I voted for you to separate now. You only get one life, as far as I know. And you've done what you can on your own to try to fix things, but if she's not willing to work with you, there's nothing much you can do about it.
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This says it all IMO. You need to make some really hard boundaries for yourself as in "By x amount of time I want to reach y and if not I'll do Z". Don't waste another nanosecond waiting for something that's never going to come. Get yourself together and formulate a concrete plan to either make things work or to end it once and for all and try it with someone new.My greatest fear is in 15 years time looking back at 2012, and see that I repeated my habits of inaction and complacency, and feel bitter and cheated by life
I would love opinion and insight, as I am desperately unhappy.
Thank you....I have worked hard on myself for the past 10 years. I was 220lbs, I am now 185ilbs. I am 5'11'' in height, and feel attractive.V: hardest thing I am still learning, you can only control yourself! As things stand she sees you and all you do as not having any value, U are not worth effort on her part. No amount of wishing is going to make her change, only hope you have is to doing something major to wake her up, which is why I voted to separate now. Either she will come out of her fog or she won't. I was married 30 years, the last three years I experienced no intimacy, I was miserable. Then I got lucky, my wife had an affair and suddenly I was spurred to action. I lost weight, worked out like a monster, gave up tv and went back to church. Now 15 months later, I have a great,loving relationship with a lady who is interested in my feelings, needs and desires. The sex is AWESOME, but just as important the time we spend together is fun filled, exciting, and flys by. I would advise you to immediately start working on you. Not tomorrow, NOW! Be prepared for heart ache, 25years is a long time, but there are a lot of women looking for what you offer, a loving, caring relationship. Start now to ready yourself to meet them. Good luck to you. P.S. Your child knows more than you think, kids get it. My own daughter (age24). Said to me when seeing my despair. "dad, I love my mother, but she has never been happy, you tried but you couldn't make her happy, mom will never be happy, YOU CAN DO BETTER!". V, YOU CAN DO BETTER!
Hoosier: Awesome update! I followed your thread. Vitality, take Hoosier's words to heart.V: hardest thing I am still learning, you can only control yourself! As things stand she sees you and all you do as not having any value, U are not worth effort on her part. No amount of wishing is going to make her change, only hope you have is to doing something major to wake her up, which is why I voted to separate now. Either she will come out of her fog or she won't. I was married 30 years, the last three years I experienced no intimacy, I was miserable. Then I got lucky, my wife had an affair and suddenly I was spurred to action. I lost weight, worked out like a monster, gave up tv and went back to church. Now 15 months later, I have a great,loving relationship with a lady who is interested in my feelings, needs and desires. The sex is AWESOME, but just as important the time we spend together is fun filled, exciting, and flys by. I would advise you to immediately start working on you. Not tomorrow, NOW! Be prepared for heart ache, 25years is a long time, but there are a lot of women looking for what you offer, a loving, caring relationship. Start now to ready yourself to meet them. Good luck to you. P.S. Your child knows more than you think, kids get it. My own daughter (age24). Said to me when seeing my despair. "dad, I love my mother, but she has never been happy, you tried but you couldn't make her happy, mom will never be happy, YOU CAN DO BETTER!". V, YOU CAN DO BETTER!
She wont figure out anything until she is presented with the possibility of things changing. instead of "to figure it out herself" should be replaced with "until you give up and the status quo continues"So I don't know right now ...she has asked for a few weeks to figure it out herself ...as she is currently setback by my new approach
Give me a break! She is worried about what you have to do to make her feel loved? What about what she needs to do to make you feel loved? She is just gaming you.but alas I get a list of things that I need to do to make her feel loved ...