remyschaefer I hear you loud and clear. Your husband has to learn how to take on a new paradigm in his life. He has to "reinvent himself" as the risk of sounding trite. He is lucky he has you to point these things out. I know it's not an easy road but he simply has to see that he can't go along in life being a doormat for others. It's never too late to change. I know I am changing constantly and it's a never ending journey. Would it be possible for you guys to move further away from his family? The distance might help out a little. Oh, and I know what you mean when your mate chats the breeze with a counselor. That is so annoying!