[stay-at-home-wife]

eta: To explain what I find it was unecessary was the Power of Attorney.
He has me as Joint on all his financial accounts and beneficiaries and my name on everything, but also give me the Power of Attorney to all his financial and medical decision, as in I been signing everything financially for him because he gives me the Power of Attorney to, sign on his behalf and make financial decision on his behalf. Necessary? At his age of 38.

No, I'm not talking about beneficiary when he die, I'm talking about Power of Attorney once he grant me that power it go immediately into effect as soon as he signed the POA, even when he alive, he gives me the power to act on his behalf. Power of Attorney he doesn't need to be dead like beneficiary.

---------
Sorry, both me and my husband we not Americans/westerns, so forgive me for English not my native language.

I loss both my parents (dad died of Alzheimer, mom died of stroke). My husband also loss his father, and his older sister died from drunk driver crash into her car. So we both know death is uncertain, anything can happen to one of us. But there one thing I not understand him, I don't know if he just being over protective of me or he just doing more than what needed/what necessary. We Long term married, decade long, we both same age.

Husband work in Petroleum-chemical process plant work with corrosive Hydrofluoric Acid for 15 years experience already (I did have a thread up where I worry about his health long term). He does makes good income, 130K a year take home (after tax). He very responsible with money, he debt-free, no debt of any kind, his house he bought when it was newly built paid in cash with his savings, so he doesn't even have mortgage. He also has another house he let his mom live in for free, no mortgage in this house either. Both houses he put my name on there with his.

All his bank accounts, from checking to multiple Savings accounts are he put my name as Joint on there, so I have equal rights and access as him. All his 401k and IRAs, he has multiple IRAs and yes, all of it he has me as the beneficiary, retirement pension plan I'm on there. He also has a Life insurance policy and I'm also the beneficiary.

But when we get married (and decade long), beside put me as "Joint" on all his bank accounts. He adamant on give me half of his income put in a separate bank account under my name ONLY, every paychecks of his is 50% of his 130K take home yearly income he deposit to a separate bank account under my name ONLY. He debt free, so he can afford give me half of his income, and it his insists.

I keep tell him it not needed, because he already as Joint on all his bank accounts already, so why need a separate account under my name only just to give me 50% of his income go in there every time he get pay. So married decade long to him, I have 50% of his income in a bank under my name only, as his insists. I don't get it, I know he said he appreciate me be his wife and want me to have money to myself, BUT everything of his is in my name too as JOINT already, what difference does it make?

And this is I don't get, he is 38 years old, he not old. And he gives me the Power of Attorney to all his financial, including I sign everything financially on his behalf, just give them this Power of Attorney copy, he name me. I'm the only name on there. He also gives me the power to his Health care directive, I can make medical decision for him too. Both financial and medical power.

I get it I do, has me as Joint and beneficiaries on his everything is needed. But give me the Power of Attorney to everything financial of his including sign everything for him, and give me the power to make medical decision for him. I know he loves me, and I know I should roll and do roll with it as it make him happy. But at his age 38, it is necessary?

 

[Jimi007]

He just looking ahead. It's a good thing.

 

[MJJEAN]

He is being smart.

If there is ever a lawsuit, garnishment, or fraud, having a separate account in your name could be the difference between having money to pay bills and eat or not having money.

Age does not make a person death proof, as you know. My son drowned at 18. My mother died of sudden heart failure at 44. And industrial accidents happen. Sometimes, for various reasons, even joint accounts get frozen. What he is doing is making sure you have funds in case.He's a good guy taking care of his wife.

 

[D0nnivain]

He thinks it's necessary. If you don't, just spend the money in the account only in your name on things for the household.

I don't see a problem here. I see a generous husband who is planning for your future.

 

[Mr.Married]

It’s difficult to understand what your “problem” is. You can sign it all over to me if that fixes it for you. 😈

 

[stay-at-home-wife]

I didn't say it a problem, I said in my OP and ask if it was "necessary" as he only 38.

I think he doing more than necessary. He makes 130K a year take home, and 50% of that 130K he put in a bank separate under my name only. But I don't see the needs, as everything in the bank is under Joint, he has my name on everything together with his. Plus he is my husband, what difference it is in his money or mine.

When he gives the banks a copy of the Power of Attorney the bank said it not necessary as my name on Joint on all his bank accounts, because the banks said as "Joint" I have equal access to it just as him since two names on the account. He told the bank he gives me the power to sign on his behalf too, so anything financially they can just find me to get the signature, as he name me on the Power of Attorney.

