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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife and I have a financial dispute involving loss of her property, with value of about $130, while she was away from home. She wants me to take 100% of the responsibility, but I'm only willing to take 50%. I'd like to leave details until we're both here to each tell our sides.

I wonder if this group, or someone here could be a neutral arbitrator for us. Even small claims court has fees and is a hassle to drive to.

Please, I just want someone to listen to both sides and give an impartial decision we can both live with.
 

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You'll get a number of people who will listen, a slightly smaller number will be impartial.

I'm sitting here currently thinking your financial issue goes beyond, who's right and wrong but why are you two so divided monetarily?
 

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It's only $130, man. And if you're in a community property jursidiction, it's pretty irrelevant anyways.

But more detail will probably get you a more detailed answer.
 

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Go right ahead and tell. You'll get plenty of responses here. Even with them, you'll still have to decide how to solve this on your own. If you can't, the courts will at least give you 50/50, that's the way income, assets and liabilities are split when you get divorced.

I can't wait to weigh in on this, :rolleyes:
 

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There's only two ways I can seem to interpret the little of the story we've been given:

1 - Your wife was away from home, took something worth $130 with her, and lost it, and wants you to help pay for it.

2 - Your wife was away from home, left something worth $130 at home, you broke it or lost it - and she wants you to buy her a new one. She feels you are totally responsible, you feel you are only half responsible.

What's the scenario here - she accidentally left her cell phone in the pocket of her pants and you put them into the washing machine? (Which might be a scenario where both people are kind of at fault.) Or did you like - lose something of hers in a poker match with your buddies when she was out of town?

If you are actually considering going to court with your wife to fight giving her $65 for something you had at least some hand in losing/destroying, as another poster said - its hard to believe that's the only issue in this marriage. Where do you stand on finances?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank for all your responses so far. It's #2, something she left here was lost. I'd prefer to wait to give you any further details until she is here to give her side.

CA is a community property state, but we have a premarital agreement each waiving our community property rights, and agreeing to separate finances.

I'm interested in an impartial decision based on the facts of the case, similar to what I might get in small claims court. The P**sy-whipped among you who say just give her anything she wants to keep peace are not providing one.
 

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Why did you start this thread if you aren't yet ready to give any details? What is the point?

But the bigger question is why do you need a third party intervention for a squabble over $130? If your marriage is in such a bad state that you can't settle something like this between you and your wife, you have much bigger problems.
 

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Edgar, you've got a lot more to learn about life than how to split a measly $130. Good luck, your going to need it.
 

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Are we talking about $130 or $130,000? BTW, prenups, even in community property states, do not necessarily stand up in court. Why? Because baseball great Barry Bond's ex took him to court to prove coercion. She won.

An attorney has to know the specific details of your situation. Even then, it depends on how much each party has to lose - or spend - that will often determine the outcome of the case.

Even if we're talking $130,000 here ... that is generally chump change in a divorce action.

An attorney cannot give you legal advice online without specific disclaimers. Why not go to a local attorney's website and pay the bare-bone minimum to get an educated guess on how this will play out?
 
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Thank for all your responses so far. It's #2, something she left here was lost. I'd prefer to wait to give you any further details until she is here to give her side.

CA is a community property state, but we have a premarital agreement each waiving our community property rights, and agreeing to separate finances.

I'm interested in an impartial decision based on the facts of the case, similar to what I might get in small claims court. The P**sy-whipped among you who say just give her anything she wants to keep peace are not providing one.
Why do you want this impartial decision as if you're in a trial? What do you suppose it will do for you when you have one? At best, it will make one of you feel superior to the other, which cannot possibly help your relationship.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks for all your comments. My wife is here now and can give her side. I will give mine first.

While my wife was gone, I had some guests visit the apartment. One I knew slightly, the other was a stranger, brought by the first. Sometime just before they left, one of them, probably the stranger, took my wife's notebook computer which had been left out in plain sight all the time she was gone. I recognize I bear SOME responsibility, but I think she bears some also for being careless with her property. On previous trips, I have offered to keep her valuables in my safe or other secure location, but she has always declined.

My wife now speaks: I live in the same apartment, of course I can put my stuff here. He invited his guests whom he barely knows to the apartment and they took my stuff, why SHOULD I take the responsibility for that, I just want him to replace the tablet which was stolen. I could not put away all my stuff while I was away.

Me again: She could have put away the tablet. It was left in an especially vulnerable position. Perhaps I should have done that for her, but I don't like to touch her stuff without her direction.

Wife: I don't understand his reluctance to move my stuff to a more secure area. There was other stuff of mine there, such as a notebook computer, which wasn't stolen.

Me: In hindsight, which is always 20/20, perhaps I should have. All this happened on short notice, and I can't think of everything, or watch everyone at all times.
 

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If I left something out and someone came over and took it, I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for it.

I might try to prove who took it and go after them.

We leave our tablets laying around the house. Different people who live here have people over from time to time. If the tablet disappeared it wouldn't be anyone's fault.
 

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IMHO --- Once you let people into your home, virtual strangers I might add, it became your responsibility to safeguard your wife's items. To her, the place she left her tablet was not in a vulnerable area. It was left in the privacy of her own home. Now, if she left it on the front porch, that would be another story.

1) You, Edgar, should replace it
2) You should apologize to your wife
3) You should get the names of those in your home and see Judge Judy.

Of course, this is just my humble opinion. And it was free!
 

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I have to agree with IrishGirlVA for the very reasons she gave. Your wife has a reasonable expectation that her possessions will be safe in her home.
 

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wow...what a petty argument.
dont sweat the small stuff.
i dont think its "p*ssy whipped" to chalk up the tablets loss to a thief and replace it.
jesus.
 
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