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I don't know what to do. My husband acts like he hates me. When I tell him I need him to treat me with love or I have to leave, he blames me or tells me "fine then, leave". He won't change. When I cry, he says, "we're just stressed out", which is true, then, the next day he treats me the same. I have 2 kids, no drivers liscence. He is not excited about life anymore. He gives me silent treatments, blame shifts, passive aggressive. I am unable to care for my kids alone with no drivers liscence. What should I do? Please, I need advice. I have an autistic son and no friends or family to help. I then say I have looked at apartments and he doesnt seem to care. A while ago he said he doesnt love me. Then said he was stressed out. I havent felt the same since then. We need counsiling and there is no babysitter. What do I say to him? Do I wait for him to treat me more passively aggressive or to actually leave, since I have no way out? PLease somebody, I am puking and crying. I can't get a straight answer out of him.
 

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Good morning catwoman. I feel so sorry for you. It sounds as though you have multiple problems going on, which are pulling you down. As for the big obstacle....why can't you get a driver's license? Do you already know how to drive? Do you live in an area with public transportation?
 

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Hi,
I'm sorry you are feeling so much stress, I'm sure a lot has to do with that as well with your husband.
You two sound like you just need to re-connect again.
Try reading the book the 5 languages of love by gary chapman and start to do some of things your husband might be missing in the relationship and see if you can slowly turn him around, it won't happen over night but it's worth a try.....1 person can do this and maybe he is willing to read it as well when he feels a little better about you and him.
I would suggest if at all possible get that drivers license, it will give you some independence which is a good thing for you and your kids.....
good luck and I hope things are better soon. Don't put to much pressure on his just yet.
 

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Have you looked for a local Autism family support group? My oldest son is autistic as well and this is a great way to meet people and even in some cases find people to rotate child care with. I met a woman when I lived in Kentucky through there and her and I rotated every weekend. She took mine Friday night and I took her Saturday night. Even is the H's were working we still got some time without the young ones. Are your children still pretty young?

I completely agree with Jessi. Is there a reason you can't get a license?
 

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I can tell you a sure fire way to get control back. TAKE control back. Stop sitting there crying. I know honey that you are hurting and scared, but sitting around worrying what is going to become of you is not the way to ensure the best comes from you.

You have children and if you don't want to take action for yourself, take action for them. Have you decided to leave? Is he asking you to leave, or can he leave? Find out first what the answers are there.

If you area going to part ways, second you need to figure out transportation. If you have public transportation your troubles are lessened. Most public transportation systems have a monthly rate that will be a fraction of a pennies cost to actually having to get a car and insurance. Furthermore your local human services department should be able to send you in the direction of help with all your needs for a short while.

You did not say what your education level was.Do you know that the federal government will usually pay your way through school. Given the fact that you have dependents. If you are unemployed and even just legally separated you will get a full ride for a bachelors degree.

Hope is not lost. You did not say that your marriage was finished. You need to have serious convo with your h and be sure you make the choices you want to make.

If it's over you will need to be strong, it will not be easy, but it can be done. You never said if you did not have a license due to it being revoked or if you just never got one.

Take the advice given here about finding an autism support group, with our without your h, with or without a good marriage you should have the support of mothers going through what you are going through.

Wipe your tears, take a deep breath and take back control over your life.
 

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One other thing.

You said "he is not excited about life anymore". This comment to me is a major indicator that he is depressed. This entire problem with your marriage could have nothing to do with your marriage at all and with an illness he is struggling with. I would talk to him about his depression and encourage him to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. Not a medical doctor but a psychiatrist who is licensed to write prescriptions and who will prescribe meds along with therapy. I have been down this road. If moderate depression is not treated it will become severe lead to many problems not limited to the demise of your marriage. If he refuses to make an appointment make it for him and don't let go of it until he goes. If it gets bad enough you have the power to force him into therapy.
 
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