me and my wife 30-28 have been married for 9 years next month no kids, no property
i havent been the best husband over the course of that time in ways that make me feel ashamed, i was never in touch with my feelings i coudnt express myself to her, in my mind i couldnt accept anything was wrong when a situation arose that made her angry, and i would close the door on her feelings, making her feel she was wrong for feeling the way she felt at times,,, we suffered strong communication issues,but like all marriages we had our ups and downs we did take trips together every year and for the most part we seemed like a happy couple we kissed and said i love you everyday eventhough lately our sex life had slowed down,
on my bday in Oct she cooked me a nice meal and we had all my friends over it was a very special night for me that made me realize what i have/had,,, next day i told her i would make a change for the better, wich im very proud to say i did, i started making us breakfast every weekend , doing more chores around the house, taking it upon myself to take over some of here duties like feeding the dog, if i went out with friends i would come back home early, i quit smoking, i decided to spend more time with her, we carved a pumpking for halloween, ate oysters, went to the movies and hung out during the weekends
november went by quite smooth and i can say that she felt happy, based on reading texts and her expressions towards me and she even bought a new piece of furniture for our apt
december was going well on the 10th she asked me for my dl # to add me to car insurance so i can drive the car too on the
11th she went to meet up with one of her friends wich was fine i worked the evening of that day
12th she texts me to tell me she will see another friend that night , i replied "damn when will you make time for us? im staying here at home by myself again"
she: "im sorry you feel that way" me:"should i be happy?" she:" id ont know how do you feel?" me:"well im upset" she:" im sorry you are upset" me:"well your are you telling me everything last minute, why? like yesterday too, why not make time for us?"
she:"well beacuse i need space i think, timing is not right ill call you later" me:"ok i love you what time r u calling me back? i love you"
she didnt txt i love you back,,, i went back home and immediantely bought flowers for her and waited for her to get home after she met up with her friend that night,,, when she cameback she said that she didnt love me anymore, tought we were going diff ways, didnt want the same things, couldnt see us having kids and that it was OVER, this came OUT OF THE BLUE for me since i had been trying so hard for her lately,,, my world was crushed,, she said she needed 1 night apart and went back to her friends house that night, i got the friends info in case of anything, told her i wanted to fight to save our marriage we cried but she didnt stay
13th trough text me telling her i love her, etc
she says she understands but she needs this and we would talk later,, she came home that night the same thing that it was over and that she felt this way for a while... we kissed and hugged but i couldnt stop crying she left again to a frineds house
14th i told her i need to tell her how i feel i wrote it all down on this paper for her to come home it was important to me that she knows my emotions, she came gabbed the letter told me she would read it later, for me to give her the weekend i made her sit down and read it then she left again,, i txt after saying a bit more she txt ok, thank you
15th no contact
16th over txt i told her i saw a therapist offered me the # to hers
she said she would call later, when she did i told her she doesnt want to admit there is still hope i want to prove to her i can make her happy, etc.. she says sorry she knows all of this but she is not there anymore that she had made a desicion she sorry it comes to this but its whats right for her that she feels better being alone
17th this time im on the offensive not crying and strong i tell her she needs to come by so we can speak so i can tell her with words face to face how i feel, she says she will be here 7pm before she gets here, she calls angry and to say she isnt coming for us to meet in a neutral place, she doesnt want me touching her and that her desicion is final,, i told her i accepted her desicion for her to come , i wouldnt touch her
she did and we talked i told her all of my efforts and my changes made her see that its a sincere change not a bull**** one, she awknoleges that says its unfortunate and that the wants me out by the end of january since the lease is in her name,, i tell her i cant since my finances arent good and i have a right to the apt as well since we are married and the earliest i could go would be april i also lost my job bcz the company closed, that im not a piece of paper she can just throw in the garbage,, she gets really angry and runs for the door i tell her more things, she breaks down crying tells me she really feels unapriciated through this whole time and her emotions come out
then she leaves with a bigger suitcase of clothes
18th i text and tell her how i finally get all she feels by describing situations its very sincere
19th i txt her to call me back, she replies "thank you for your words it helps me heal to know that you finally saw me, i wont call at lunch give me a few days please ( wich i will do i wont call or txt any more), i txt back saying that im a ashamed by the fool ive been, etc end of our conversation up until now
she hasnt taken off her wedding ring, she hasnt said divorce, we still talk, and she asked for a few days,,, im a dumb for still holding hope? im past the part of crying now i can sleep as well now, mostly its my fault the relationship is ****ed like this,, any hope left???? i still love her and i cant understand why she just left like this, after 8 years!!! x-mass is in a few days our 9th year wedding aniversary in less than a month!!!!!! i told her we could of talked planned an exit, etc,, things shouldnt be done this way selfishly and immature, but i have been immature in the past,,, a person doesnt stay this long with someone they dont love during oct, nov and dec she seemed genuily happy i really doubt she met someone else being that she is so ****ed up emotionally,,, what bother me the most though is the fact that i was trying so hard.... what should i do??????????????
