I'm new to this, so please bear with me. I have been emotionally neglectful of my wife for many years. I didn't give her feelings enough weight and didn't take her seriously enough when she would tell me I was hurting her feelings by not making her feel attractive. I LOVE her with all my heart. In August of 2009 we had another fight and she had stopped speaking to me. My way of dealing with this was to ignore her back. This went on to some extent for about 2 months. During this time (the shutdown) I had gotten on facebook for kicks and been contacted by a woman I had been in high school with. My wife was ready to leave me in November and I used the occasion of her mother having a stroke to get close to her again. She had (in her words) 'shut down' so my lack of attention wouldn't hurt her. I was trying to be a better husband. When my wife found out about the facebook woman in January, she moved out of the house. There is/was nothing between the facebook woman and myself except a few laughs and 'remember when' type stuff. It was SO wrong of me to keep the facebook thing going and I knew it but didn't stop. My wife is refusing to see me or talk to me unless we're at the marriage councelor (whom I sought out). How can I deal with this and show her that I Love her and want to make things right again? I have apologized profusely & admitted that all the things she says are true. I DO NOT want to loose this woman. Without her I am less than nothing. She completes me. She is my ONLY friend in the world and I have betrayed her and broken her heart hundreds of times. She says she needs space to figure thing out and doesn't know if she can open herself up to getting hurt again while I 'experiment' at being a better husband. I am afraid that by giving her the space she asks for it will make it that much harder to get back together. She said the main reason she moved out was so she could concentrate on getting her Masters degree without the drama of our marriage. We have been married since 1988 and have 2 grown daughters and 1 son (16) still at home. I have been playing by her rules (no contact), but each day is an agony. I am almost physically sick with the mess I have made. Any suggestiong or comments? Thanks!