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Hi all.
If you could shed some llght on my situatu
ion, I'd appreciate it. We are proud parents of a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I am lucky enough to be on paid leave for 6 more months. My husband thinks that means I do all with the kids and he kicks in when he feels like it and it should be celebrated.
When our now 3 year old was a baby, I remember one morning asking my husband if he'd get up with the baby (then 2 months) stating I was very tired. Instead of taking our baby, my husband said I should have thought harder before having a baby if I couldn't handle it. I always thought new mothers should ask for help and I do once and he made me cry like I didn't love my baby.
Recently, he jumped down my back because he didn't feel I was bathing the babies enough. Well he has bathed the 3 year old 3 times since he was born and the baby not once. When I ask for help, I get told it's my 'job' because I'm on leave from work and he isn't. He threatens to switch spots with me because he'd handle the kids better than I.
I'm a good mom. I'm patient, loving, fun. He is attentive to the kids when it suits him or when he's trying to make me look bad. He says I'm on my phone all the time (it has internet, so I'll browse when breastfeeding. If he is being texted, he's on his phone too - just not many people text him. He is either too impatient with the kids or over indulgent. Our 3 year old doesn't understand proper boundaries because depending on my husband's mood, misbehaviour either gets him freaked out on or it gets laughed at like some sort of joke. My toddler had marks that could be from my husband carrying him roughly to a time out. It could be from my baby vaulting himself out of his playpen, so I don't want to accuse yet, but I did take photos to document. If I ever say I'm tired, I get told that maybe my husband should leave and take the babies and leave if they are 'so much trouble'. It's a cop out so I'll shut up and he can do nothing.
I don't think I'm post partum depressed as I have total joy around everyone but my husband. I'm not totally overwhelmed with babies and my sleep is decent. I'm just hurt and tired of being told how much he does and how it's my job and being cut down like I'm not handling the babies well and other mothers do so much better! With all that you've read what would you do?
 

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Hi all.
If you could shed some llght on my situatu
ion, I'd appreciate it. We are proud parents of a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I am lucky enough to be on paid leave for 6 more months. My husband thinks that means I do all with the kids and he kicks in when he feels like it and it should be celebrated.
When our now 3 year old was a baby, I remember one morning asking my husband if he'd get up with the baby (then 2 months) stating I was very tired. Instead of taking our baby, my husband said I should have thought harder before having a baby if I couldn't handle it. I always thought new mothers should ask for help and I do once and he made me cry like I didn't love my baby.
Recently, he jumped down my back because he didn't feel I was bathing the babies enough. Well he has bathed the 3 year old 3 times since he was born and the baby not once. When I ask for help, I get told it's my 'job' because I'm on leave from work and he isn't. He threatens to switch spots with me because he'd handle the kids better than I.
I'm a good mom. I'm patient, loving, fun. He is attentive to the kids when it suits him or when he's trying to make me look bad. He says I'm on my phone all the time (it has internet, so I'll browse when breastfeeding. If he is being texted, he's on his phone too - just not many people text him. He is either too impatient with the kids or over indulgent. Our 3 year old doesn't understand proper boundaries because depending on my husband's mood, misbehaviour either gets him freaked out on or it gets laughed at like some sort of joke. My toddler had marks that could be from my husband carrying him roughly to a time out. It could be from my baby vaulting himself out of his playpen, so I don't want to accuse yet, but I did take photos to document. If I ever say I'm tired, I get told that maybe my husband should leave and take the babies and leave if they are 'so much trouble'. It's a cop out so I'll shut up and he can do nothing.
I don't think I'm post partum depressed as I have total joy around everyone but my husband. I'm not totally overwhelmed with babies and my sleep is decent. I'm just hurt and tired of being told how much he does and how it's my job and being cut down like I'm not handling the babies well and other mothers do so much better! With all that you've read what would you do?
Well firstly, asking for help does not make you a bad mom. We all need help. Are there friends, aunts or grandparents who can pitch in to help you once in awhile? What if you just asked your husband to do certain tasks? I feel for you! My babies are same age and they are a lot of work! Regarding the bruising - is your husband abusive? Do you feel he hurt your baby or an accident? You don't want to accuse of abuse if the baby did it monkeying around - but if your H did it you HAVE to protect your child. I would be on high alert for future and if you ever see rough behaviour or abuse - deal with situation all the way through to protect your kids! Best of luck to you!
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Wow! I'm sorry but what a jerk!
You took 6 months off, that doesn't mean that you don't work 24/7 vs. him working 40 hours a week! I would remind him of that. Do a 9-5 and see how he likes it.
 
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