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87 Posts
I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship; the sad part is I know it and he will not see that its time to call it quits. We have been together for 7 years and have 2 wonderful daughters together. The entire time we have been together he has called me names and has been unhappy with my weight.
When we first got together I was in a good place financially, I had a good and demanding job; managing a local tourism attraction. The problem with the job was that I was young and ****y and said some very stupid comments and given I had recently gotten a DUI so I was dismissed from my position. I was also the lightest I've ever been 165ish and at 5'11" I must say I was pretty darn hot even being that heavy. I'm a pretty competent and intelligent individual.
I meet him and he was seemingly everything I wanted at the time. He was handsome and happy. He didn't have the best family but his grandmother was a saint, he claimed he had a good relationship with her. I assumed since he always spoke positively about the women in his life that he knew how to treat a woman. For a while he made me so happy, I was wanted and desired by this hardworking handsome guy not to mention the sex was dynamite I couldn't resist him. He drank a lot and smoked lots of weed but I was young and did my share too. I've been cheated on by him several times. I've spent the whole relationship trying to find go back to where I felt for the first 3 months and basically living on those old memories.
Today I'm not even a shell of who I was then I've got a part time job that only pays 700 a month. I find myself disgusted with how I look the scale says 235 and it makes me want to puke. He frequently flys off the handle over stupid things. Last night it was where I put the dog food container (how could I be so lazy I didn't put it six inches off the back porch). He still drinks but not as much when he drinks like we did when we first meet and he acts like a teenage that thinks he's cool for smoking weed. I find us not spending time together because his behavior is juvenile when he does these things and I no longer partake because I feel the kids are more important than getting stoned or drunk. I do find the occasional drink appealing but pot leaves me in a haze similar do drinking heavily so I simply don't do those things anymore. Now I feel I'm half the woman I was and I'm stuck with this sorry ******* who clearly does not love me.
I cannot say I am completely innocent but I try my best to be a great mother and good woman. He does not understand that things do not always get done and uses that to belittle me. Last night for instance I punched him in the throat I realized about halfway through my swing that was not what I wanted to do but by then it was too late. That kind of loss of control is completely unacceptable but at the same time he would call me a name and say I'm stupid then say go ahead punch me and ultimately I did it, thats the way it is whenever he is criticizing me he follows me around egging me on to go bat **** crazy and every now and again I do, not that that makes it acceptable. He spent the rest of the night till 1:30 when he passed out trying to get me to loose it again. Its not ok and its time for both of us to find a healthy relationship and life for the sake of our children.
For me the biggest problem is I want splitting up to be civil and adult for the children. They have already seen enough crazy from mom and too much unacceptable behavior from their father. I need to follow through with things for my girls but at the same time I'm scared. How can I find the strength to walk away?
When we first got together I was in a good place financially, I had a good and demanding job; managing a local tourism attraction. The problem with the job was that I was young and ****y and said some very stupid comments and given I had recently gotten a DUI so I was dismissed from my position. I was also the lightest I've ever been 165ish and at 5'11" I must say I was pretty darn hot even being that heavy. I'm a pretty competent and intelligent individual.
I meet him and he was seemingly everything I wanted at the time. He was handsome and happy. He didn't have the best family but his grandmother was a saint, he claimed he had a good relationship with her. I assumed since he always spoke positively about the women in his life that he knew how to treat a woman. For a while he made me so happy, I was wanted and desired by this hardworking handsome guy not to mention the sex was dynamite I couldn't resist him. He drank a lot and smoked lots of weed but I was young and did my share too. I've been cheated on by him several times. I've spent the whole relationship trying to find go back to where I felt for the first 3 months and basically living on those old memories.
Today I'm not even a shell of who I was then I've got a part time job that only pays 700 a month. I find myself disgusted with how I look the scale says 235 and it makes me want to puke. He frequently flys off the handle over stupid things. Last night it was where I put the dog food container (how could I be so lazy I didn't put it six inches off the back porch). He still drinks but not as much when he drinks like we did when we first meet and he acts like a teenage that thinks he's cool for smoking weed. I find us not spending time together because his behavior is juvenile when he does these things and I no longer partake because I feel the kids are more important than getting stoned or drunk. I do find the occasional drink appealing but pot leaves me in a haze similar do drinking heavily so I simply don't do those things anymore. Now I feel I'm half the woman I was and I'm stuck with this sorry ******* who clearly does not love me.
I cannot say I am completely innocent but I try my best to be a great mother and good woman. He does not understand that things do not always get done and uses that to belittle me. Last night for instance I punched him in the throat I realized about halfway through my swing that was not what I wanted to do but by then it was too late. That kind of loss of control is completely unacceptable but at the same time he would call me a name and say I'm stupid then say go ahead punch me and ultimately I did it, thats the way it is whenever he is criticizing me he follows me around egging me on to go bat **** crazy and every now and again I do, not that that makes it acceptable. He spent the rest of the night till 1:30 when he passed out trying to get me to loose it again. Its not ok and its time for both of us to find a healthy relationship and life for the sake of our children.
For me the biggest problem is I want splitting up to be civil and adult for the children. They have already seen enough crazy from mom and too much unacceptable behavior from their father. I need to follow through with things for my girls but at the same time I'm scared. How can I find the strength to walk away?
