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When my W and I were in MC, if the MC had suggested role playing, we both would have walked out (but at least we would have agreed on that and had that in common).
Sometime role playing scenarios might be one related to Michele Weiner Davis' idea of just do it and fake it until you make it. This would be where a couple role plays themselves but pretending to have some enthusiasm for sex. The intended result is to learn how to develop one's responsive desires and overcome the initial anxiety of feeling like you may not be able to get aroused.

One of her speeches goes something about like this, "if you are someone that does not like the idea of having sex, but really enjoys it once it happens, perhaps you need to write a note on your arm that says, 'I like sex' to help you remember that it is likely going to be enjoyable!"

There are people that fall into that category if they do not understand that they have a responsive desire. Role playing a little to fake some enthusiasm can actually help.
 

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Sometime role playing scenarios might be one related to Michele Weiner Davis' idea of just do it and fake it until you make it. This would be where a couple role plays themselves but pretending to have some enthusiasm for sex. The intended result is to learn how to develop one's responsive desires and overcome the initial anxiety of feeling like you may not be able to get aroused.

One of her speeches goes something about like this, "if you are someone that does not like the idea of having sex, but really enjoys it once it happens, perhaps you need to write a note on your arm that says, 'I like sex' to help you remember that it is likely going to be enjoyable!"

There are people that fall into that category if they do not understand that they have a responsive desire. Role playing a little to fake some enthusiasm can actually help.
For SOME perhaps.

We need to keep in mind that loss of desire for one’s partner comes in many forms and from many different causes and factors.

If you go on the presumption that desire loss is a natural result of kids and long term relationship and that people simply get bored with same ol’ same ol’ but have a fundamentally sound relationship and and are both attractive, kind and decent people - then yes, some role play may be fun.

But if someone has let themselves go and has put on 100lbs and their hygiene is poor and they are simply too lazy to lift a finger, are you really going to try to squeeze a 100lb overweight woman into high heels and fishnets and a leather mini skirt to play the $1000/hr escort?

If he’s 100lb overweight and hasn’t seen his own Johnson since Obama’s inauguration, I’m sorry, him dressing up as a gladiator is not going to get her motor running.

What if one is mean and abusive or a falling down drunk or druggie?

If someone is on a host of anti depressant meds or has some kind of hormonal disorder, you can play Swedish porn star till the cows come home, but they’re not going to feel any actual arousal.

And let’s face it, after years of marriage and kids and bills and life challenges - some people simply do not like their spouse anymore and do not want them touching them...ever.

You can’t play-act that away and I question if enduring a lifeless, sexless marriage and lack of intimacy is ever going to lead to a greater intimacy or higher state of being or any kind of greater reward.

It just leads to more sexless marriage and lack of any real intimacy......until they die.
 

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You say this situation has been going on for several years? I think she is not interested in you any more. It sounds like she does not work? Seems to me she is enjoying the life you give her, house, car(s), money, any extras, AND no child custody issues?

If you mention divorce my guess is that your sex life reignites for a while and then back to the revolving door of no sex? Does this sound familiar?

It sounds like you know that she no longer wants you, but you choose to make excuses for her. You know deep down the truth, but not facing it is easier.

Set yourself free from this situation because this is how the rest of your life will be with her. I bet you know that though. Find a woman who you are better suited for, that will treat you well.

Life goes by so fast, do not short change your worth for a woman who does not see it. You may find the happiest days are coming but get out now. Best of luck.
 
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