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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, TAM ladies. My wife and I had a talk last night about our sex life and one thing that came up (ha) was that she wants to be more seductive.

She lived a very sheltered life before our marriage and her parents never openly showed affection, so she never saw any kind of healthy examples of this. She's never read women's magazines or romance novels or anything like that. She thinks they're silly. She really struggles with how to be flirty. If she wants to have sex she just asks, "Do you want to have sex?" That's the extent of her flirtation.

Anyway, although she likes the idea of being "chased" and I love the idea of pursuing her, she has no idea how to encourage this. I made a couple of suggestions (show a bit of skin, etc.), but she's stuck for how all this behavior is supposed to look.

Can you recommend any resources to help her learn how to be flirty and seductive? I did a search online but just found pick-up artist stuff aimed at guys. I have no idea what to even look for, because I've only ever searched for relationship advice for men.

Thanks.
 

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Is she comfortable wearing sexy lingerie? Not acting specially in it, just wearing it?

Also, watch some romantic movies with her.
 

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YOU are her best resource. YOU know what YOU find seductive - we have no clue. So I recommend that YOU tell her what you'd like her to do, what turns you on, what toys she could use, clothes she could wear, things she could say. All we can tell you is what turns our husbands on, which if you then relay that to your wife, is coming to her fourth hand.
 

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Oh, I can make one recommendation though - she should learn how to give a great blow job.
 

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Hello, TAM ladies. My wife and I had a talk last night about our sex life and one thing that came up (ha) was that she wants to be more seductive.
Why not, whenever she wants to seduce you, have her pull down your pants, grab you by the gonads, and drag you off into the bedroom like a cavewoman? There's perhaps no clearer communication that "she wants you". I prefer a little less barbarism, but this might work well for you two.
 

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Just Google "how to be seductive to your husband" and find all sorts of articles and YouTube videos to show your wife. There are more ways that are written about than you will ever get here plus videos to show your wife and not just describe them. Being able to view a video is a much better teaching aid than reading about it. Also seduction is objective. What works for one woman may not work for the other.

You can see how using Google and YouTube is a much better option by the answers you got here from all guys.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for the replies so far.

Also, perhaps I should have mentioned this before, but a big part of the problem is probably that she doesn't feel especially sexy, because she gained a lot of weight after marriage. We talked about that last night, too.

Is she comfortable wearing sexy lingerie? Not acting specially in it, just wearing it?
She has corset type stuff, but she dislikes lacing it up and unlacing it. I've offered to help, but she thinks it's all a hassle.

Also, watch some romantic movies with her.
I hope it doesn't come to that. :p Actually, she's not really into them herself.

YOU are her best resource. YOU know what YOU find seductive - we have no clue. So I recommend that YOU tell her what you'd like her to do, what turns you on, what toys she could use, clothes she could wear, things she could say. All we can tell you is what turns our husbands on, which if you then relay that to your wife, is coming to her fourth hand.
Yeah, this is good advice and I'll do this. The problem is that she's incredibly literal minded and doesn't extrapolate well. So she'll just do exactly what I tell her--the same steps, over and over. That's why I was hoping for more resources, because with a variety of input she'll be better able to vary things.

Oh, I can make one recommendation though - she should learn how to give a great blow job.
I am in complete agreement. :grin2:

Why not, whenever she wants to seduce you, have her pull down your pants, grab you by the gonads, and drag you off into the bedroom like a cavewoman? There's perhaps no clearer communication that "she wants you". I prefer a little less barbarism, but this might work well for you two.
Well, that's kinda the problem, so to speak. The only "move" she has is grabbing me by the crotch. It'd be nice to have her flirt and me pursue. Directness is not her problem at all. Sometimes it's like I married a guy.
 

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Yeah, this is good advice and I'll do this. The problem is that she's incredibly literal minded and doesn't extrapolate well. So she'll just do exactly what I tell her--the same steps, over and over. That's why I was hoping for more resources, because with a variety of input she'll be better able to vary things.
I know what you mean - my husband is the exact same way.
 