UPDATE AND INFO I HAVE A NEW JOB,, AS FOR ANOTHER MAN BEING INVOLVED IM NOT SAYING ITS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT I SORT OF DOUBT IT, IF I CONFRONT HER ON IT I WILL LOSE HER??
i havent been the best husband over the course of that time in ways that make me feel ashamed, i was never in touch with my feelings i coudnt express myself to her, in my mind i couldnt accept anything was wrong when a situation arose that made her angry, and i would close the door on her feelings, making her feel she was wrong for feeling the way she felt at times,,, we suffered strong communication issues,but like all marriages we had our ups and downs we did take trips together every year and for the most part we seemed like a happy couple we kissed and said i love you everyday eventhough lately our sex life had slowed down,
on my bday in Oct she cooked me a nice meal and we had all my friends over it was a very special night for me that made me realize what i have/had,,, next day i told her i would make a change for the better, wich im very proud to say i did, i started making us breakfast every weekend , doing more chores around the house, taking it upon myself to take over some of here duties like feeding the dog, if i went out with friends i would come back home early, i quit smoking, i decided to spend more time with her, we carved a pumpking for halloween, ate oysters, went to the movies and hung out during the weekends
november went by quite smooth and i can say that she felt happy, based on reading texts and her expressions towards me and she even bought a new piece of furniture for our apt
december was going well on the 10th she asked me for my dl # to add me to car insurance so i can drive the car too on the
11th she went to meet up with one of her friends wich was fine i worked the evening of that day
12th she texts me to tell me she will see another friend that night , i replied "damn when will you make time for us? im staying here at home by myself again"
she: "im sorry you feel that way" me:"should i be happy?" she:" id ont know how do you feel?" me:"well im upset" she:" im sorry you are upset" me:"well your are you telling me everything last minute, why? like yesterday too, why not make time for us?"
she:"well beacuse i need space i think, timing is not right ill call you later" me:"ok i love you what time r u calling me back? i love you"
she didnt txt i love you back,,, i went back home and immediantely bought flowers for her and waited for her to get home after she met up with her friend that night,,, when she cameback she said that she didnt love me anymore, tought we were going diff ways, didnt want the same things, couldnt see us having kids and that it was OVER, this came OUT OF THE BLUE for me since i had been trying so hard for her lately,,, my world was crushed,, she said she needed 1 night apart and went back to her friends house that night, i got the friends info in case of anything, told her i wanted to fight to save our marriage we cried but she didnt stay
13th trough text me telling her i love her, etc
she says she understands but she needs this and we would talk later,, she came home that night the same thing that it was over and that she felt this way for a while... we kissed and hugged but i couldnt stop crying she left again to a frineds house
14th i told her i need to tell her how i feel i wrote it all down on this paper for her to come home it was important to me that she knows my emotions, she came gabbed the letter told me she would read it later, for me to give her the weekend i made her sit down and read it then she left again,, i txt after saying a bit more she txt ok, thank you
15th no contact
16th over txt i told her i saw a therapist offered me the # to hers
she said she would call later, when she did i told her she doesnt want to admit there is still hope i want to prove to her i can make her happy, etc.. she says sorry she knows all of this but she is not there anymore that she had made a desicion she sorry it comes to this but its whats right for her that she feels better being alone
17th this time im on the offensive not crying and strong i tell her she needs to come by so we can speak so i can tell her with words face to face how i feel, she says she will be here 7pm before she gets here, she calls angry and to say she isnt coming for us to meet in a neutral place, she doesnt want me touching her and that her desicion is final,, i told her i accepted her desicion for her to come , i wouldnt touch her
she did and we talked i told her all of my efforts and my changes made her see that its a sincere change not a bull**** one, she awknoleges that says its unfortunate and that the wants me out by the end of january since the lease is in her name,, i tell her i cant since my finances arent good and i have a right to the apt as well since we are married and the earliest i could go would be april i also lost my job bcz the company closed, that im not a piece of paper she can just throw in the garbage,, she gets really angry and runs for the door i tell her more things, she breaks down crying tells me she really feels unapriciated through this whole time and her emotions come out
then she leaves with a bigger suitcase of clothes
18th i text and tell her how i finally get all she feels by describing situations its very sincere
19th i txt her to call me back, she replies "thank you for your words it helps me heal to know that you finally saw me, i wont call at lunch give me a few days please ( wich i will do i wont call or txt any more), i txt back saying that im a ashamed by the fool ive been, etc end of our conversation up until now
she hasnt taken off her wedding ring, she hasnt said divorce, we still talk, and she asked for a few days,,, im a dumb for still holding hope? im past the part of crying now i can sleep as well now, mostly its my fault the relationship is ****ed like this,, any hope left???? i still love her and i cant understand why she just left like this, after 8 years!!! x-mass is in a few days our 9th year wedding aniversary in less than a month!!!!!! i told her we could of talked planned an exit, etc,, things shouldnt be done this way selfishly and immature, but i have been immature in the past,,, a person doesnt stay this long with someone they dont love during oct, nov and dec she seemed genuily happy i really doubt she met someone else being that she is so ****ed up emotionally,,, what bother me the most though is the fact that i was trying so hard.... what should i do??????????????
UPDATE AND INFO I HAVE A NEW JOB,, AS FOR ANOTHER MAN BEING INVOLVED IM NOT SAYING ITS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT I SORT OF DOUBT IT, IF I CONFRONT HER ON IT I WILL LOSE HER??