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Question and advice from the ladies here please!

My wife was taking birth control pills before I met her to control irregular periods due to her high levels of Testosterone. It was higher than normal but the doctors weren't that concerned to think about other treatments and prescribed birth pills to regulate the periods and the testosterone level. Which they did.

When I met her, she had a high sex drive! She enjoyed sex as much as me. And it wasn't just about orgasms, even though she would reach orgasms regularly. She initiated all the time... Even for quickies where only I came.

Fast forward a few years, the sex became less frequent, but I put that down to work pressures and running a home. But was it was still regular 3 / 4 times over the weekend and non during the week. Now more often initiated by me and we never had quickies. It had to be built up.

Now, she has come off the pill, as we may try for a baby in a year or so, her sex drive is non-existent. She went to the doctors as her periods became irregular again and they told her the testosterone levels were high again.

Even on the odd occasion we do have sex, she doesn't enjoy it as much. It's more about your turns over, now my turn!

Are you other women experiencing similar things? I have a high sex drive. I enjoy making her feel good, even if she falls asleep after. She seems to have no drive in her to give me the pleasure.

What can you advise?

I've tried weekends away, tried teasing and hinting throughout the day, we talked about it, I've asked what she wants, suggested or tried different things, but she's just not interested. She knows she has no drive.

We are close to each other, so it's not like there is no affection, but with sex it's I'm tired at night, need sleep in the morning and busy during the day!

Can I help her?

I need advice!
 

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If she has high testosterone levels wouldn't she be displaying other bodily changes as well? Not just with her cycles?
 

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How long has she been off the pill now? Sometimes the libido decreases when on the pill, and I would think now that shes off, it will increase at some point. Of course it may take a month or two to get out of her system before you see a difference.

If the testosterone is way over that of the estrogen and progesterone, then they need to look further into why that is. Large amounts of testosterone in women can actually signal several different medical conditions.
 

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@trey69, other issues from the testosterone are acne on her back and increased facial hair. She's having to go beautician twice a month now for upper lip and chin threading.

She's been off the pill now for 5 months. First 3 months she didn't get a period. Which prompted the initial doctors visit. She's getting tested again in a few weeks as doctor was concerned.

"Testosterone is high wouldn't her drive be higher" - I would've thought the same. But fact is since she got off the pill her drive is zero.

She's says she just doesn't feel like it.
 

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Then it's probably not the testosterone levels. I'd start testing for other causes, other hormone fluctuations, or even other factors altogether. Find a doctor who knows most of the causes of low sex drive in women and start some tests. If medical reasons are all ruled out you're going to have to start investigating other causes like stress, perhaps recent psychological issues, or maybe even relationship issues between you.
 

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Then it's probably not the testosterone levels. I'd start testing for other causes, other hormone fluctuations, or even other factors altogether. Find a doctor who knows most of the causes of low sex drive in women and start some tests. If medical reasons are all ruled out you're going to have to start investigating other causes like stress, perhaps recent psychological issues, or maybe even relationship issues between you.
This ^^^^^^^^^^

Be sure she gets a Thyroid hormone and possibly a cortisol profile. Both Estrogen and Testosterone are actually a growth hormone as well as the primary sex hormone of gender. However Thyroid plays a synergistic role with both of these.

Since none of us should be privy to such personal information, I think you need to see what the actual levels are and she should discuss them with her doctor. In the meantime you may want read up on the topic

Testosterone: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia

There are a few things you may want to be aware of in terms of increased levels above the norm, but as with anything it is how far above the norm. Take care.
 

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I thought that I remember reading that a women's libido would be reduced if testosterone levels are either too low or too high. Sorry, I don't have a link.
 

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I thought that I remember reading that a women's libido would be reduced if testosterone levels are either too low or too high. Sorry, I don't have a link.
The problem is that this is not straight forward... has more to do with the c*cktail of other hormones that play along... One just needs to look at the normal 28 day female cycle to understand that the point of ovulation is more of a "frequency" change rather than a straight increase in Estrogen. I am more concerned as to what is causing the increase in Testosterone... read the NIH link.
 

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She needs to see a specialist to diagnose her condition. This can be caused by several types of medical problems and she needs to be thoroughly checked out. the most common is PCOS or an adrenal gland problem.

Info from eHow:
Common Testosterone Increasing Diseases
Adrenal gland disorders and ovarian problems, often caused by other hormonal imbalances, create an over-abundance of testosterone. The most common testosterone-increasing disease is polycystic ovarian syndrome. Diabetes can also lead to these endocrine upsets.

Rarer Disorders That Cause High Testosterone
Other disorders that cause high testosterone in women include acromegaly, adrenal neoplasm disorders, Conn's syndrome, Cushing's syndrome, dwarfism, gigantism or multiple endocrine neoplasm 1 and 2. An androgen-producing adrenal or ovarian tumor can lead to high levels of testosterone, as can congenital adrenal hyperplasia and thyroid disorders in general.

Medications That Cause High Testosterone
Steroid abuse can increase testosterone to unhealthy levels in women, but other medications have been linked to the disorder as well. One notable example is phenytoin--also known as Dilantin--a drug used to treat epilepsy.

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Her estrogen and progesterone need to be in balance with testosterone - does she have those hormones also checked via regular blood tests? I'm not sure if it's a good idea for her to try to get pregnant if her hormone levels are so out of whack, hopefully a good endocrinologist can advise her on that.
 

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Thanks all. As mentioned she's back in for another blood test next week. I will mention asking to see an endocrinologist.

Will try go there myself. If she wants me there!

@kari, agreed, I'm insisting we need this fixed and her periods to be regular before we even think about starting to try for a baby. At the moment I don't think she could handle the stress of try for a baby and not being successful.
 

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Ordinarily a higher level of testosterone will increase sex drive. However, as a couple of others suggested, her problem is most likely poly-cystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Most medical professionals are getting away from calling the problem PCOS though. PCOS is actually a symptom of insulin resistance, a disorder where the body doesn't utilize the insulin very well. Up until about 15 years ago many doctors didn't understand how all of this worked--standard treatment was birth control pills. Not any more!

Standard treatment now usually involves a couple of prescriptions or changing one's diet (and exercise). A competent doctor (or endocrinologist) usual prescribes Metformin (to make the body use insulin more efficiently) and Aldactone (to reduce testosterone levels). Some people can even do it by going on a strict diabetic diet and exercise. That's usually hard because a person with this problem tends to be tired a lot and unmotivated.

Hope your wife gets relief soon.:)
 

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Old post but this is similar to my situation. I'm fairly health-savvy and can attest that it is not any one of the 3 hormones mentioned in this thread but the ratios, as a couple folks suggested. My wife has slightly high T, very low P4 (progesterone) and had a similar disposition as OP described in the first post w/r/t irregular menstruation. Her drive was high in the beginning but dropped off as OP described, though I would attribute that largely to relationship 'honeymoon period' as that really is a chemical reality.

Anyway, my now wife began taking P4 only pills to induce a period as part of our fertility treatment, but I did notice an acute uptick in her drive.

So, curious to hear update from OP, and, hope this helps someone else understand.
 

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Perhaps she's uncomfortable with her body these days? I can see how:

* Back acne
* Increased facial (and perhaps body) hair
* Lack of periods

can make a lady feel less womanly. Plus, there might be other changes as well.
 
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