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Hello to all,
I am hitting middle age and have been married to my second husband for almost 22 years. We've had our ups and downs and worked through some tough times; others still lingers, but I suppose that's to be expected in marriage.
Our youngest (and only child together) has turned 19 and it's hard to believe we will be empty-nesters soon.
To be honest, I'm a bit afraid. Over the years Mr.FairWeatherFan (hubby) and I have less and less in common, I feel a bit stuck and don't know if it's just me, if I'm getting old-minded or if I should be worried.
I'm constantly on a roller-coaster and many times feel I'm going crazy.
I hope to connect with people who can relate and perhaps help me navigate these waters.

Peace & Happiness -
DF 馃尯
 

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If you feel like you're going crazy, go to your doctor for a full physical to find out if there is any underlying problem. Also seek out a good therapist to help you sort through these issues.

You could be low on some vital nutrients. If you are eating a lot of carbohydrates that could create nutritional problems. Most people are low on Vitamin D and magnesium. You might consider supplementing those in addition to making sure you are eating a lot of vegetables daily, including greens.

I don't think it's normal to feel that way. You should be entering the best years of your life. I'm in a similar stage as you and despite having some stressful circumstances I feel clear and energetic. I also take good care of myself by eating a lot of vegetables, protein, taking several supplements, and getting regular exercise. As far as emotionally, I make sure to nurture my close relationships and have an excellent support system as well as an active spiritual life.
 

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After 22 yrs it is normal in some marriages to feel like you've grown apart. Barring other unknown problems, the best thing is to share this with your husband. He may be thinking similarly and would welcome working on this challenge together. This is not uncommon at all.
 

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In light of your other post here I would say your a tough gal with a good logical clear mind. I think your instincts probably serve you well.
 

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The facts are.....you're not the same person you were 22 years ago. Neither is he. What's valuable to you in your life now? One thing is your marriage, one thing is your independence. Being independent doesn't have to equal divorce. Back to; what's important to you? (Full disclosure, I've been happily married almost 35 years)
 

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Also: Considering your age and soon empty nesting you'll be a really good catch for the next guy so no worries there. Your
a double whammy considering your acknowledgement and tending to your mans needs. I have the logic drive mind as well
so I guess I'm a little biased when I read your post, though my wife does a good job to balance us out as a couple.

How much risk can you take to get off the roller coaster?

Perhaps you may want to define how far you want to take it to get some change or if your willing to risk it all.
 

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I didn't see "I want to get a divorce but don't know how" in your posts....are you gathering info on how to weather ("in a positive way because I do love my husband") this stage in your marriage or justification to separate from your husband? A couple feeling they've grown apart after 20 years is common. Obviously there are different ways to handle that fact. You definitely sound intelligent enough to know different groups of folks will offer widely differing approaches.
Your approach has to be your approach based on love and knowledge. Again it goes back to what's valuable to you in your life. ?
 
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