE HELP!!!
Did you try any of the things I initially suggested -- apology flowers etc?

Your love language may be acts of service but that may not be your wife's love language. When things are wrong, you have to speak the other person's language.

As many people have pointed out, there has to be more to this then this single crass comment. Your comment about about fixing things your wife told you to fix months ago is part of this. Your wife has felt ignored for months & now she sees you "joking around" with a sexy woman from work. It wasn't a joke to her. It was blatant flirting. You may be short staffed at work but you wife thinks the long hours are an excuse for you to spend more time with the sexy nun co-worker. If we asked your wife why she said you are done, she will give you a long list of reasons. Bottom line you have not been paying attention.

So you asked what to do. My suggestion: Do some research & find a couples' therapist near you although now they are virtual so proximity is not as important. Go get those flowers. Hand them to you wife & tell her how deeply shocked you are by her comment that you two are done. Explain that is not what you want. Acknowledge that there is a lot you have apparently missed & that the comment to the nun was inappropriate & disrespectful. Tell her you don't want to separate. Assure her that you love her. Disconnect from the nun on social media. Then ask your wife what she needs from you to feel loved, cherished & secure. When she answers you start giving her what she wants / needs & suggest MC so that you can get your marriage back on tract. At this point your wife needs to see that you are committed to her & to being a better husband.
 
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