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If flirting doesn't come natural to her, she will most likely feel awkward at first. You having a great reaction to her efforts will be the biggest help. If there are scenes in movies that you replay in your mind as a sexy fantasy, consider showing her those. But yes, with most things these days as Vinnie says Google and You Tube are your best friend! >:)

Have a blast exploring!
 

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Maybe start with some dirty talk which could be anything. My wife, for example, won't use the p word or any of the c words. Is she bluntly told me what she wanted using that kind of language I would find it hot. Not because the language is hot but because I know she wouldn't normally use it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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I just searched for that phrase and it looks promising--thanks! How did I miss such an obvious phrase when I did my searches? Duh.
Sometimes I do the same. Just be forewarned that a lot of women are just not going to be seductive. My wife shared me with her best friend for 30 years (they are both bi), engaged in a wife swap and some soft swinging as well as a few thousand threesomes and tried every fetish most people are aware of and more. Yet she is not seductive but when you are in bed with two women, who cares. :)
 
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Thanks for the replies so far.

Also, perhaps I should have mentioned this before, but a big part of the problem is probably that she doesn't feel especially sexy, because she gained a lot of weight after marriage. We talked about that last night, too.

A lot of porn video stores carry sexy outfits in plus sizes. They are hawt!



She has corset type stuff, but she dislikes lacing it up and unlacing it. I've offered to help, but she thinks it's all a hassle.

I personally own some "corsetty" tops that are laced up in the front, but unzipped in the back Go to Victoria's Secret. Seriously.





Yeah, this is good advice and I'll do this. The problem is that she's incredibly literal minded and doesn't extrapolate well. So she'll just do exactly what I tell her--the same steps, over and over. That's why I was hoping for more resources, because with a variety of input she'll be better able to vary things.

Ask her to google how to give lap dances, or touch herself seductively in front of you....I guarantee, I get results with these techniques all the time...
 

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Additionally, wearing a sexy "librarian" or "business woman" type outfit while slowly unbuttoning the buttons of a low cut blouse while maintaining eye contact with the object of one's desire is totally hot.

Anything that involves unzipping, unlacing, untying...
 

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I think it takes a lot of confidence to be seductive. You have to perceive that you're coming across just as you intended and you're going to have the impact that you expect. If she's not comfortable with her body, it would be good to start there. If she feels attractive, it's going to help with her self confidence. If she thinks her body is sexy, she's more likely to think that others will perceive her that way.

I always advise other females to try pole fitness classes. Not only does it make you fit, but it really makes you feel incredibly sexy and alluring. All of this is happening in a class with women of all shapes and sizes and you work through feeling silly about your body and it's limitations into being amazed at what you can do and how awesome you look doing it. There are usually mirrors all over so you can see what your body looks like from various angles and you slowly start to like what you see and build your own self confidence.

Check Groupon for some excellent discounts on pole fitness classes.
 

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Corsets are a lot of work, maybe start with something simpler. That could just be a long t-shirt and nothing else, or some silky lacy type lingerie. Something comfortable that she can wear around the house for a while before you get to bed.

One possible trick - she can get a mask - like a Venetian feathered mask. For some reason a mask makes some people feel comfortable acting differently from usual. (there are cheap ones on the web, don't need the super expensive real ones). There are some for men as well, can turn it into a sort of dress up game.


Thanks for the replies so far.

Also, perhaps I should have mentioned this before, but a big part of the problem is probably that she doesn't feel especially sexy, because she gained a lot of weight after marriage. We talked about that last night, too.



She has corset type stuff, but she dislikes lacing it up and unlacing it. I've offered to help, but she thinks it's all a hassle.



I hope it doesn't come to that. :p Actually, she's not really into them herself.



Yeah, this is good advice and I'll do this. The problem is that she's incredibly literal minded and doesn't extrapolate well. So she'll just do exactly what I tell her--the same steps, over and over. That's why I was hoping for more resources, because with a variety of input she'll be better able to vary things.



I am in complete agreement. :grin2:



Well, that's kinda the problem, so to speak. The only "move" she has is grabbing me by the crotch. It'd be nice to have her flirt and me pursue. Directness is not her problem at all. Sometimes it's like I married a guy.
 
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