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I have been married for two years now and my wife has a 14 year old son. His father passed away when he was 8 and I met him around age 11 so I have been in his life for some time.

That being said, my stepson and I had a great relationship at the start. As the relationship progressed, so did my view of how she enables him in every way (makes up for the death). He manipulates her big time, lies all the time, won't listen to the simplest of rules and has used our credit cards on xbox and ps4 without permission.

Here's a typical scenario:
1. Kid gets caught doing something bad
2. Always says he doesn't know why he did it or shrugs his shoulders and gets a big time attitude. He likes to glare at me and breathe heavy while glaring. Makes me want to slap his face...
3. When we all sit together to talk, he will apologize and say he's sorry
4. 2-3 days later, he will tell his mother that I hate him.
5. Mom will refocus attention on me asking why I'm mad at him
6. Wait 2 days to a week and start back at number 1.

He got in major trouble yesterday for using credit cards and punishment is coming (his mom was out of town). I took away xbox and electronics and he couldn't believe why...almost comical.

Then last night after all this ****...he had a 1am bedtime (no school today). I woke up at 3:39am to a very loud television blaring from the living room. I went out and sure as **** there he was as usual...made him get into bed on the spot and i have been awake since. Leaving for work in 10 minutes and I'm exhausted.

Between the tv / xbox issues and his total lack of respect for me and his mom, I'm thinking about leaving. I've seen him get worse and worse since I met him and don't want to be here when he's 18. In fact, I don't want to be here right now.

Needed to vent, and need some advice.
 

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I have been married for two years now and my wife has a 14 year old son. His father passed away when he was 8 and I met him around age 11 so I have been in his life for some time.

That being said, my stepson and I had a great relationship at the start. As the relationship progressed, so did my view of how she enables him in every way (makes up for the death). He manipulates her big time, lies all the time, won't listen to the simplest of rules and has used our credit cards on xbox and ps4 without permission.

Here's a typical scenario:
1. Kid gets caught doing something bad
2. Always says he doesn't know why he did it or shrugs his shoulders and gets a big time attitude. He likes to glare at me and breathe heavy while glaring. Makes me want to slap his face...
3. When we all sit together to talk, he will apologize and say he's sorry
4. 2-3 days later, he will tell his mother that I hate him.
5. Mom will refocus attention on me asking why I'm mad at him
6. Wait 2 days to a week and start back at number 1.

He got in major trouble yesterday for using credit cards and punishment is coming (his mom was out of town). I took away xbox and electronics and he couldn't believe why...almost comical.

Then last night after all this ****...he had a 1am bedtime (no school today). I woke up at 3:39am to a very loud television blaring from the living room. I went out and sure as **** there he was as usual...made him get into bed on the spot and i have been awake since. Leaving for work in 10 minutes and I'm exhausted.

Between the tv / xbox issues and his total lack of respect for me and his mom, I'm thinking about leaving. I've seen him get worse and worse since I met him and don't want to be here when he's 18. In fact, I don't want to be here right now.

Needed to vent, and need some advice.
 

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Welcome to fatherhood :wink2:

You really need to bond with him before it's too late. At 11 yo he is just hitting second gear in his attitude rev-up. You need to find something you two can do together. Whether it's chores he can help you with, hiking, fishing, working on the car, etc.. Even if all he wants to do is play video games all day (like my boy), get him outside for a little bit and make sure you compliment him when he gets the hang of the activity. Don't tell him it's his job, or he has to earn his keep or anything - you have a lot of catching up to do. My son and I get mad at each other all the time, but I joke around with him too and try and teach him neat things and tell him what a great helper he is when he assists me with auto repairs or yard work. Just try to have good father-son times. Don't be a bully. Let him know you're telling him how to act because you want him to have a good life and be a good man when he grows up. Because you love him.
 
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