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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been with my husband for 9 years and married 6. We got together when I was 16 and him 18 so now we are in our mid twenties and have 2 beautiful boys aged 4 and 7 months. Things have taken. We have always butt heads as he is a Taurus and me a Gemini we are different but always the same on some levels. We are currently in a small 2 bedroom apartment until we close on our first home. Could this have come at a worse time? So we have been on edge. Since out second some was born we have stopped sleeping in the same bed, we spend zero time together. He works and I don't. By the time he gets home we are both tired. I have let my appearance go a bit but that's easily manageable. I have to simply try and take off the baby weight. He told me tonight he doesn't know if he wants in this marriage. That he wants to see what else is out there, what it would be like to sleep with other women as we meet so young our experience is very limited. I'm heartbroken. Yes, it's been hard and things have changed but I feel marriage is a job you have to work at and we have simply stopped but we can make it work. But now all I will be able to think about is him cheating or not emotionally being in this marriage. I don't currently work so I don't even know how I would handle being a single mom to 2 boys as I would have them all but every other weekend if this happened. I just don't know how to handle this. Any advice?
 

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He says he wants to sleep with other people and wants out of the marriage.

Are you sure there is not another woman already?

Why are you sleeping in different beds?
 

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Something is amiss.

What happened that you no longer sleep in the same bed since your second son?

Just like SALT above asked, how sure are you that there isn't another woman already?

"You want to sleep with other women? Sure be my guest. I would like to sleep with other men too. In fact, I plan to go out tomorrow night and I want you to watch over the children. And by the way, I've already contacted a lawyer who told me that if I divorce you, I"ll be entitled for full support and a lot more."

See how he takes it.

Remember the rule that whoever who cares less about the relationship controls it. Right now he does because he works and keeps you at home. You said you have also let yourself go a little. So get in shape, work on yourself and take control of your marriage. If your husband remains to be insensitive, who cares because if you have done the work to improve yourself, you'll have plenty of suitors to choose from and the real loser in the end will be your husband.
 

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Something is amiss.

What happened that you no longer sleep in the same bed since your second son?

Just like SALT above asked, how sure are you that there isn't another woman already?

"You want to sleep with other women? Sure be my guest. I would like to sleep with other men too. In fact, I plan to go out tomorrow night and I want you to watch over the children. And by the way, I've already contacted a lawyer who told me that if I divorce you, I"ll be entitled for full support and a lot more."

See how he takes it.

Remember the rule that whoever who cares less about the relationship controls it. Right now he does because he works and keeps you at home. You said you have also let yourself go a little. So get in shape, work on yourself and take control of your marriage. If your husband remains to be insensitive, who cares because if you have done the work to improve yourself, you'll have plenty of suitors to choose from and the real loser in the end will be your husband.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
We no longer sleep in the same bed as our 7 month old shares our room and isn't a great sleeper so he sleeps on the couch so he is well rested for work and he always like to sleep with the TV on. If he were cheating he wouldn't be able to hide it. He's to honest of a man in that respect. We had a long talk about how we have stopped working on our marriage. We do nothing together as we don't have much help with the kids. I think he thinks because he's lost 25lb he is hot tamales. Don't get me wrong we are both attractive people. I just don't have the same body I did before 2 kids but diet can easily change that. He forgets it took me 9 months to get where I am now. Our youngest isnt even quite 7 months old. I don't want to give up as I don't think that's what you do. We has to work at it, focus on us and little by little gain the romance back. We have a great friendship just the romance is gone. I now feel like a sack of **** and worry he won't e satisfied with me.
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We no longer sleep in the same bed as our 7 month old shares our room and isn't a great sleeper so he sleeps on the couch so he is well rested for work and he always like to sleep with the TV on. If he were cheating he wouldn't be able to hide it. He's to honest of a man in that respect. We had a long talk about how we have stopped working on our marriage. We do nothing together as we don't have much help with the kids. I think he thinks because he's lost 25lb he is hot tamales. Don't get me wrong we are both attractive people. I just don't have the same body I did before 2 kids but diet can easily change that. He forgets it took me 9 months to get where I am now. Our youngest isnt even quite 7 months old. I don't want to give up as I don't think that's what you do. We has to work at it, focus on us and little by little gain the romance back. We have a great friendship just the romance is gone. I now feel like a sack of **** and worry he won't e satisfied with me.
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Put the baby in his own room and get your husband back in the bedroom.

Don't let the tv or the baby be an excuse for his isolation.

Get a babysitter and go out on dates to reconnect. You guys need alone time. Adult focused stuff.

Never assume he is too honest. Never assume he can't hide an affair. You already recognize his shift of attitude since losing weight. Take that very seriously.
 
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