[blackdiamond]

I met this divorcee with two kid online two year ago, he was nice, loving and helpful when visted me in my country couple of times and i visted him once. I have move to settle with with him and it few month now.This guy is so lazy and I have been doing the chores in the house cleaning and tiding up the house all the time and it worse when its his week to have the kids. He will cook and eat and leave the pot and plates on the table. He will mess up the kitchen and living room. not forget his dogs that also mess up with mud in the house and so on. Every thing about his kid are priorty. Self hygniene is also negative, does not brush the teeth and dont not change clothes after work niether in the morning, unless he takes a shower and thats 2 or 3 times in a week....i feel less attracted to him and so i been cheating on him with a new man who want to marry me and seem to repect my emotional physical and fiancial need ... My question is how do i confront this guy with breakup without hurting him and the kids......?

 

[major misfit]

My first instinct is to try to warn you about getting involved in another relationship such as the one you're describing...but you didn't ask about that, so I won't.

There is NO way you're going to be able to leave him without hurting him and the kids. You can't pull the band aid off slowly. Just tell him the relationship is finished, and be done with it.

 

[Heathy]

I'm sorry, doesn't brush his teeth and only showers 2-3 times a week!? Have you confronted him about that?

Anyway, it seems like you are ready to just leave and are more worried about him and the kids. For him, it's gonna hurt, nothing you can do will make it not hurt other than staying. I don't think the kids will be hurt too much if you leave now and don't drag it out. I came from a broken home and my mom dated many guys during my life. The only time I really cared that she was leaving a guy was when she left my dad. And if a guy was only around for a few months...that's nothing. You also mentioned that he doesn't have them all the time. I don't think they really had a chance to get attached. It's better to just get it over with for their sake. There's really not a right way to break up with someone. Just tell him the reasons why and make sure he knows that it's over.

 

[FCHAVEZ]

You should just tell him ASAP. Don't wait too long and get it over with. It sounds like you are ready to move on so you need to just do it. I would say do not marry the other guy right away. Give it time and get to know him better so you don't end up unhappy again.