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I'm a 41 year old female. I met my husband 4 years ago. 3 months after we met, he lost his temper at work and lost his decently paying job. I was working making decent money with acompany that supplied us a free place to live so he moved in with me after he lost his job. ONE YEAR LATER after he still wasn't employed, I did some (actually A LOT) of research and started a Etsy business that I ended up running because he wasn't very good at it. A few months after we started the business, we decided to do another Etsy store that he was more comfortable with...all the while, I still worked my job and my Etsy store and lived in our free apt. April 2011, I lost that job with the free apt (downsizing) and so we moved into a rentable apartment and rented a studio big enough to fit all of our equipment in and I worked non stop to promote our stores instead of searching for another company to work for. We kicked butt in sales in 2011! Things were going so good but a week ago, my husband did something stupid, lost his temper again and got all of our stores (we ended up having 5 Etsy stores) permanetly thrown off of Etsy. So...now, we are screwed. It takes a long time to accumulate customers, reputation, and just the listings themselves take a huge amount of your time. So...I had already developed a website that we are loading up with listings (we have like 2000 items) but sales are in the toilet because no one knows about us yet. We have two car payments, a rent payment for our studio AND our home, life insurance..the norm and he's not wanting to budge. He believes that I can keep promoting (like I did last April when I lost my job) and we will be fine. He doesn't understand that until then...we have bills to pay. I think we will never again make the money we did in 2011 if we are not on Etsy so I think he should go out and find a job until we can accumulate some accounts and I can get us back to where we need to be. Since he's not computer literate, he's useless in the studio. I can have an immediate turn around for the products and spend my days promoting while he's bringing in a solid income. The other stipulation we are having is moving out of the apartment AND the studio, moving into a slightly bigger home (4 bedroom) so I can turn one of the bedrooms into a studio and do all my work from home. That way...we can get rid of the 2nd car. That alone would save us $1000 per month..the car and studio payment and extra money on gas and insurance.
I feel like I'm the one who works (not that he's lazy) and I feel like it's time for him to step up to the plate. It's all my credit riding on this.
 

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It kind of worrying about putting a bandaid on a papercut when you have a gaping bullet wound to the chest. Yes you need to sort finances, but before your husband blows it a third time, he needs to either stay 1000 percent uninvolved or get anger management.
What's an Etsy store?
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etsy.com is handmade market place kind of like ebay. He's actually not an "angry" person...you know the ones you typically think of where he blows up. He just thinks that it's ok to tell people what he thinks even it means it will hurt business. He got angry at another seller who has copied our product and used even our descriptions in her listings. So...he got his brother in law to purch
ase some things from her store and left her negative feedback...lots of it so Etsy found out about it and kicked us off. This is the 2nd time he's done this to this same competitor. The first time, they just gave us a warning.
 

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You are stuck in your own mindset. If he won't go get a job, then that means you have to get one. Of course, you don't have to except I expect you enjoy being able to eat. You cannot MAKE him do anything, and neither can we here on this forum. If you want validation then okay, you are right to say he should get a job. But he won't. So now what do you want us to do? You can sit there on your own laurels and keep allowing him to drag you down the drain with him, or you can get a job to stay afloat while building up your business again. You did it once, you can do it twice, and thrice if that's what it takes. Personally, I'd kick the guy out and make it on my own, rather than keeping him around to screw up my life and everything I worked for the next time he feels like it. There is something wrong with he who never learns from his mistakes. You defend him to say he does not have anger issues, but he does, and you need to stop living in denial along with him. Good grief, he lost one job for losing his temper. He lost his temper again and received a warning. Then, he ignored the warning to do the exact same thing all over again. What do you call that???

All you are doing here is asking people to agree with you, but all the lopsided logic in the world won't get the bills paid. If he refuses to get a job, then obviously you have to. You can, of course, keep saying he's the one who should go out and get one. You can keep saying it all you want.
 

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I've heard that Etsy is kind of notorious for allowing reselling of mass purchased Chinese-produced items and even blatant theft of other people's work without thinking much about it. Given that the crux of this whole issue was essentially artistic infringement, I think the proper course of action would have been contacting a lawyer.

I mean ultimately - if that's the way they are going to treat you rather than investigate the situation, would you really want to continue to give them money (meaning Esty?)

As for your husband, I think you need to face getting a "regular" job first. I agree with posters above, you need to eat and pay the bills. And - apparently he's either unwilling or able to do so at the moment.

Once you are more financially secure, you need to address his issue. Which off-hand I'd say is some kind of social adjustment problem. His aggressiveness (whether anger or not) when dealing with problems is going to be a long-time burden on your financial and yes perhaps martial success.

Why exactly does he say when you bring up him getting a job?
 

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He showed you who he was 3 months into meeting him, and you just stuck with him. Why is his continuation of his behavior pattern sudenly a problem?
 
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