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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just married 3 days and he hasn't talked to me here on vacation. He says I was watching his drinking and he said it pissed him off. Well I let it go but he won't he will not speak to me go outside the room. I asked if he wanted toi just anul the marriage and he said no but how can u be so cruel to me. I apologized and he said I don't want anything from you. I have r days left here and I'm stomachsick. Why is he being this way. Why can't he just let it go
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You really need to decide if this is the way you want the rest of your married life to go. I mean if he's acting this way on what is suppose to be the best time of your life how is he going to act/react at the worst times of your life.
I'd tell him to grow the heck up and stop with the silent treatment or he could just find himself single again....You need to start out your marriage like you'd like it to continue...if you give in now you'll always be the one giving in.
Good luck and I'm sorry your having to deal with this now.
 

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Is he always like this? This can't be the first time he's sulked and pouted about something. Do you really want to live with a sulky child as your husband?

If he won't leave the room, you go. Go for a swim in the pool or sightsee or whatever it is you can do in your vacation spot. Show him that sulky and pouty and silent treatments just mean he's making himself miserable but that won't prevent you from having fun without him.

If he can't communicate better than this, and if he has such a hard time when he thinks "you done him wrong, dammit!", then your marriage is probably doomed. Communication and giving each other a break instead of taking offense at every turn is important to a marriage's success.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
You really need to decide if this is the way you want the rest of your married life to go. I mean if he's acting this way on what is suppose to be the best time of your life how is he going to act/react at the worst times of your life.
I'd tell him to grow the heck up and stop with the silent treatment or he could just find himself single again....You need to start out your marriage like you'd like it to continue...if you give in now you'll always be the one giving in.
Good luck and I'm sorry your having to deal with this now.
Thanks I tried it he just got worse and said he doesn't want my apology and that I treated gim cruel by mentioning his drinking. I said I can't do anything then and he said no he doesn't want anything from me. I said u give me no options then but to leave
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Is he always like this? This can't be the first time he's sulked and pouted about something. Do you really want to live with a sulky child as your husband?

If he won't leave the room, you go. Go for a swim in the pool or sightsee or whatever it is you can do in your vacation spot. Show him that sulky and pouty and silent treatments just mean he's making himself miserable but that won't prevent you from having fun without him.

If he can't communicate better than this, and if he has such a hard time when he thinks "you done him wrong, dammit!", then your marriage is probably doomed. Communication and giving each other a break instead of taking offense at every turn is important to a marriage's success.
I totally agree with you and I am always willing to forgive the hell he put me through. Maybe he is trying to get me to leave him. He also laughed at me when I got angry
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
You are both probably stressed the F out. Weddings are stressful, but it shouldn't carry into the honeymoon days... I don't even think I had sex the night of my first wedding (big big $$$ wedding) due to nerves from all the pressure, but you can bet we rocked it like bunnies out on the honeymoon.

DO realize that this didn't start a couple days ago, though. Your trust with each other and respect for one another was clearly not good going into the marriage. I don't know if he cheated at the bachelor party or you have been ignoring him since the wedding plans began or what, but something's going on... something you can - and MUST - worry about AFTER the honeymoon.

The 3 day old marriage you currently have is actually repairable, but it will be very vey tough:

Red pill: Depending on how objectively good your partner and your relationship trust/respect were beforehand, you might seriously consider cutting your losses. If he feels trapped and angry that he's in a marriage and "needs to drink," then that's a pretty big red flag of an emotionally immature partner. If there are also many other red flags and you do want to end it, I see nothing wrong with that. Life is short. FYI, if lied and/or you pressured him into the marriage, then learn your lesson and don't do that next time around. All lies conceal truthes that will come out eventually.... or they will keep eating their way out... your choice. "Ignorance is bliss" does not apply in marriages.

Blue pill: If you decide to take the "reconcile the marriage" route, then tell him you both need to brainstorm on how to have an awesome night of honeymoon sex. It sure won't be awesome for you, trust me... but you can fake it as best you can. Sex is mostly physical for men even if it's more connection for women (again, sorry... probably will be bad sex for you next few times or more). Tonight, wear a good sexy outfit, have a glass of wine (not five!) and go with it. If he gets rough or disrespectful in bed or if he's drunk, then go back to the previous paragraph and end it... for good. If the sex works ok, he opens up, and you can bond a bit (hint: go slooow and steady with rebuilding), then when you get back, get into marriage counseling right away, read books and read on this site.

