Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
146 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, I'm a bit confused....

Whilst hubby doesn't mind me having a drink of wine or two, he hates it if I have too many because I get inebriated, have to be reminded of what I said/did next morning, and sometimes I get annoyed and angry with him.

So..... the kids have gone out tonight. We have known this for a while and knew we would have to make an 11pm (not that late I know) trip out (8 mile round trip) to pick them up from a house party. Because I'd agreed to it without mentioning it to hubby first (he's always at work) I was fully prepared to be on non alcoholic drinks this evening so I could take/fetch them.

However, we went out for a meal (as usual for a Sat evening) and he bought me wine, saying he would do the driving to take them to/from their house party. He's Mr Grumpy anyway because he has a man cold. But, if he's so averse to me drinking, he seems to be encouraging me??
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
975 Posts
One problem with married women is getting the good inebriation/buzz and avoiding the bad. The good is someone in a fun, relaxed mood, and sexually adventurous. The bad is being uninhibited in the sense of now being free to talk about husband not making enough money, house is not fancy enough, mother in law is a pain in the __. For many husbands, the question is how to get the good and reduce the bad.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,668 Posts
Set yourself a two drink maximum. Nurse the drinks.
Do not order doubles or huge glass fulls.

Do this and you will have a much better chance at a happy marriage.

Your husband loves you and wants you to be able to drink in moderation. He is probably going to be more flexible if he is the one who is driving you home. That should not have to be explained to anyone of drinking age why that would be.

If you cannot do this you have a problem you need to address for your own good and for sure your marriage.

I like to drink but I know my limitations. If my wife said I drank too much, I would back way off. If I could not I would prove to myself I had a problem.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,949 Posts
It sounds to me like he wanted you to enjoy a glass of wine with your dinner. If you didn't want to drink anything and wanted to keep your commitment to collecting the kids, you could have refused it and stuck to non-alcoholic. I'm sure you're aware but as a reminder, if you want to stay sober, sip water between drinks and set yourself a cut-off of 2 drinks. If I start feeling the wine buzz and want to stay sober, I'll order a tea (black/green or peppermint).

His request sounds reasonable - enjoy a glass or two but keep it in check so your behavior doesn't get ugly. If you're angry at him or have resentment, maybe it needs to be dealt with soberly. I personally have a self-imposed rule that means if I plan on driving, I won't even have one drink. Even though I might feel sober after one glass of wine, I've always had this rule for myself. It was nice that he offered to collect the kids even though he had the flu.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,156 Posts
It sounds like he wants you to be moderate in your drinking which is reasonable as an adult.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,138 Posts
I think what your husband is asking is perfectly reasonable.

If my spouse drank to the point that he couldn't remember what he did, I would be very concerned! Any loving spouse would be. Honestly, you might want to consider that you have a drinking problem. I can handle a drink or two, but I never get so wasted drunk that I blackout about what I said the night before. It's also a safety issue for you. You never want to be so out of it that you don't compromise your safety.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,004 Posts
My wife has had the same problem with alcohol since we married.

I don't mind her having a drink or two, but the problem is that she can not seem to stop once she gets started. For that reason, we have a "no alcohol" if I am not with her policy.

She will tell me that she is not drunk, I'm fine, don't worry - right up to the time she passes out.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,520 Posts
If you have trouble stopping once you start then don't take the first drink. People that don't have trouble with this do not understand why we can't stop. Never let them talk you into the first drink. It's worked for me the vast majority of my lifetime. The short period where I did drink I saw how dangerous it was for me so I just decided not to drink at all. Personally I thought AA or any other program was stupid for me. What's so hard about not drinking. Duh.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
261 Posts
Perfectly reasonable. My wife and I had(HAD) a rule that we don't drink around the opposite sex. She gets flirty with everyone(including me, haha) when she goes past her limit. When we would drink alone, she would get really mean towards me. Other times it would be really fun.That was a problem for me. Another reason was the fact that she would drink so much I would have do everything the next day. Several times she went out with friends and came back 3-4 hours later than she said she would, puking.
Definite reasons why things got were bad and went bad.
She hasn't drank around me in quite some time, but she goes out on her own.

Rebuilding of trust made it better. I let her do her own thing now, but she's better about things now.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top