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I'm going to share this post with my readers. Your story is the perfect storm of an overly agreeable husband, a wife who lost attraction long ago, rug-sweeping an affair, and the husband's low self-esteem permeating all facets of the relationship.

18,418 Posts
Dude. Buddy. Gently.

You need to pull your head out of your rear end here and take a look around.

You’re working 60+ hours a week, not sleeping, eating, exercising, or dressing well. You’re unhappy with your marriage and are flirting with some rando engaged chick online. And just puking all over your thread here - which is fine, by the way - but belies your actual problem:

You don’t have your **** together.

Maybe you’re depressed, maybe it’s existential ennui, maybe it’s the affair your wife had, maybe it’s menopause or the moon being in the seventh house of aquarius. All that is BS and doesn’t matter, because you don’t have your **** together.

So start getting your **** together.

Today: exercise. When I get into a funk I lift heavy things or do something violent but positive, like martial arts or the heavy bag. Clears the old cob webs out of my stupid male brain.

Today: eat right. Mostly green things. No processed ****. 1/3 of the calories should come from quality proteins and quality fats.

Today: set a bedtime that gives you 8 hours of solid sleep. I don’t care if that means you have to go to bed at 9PM. Do it.

Today: set an exercise plan, meal plan, and come up with a list of hobbies that can be social that you’ve let go of over the years. You’re gonna start something like that up again, and start to get some buddies.

Today: repeat after me... your wife’s orgasms are not your responsibility. Your orgasms are your responsibility. Stop fixating on hers, and start fixating on yours. We’ll work more on that later.

Don’t say anything to the wife. Just start acting. We’ll work on that later, too.

You can do all that today. Right now. So get to it.
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