GL either way
I never presuured him into getting married. H was the one wanting marriage so bad. He was also enganged before for. Whole month. I have tried everthing possible these last few days but he just ignores me. I said its cruel what he's doing but he just doest care omg I am outside right now crying my eyes out
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I never presuured him into getting married. H was the one wanting marriage so bad. He was also enganged before for. Whole month. I have tried everthing possible these last few days but he just ignores me. I said its cruel what he's doing but he just doest care omg I am outside right now crying my eyes out
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How can u try to reason with someone who doesst care. I am so ashamed I have to tell my family its over whaty a mess I am in
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
How can u try to reason with someone who doesst care. I am so ashamed I have to tell my family its over whaty a mess I am in. I just want to walk in the ocean and die
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How can u try to reason with someone who doesst care. I am so ashamed I have to tell my family its over whaty a mess I am in
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I'm so sorry things seem to be falling apart for you so early on! Hopefully he's just been under immense stress and will snap out of it, but acting this way on your honeymoon does not act to put him in a good light. You are better to find out NOW then have years of your life be wasted.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
He is very insecure. You need to "trick" him with sex to calm him down (much better than him drinking and worsening the problem).

Later on when the vacation is over, you need to REALLY evaluate him objectively. Use marriage counseling and just listen and listen some more.

He clearly has stress and unresolved issues from his past (co-dependent personality type, past romantic or family losses, etc). If you have cheated on him or he has been cheated on, that hurts but he will get over it in time (assuing you are faithful and patient with him). He may be too emotionally immature for marriage and need time to think and do therapy on his own. If so, you have to let go.

If he has potential to be a functional spouse, then rehab him in ways I stated above. If not, well.... sorry. Live and learn. But all of that is **** you can worry about a week from now.

Basically, I will say this: you took vows, so give it a decent try. Why? Because you wouldn't be on this forum if you didn't want it to work. If you give it a decent try, then whichever side of the fence you end up on in the end, you will feel better if you at least tried. In the end, it takes two good partners to make a marriage, but in the coming days, try being the bigger and more mature person and see what happens.

Right now? Get off the computer or smart phone, and get into something "more comfortable," get some lipstick on, and get some soft relaxing music going. But again, don't expect much in terms of sex. You are basically using it as a tool to open to communication line with him and avoid him drinking when angry. GL... and get offline. Now. This is serious ****. Life is in front of you, not on a lighted screen. I am done replying here for now, but let us know in a week if you think of it. Again, GL.
Thanks but he won't let me touch him. I tried giving him a hug he pushed me away. I have never cheated or direspected him but he has disrespected me manyu times and I forgave. Why can't he dso the same for me good bye
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I'm so sorry things seem to be falling apart for you so early on! Hopefully he's just been under immense stress and will snap out of it, but acting this way on your honeymoon does not act to put him in a good light. You are better to find out NOW then have years of your life be wasted.
The ocean is just steps away its such a beautiful place. I just coulkd end it all I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have to tell people. Goodnite thanks for listening
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Your friends and family will understand, but don't involve them unless you're 100% sure you want it over.

FYI, you don't read or follow directions very well. Your thinking is flawed due to emotion, so I would suggest you don't use alcohol tonight.

I will give you one more chance, but I'm heading home from office to my own wife (can't handle two women right now, sorry):
With regard to calming your new husband, your approach was flawed. He won't go for direct hugging or soft romance in his current state. Think of raw animalistic sex. You need to get all your feminine sexy power (follow directions in my post above) and let him come to you. Don't hate the male brain, just understand it. Try one more time and try damn well... or don't. It's up to you, and you're an adult. Bear in mind that his past is HIS past. If he wants to talk (he will definitely want to if you get the sex to work), just listen... NO solutions or commentary.

Good night.
 

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The ocean is just steps away its such a beautiful place. I just coulkd end it all I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have to tell people. Goodnite thanks for listening
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Ok but i hope you don't kill yourself just because you're embarrassed to tell your family it's over. THAT WOULD BE STUPID.

Think about telling them it's over after you have 2 kids. Then he will still always be in your life. At least right now with no kids it's like a gf/bf breakup. So you wasted some money on a wedding. WHO CARES.
 

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The ocean is just steps away its such a beautiful place. I just coulkd end it all I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have to tell people. Goodnite thanks for listening
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Please, please, please don't do this! Just tell your family exactly what you are saying here! They will support you! It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's not worth ending your life over....
 

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You guys need to relax. People are going to do what they're going to do. She just said she doesn't drink, so she will update you in a week if she's going to marriage couseling or annullment lawyer. Relax and focus on what you can control.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If she abuses drugs, herself, or anyone else tonight, that's beyond your control. Go home to your own wives like I am. She has all the tools and advice she needs on the previous page posts.
 

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You guys need to relax. People are going to do what they're going to do.
If you read what she wrote, she sounded a bit suicidal. Someone has to knock some sense into her just in case she is. To kill yourself just because you have to annul a marriage 3 days after it happened is not a good reason at all.
 

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I don't drink
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A total non drinker married to someone who drinks is always going to create conflict. Not that conflict is bad or that couples cannot learn to live with each other's differences, but there is going to be an effect. Try to find it in your heart to be more accepting of your husband
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
A total non drinker married to someone who drinks is always going to create conflict. Not that conflict is bad or that couples cannot learn to live with each other's differences, but there is going to be an effect. Try to find it in your heart to be more accepting of your husband
I have been accepting. He is a problem drinker and it stopped nbut started again after the wedding. Anyway he won't talk he wants a divorce. Told me to get the f*** out of his face
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