Help pls pls pls

I would really appreciate all replies, but from men who have cheated I would really like to hear from pls.

Please bear with me, and thanks so much in advance. I have a long distance relationship with a man for 10 years. But we first had two years of constant togetherness in the same country. He comes home every 1-2 years for about 2 weeks. He's been separated from his ex wife since I met him and we've waiting for his divorce to get finalized so he can petition me and we can be together. I recently found out that he has been having an affair with a girl in the house where he was renting a room. I had no idea because he made me feel like I could trust him, doing all the things he used to do to assure me of his love, like calling me multiple times a day, Skyping on off days or when he gets home, telling me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and he loves only me, saing I'm so pretty, sending me cards and flowers on occasions. Turns out that they had sex starting 2007 and he told her that it was just a physical urge he had and that they can't have a relationship, but she kept seducing her and he kept being horny and giving in. He went home here to spend time with me that year when they started having sex. Again he showed only signs of a man who was truly in love and only wanted me when he was here. He even showered me with gifts which isn't unusual of him. He even gave me a ring. But they continued having sex when he got back and he still hid this from me. Turns out the girl already had two abortions but told me that she was using pills the whole time and then she got pregnant for the third time and didn't want to abort anymore. Now this bomb explodes in my life and she told me she has a two year old son and they've been living together. She said that he claimed that he already broke up with me but he never did, we have gone on as we normally do, even having internet "intimacy" just like we do before, he covered all of this up. She said she started suspecting and found a way to get in touch with me. The girl wanted to confront him already and we did this by audio skyping. Before she went to him for the skype, I texted him that she was waiting for him and to not go out because I was scared that she might be violent. So before he came out to her, he texted me- "Whatever happens pls trust that you're the only one I want." Now during the confrontation the girl said that she wanted him to make a choice. He said that he will choose neither and will just be by himself. The girl sounded desperate and said that she won't be able to let him go just like that. He also said that she cuts herself with a cutter at times, and I also heard that she was punching him on the shoulder or chest at the start of the confrontation. He said again that he will not choose. But he messaged and txted me after the talk, asking me if I can forgive him and that he will be coming home soon to visit me here in our home country asap. The girl has since gone silent and I don't know if he's told her the same. I've asked him to skype with me if he's serious and he asked for several more days as he's still working.

Now I would like to ask from your experience as men who cheated before, even the women cheated on but the marriage survived:
1. Is it really possible that he really loved me all this time that he was having an affair and having sex with her and hiding it from me? (We promised to be monogamous)
2. Is it really possible that a man can lie so much to cover up the affair if he really loves me?
3. How do I talk to him when we finally skype? What should be my terms and all?

Thank you all so much for your time and patience.