Tbh, financially, I literally sign on his behalf due to this Power of Attorney he gives me the power to. Omg, my husband is 38, he can sign for himself financially, why give me the power to sign on his behalf?
As for medical decision this I get, if anything suddenly happen to him I can make medical decision for him, this I agreed, but the "Financial Power of Attorney", I just think it was not necessary, same with him give me 50% of his income since we married, and we long term married, decade long.

I do wish he can retire early (as we both debt free), and we can go live in the countryside, get away from the heart of the city (we live in Texas). But I understand him, he takes pride in being the 100% provider for me, I know he won't listen and retire early, plus he loves his jobs, or else he won't work in the same job field for 15 years.

 

[Diana7]

His sister died in a car crash, he knows that things can happen any time and he wants to look after you. You should be celebrating the fact that you have such a caring husband.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

I didn't say it a problem, I said in my OP and ask if it was "necessary" as he only 38.

I think he doing more than necessary. He makes 130K a year take home, and 50% of that 130K he put in a bank separate under my name only. But I don't see the needs, as everything in the bank is under Joint, he has my name on everything together with his. Plus he is my husband, what difference it is in his money or mine.

When he gives the banks a copy of the Power of Attorney the bank said it not necessary as my name on Joint on all his bank accounts, because the banks said as "Joint" I have equal access to it just as him since two names on the account. He told the bank he gives me the power to sign on his behalf too, so anything financially they can just find me to get the signature, as he name me on the Power of Attorney.

Tbh, financially, I literally sign on his behalf due to this Power of Attorney he gives me the power to. Omg, my husband is 38, he can sign for himself financially, why give me the power to sign on his behalf?
As for medical decision this I get, if anything suddenly happen to him I can make medical decision for him, this I agreed, but the "Financial Power of Attorney", I just think it was not necessary, same with him give me 50% of his income since we married, and we long term married, decade long.

I do wish he can retire early (as we both debt free), and we can go live in the countryside, get away from the heart of the city (we live in Texas). But I understand him, he takes pride in being the 100% provider for me, I know he won't listen and retire early, plus he loves his jobs, or else he won't work in the same job field for 15 years.

I think your husband is just following through with his plans of doing what he thinks is best for you and his family. It doesn't seem like he is doing anything extreme. You should be happy to be married to a man that appears to put his family first and is planning for the unforeseen even at the young age of 38. We don't do it exactly the same, but we do have everything shared. All of our finances are either comingled or we have access to each others accounts. We didn't go the route of a POA since it is fairly easy to give a spouse access to everything.

 

[Jimmysgirl]

He clearly trusts you beyond measure, cares for you deeply and wants to make sure his assets are where he wants them to be in the event of his passing. He works a dangerous job and I'm sure that makes him even more vigilant. Is it more than necessary, sure, but it's what he wants and there are no downsides so be thankful that he is so invested in you and go about your merry way. Since the money in your account is "extra" maybe think about investing it or surprise him with a little getaway or something else that says "I care about you an awful lot too and I sure do appreciate you". Sounds to me like you're a very lucky girl and not because of the money.

 

[Julie's Husband]

Sorry, both me and my husband we not Americans/westerns, so forgive me for English not my native language.

He has me as Joint on all his financial accounts and my name on everything, and give me Power of Attorney to all his financial and medical decission. Necessary?

I loss both my parents (dad died of Alzheimer, mom died of stroke). My husband also loss his father, and his older sister died from drunk driver crash into her car. So we both know death is uncertain, anything can happen to one of us. But there one thing I not understand him, I don't know if he just being over protective of me or he just doing more than what needed/what necessary. We Long term married, decade long, we both same age.

Husband work in Petroleum-chemical process plant work with corrosive Hydrofluoric Acid for 15 years experience already (I did have a thread up where I worry about his health long term). He does makes good income, 130K a year take home (after tax). He very responsible with money, he debt-free, no debt of any kind, his house he bought when it was newly built paid in cash with his savings, so he doesn't even have mortgage. He also has another house he let his mom live in for free, no mortgage in this house either. Both houses he put my name on there with his.

All his bank accounts, from checking to multiple Savings accounts are he put my name as Joint on there, so I have equal rights and access as him. All his 401k and IRAs, he has multiple IRAs and yes, all of it he has me as the beneficiary, retirement pension plan I'm on there. He also has a Life insurance policy and I'm also the beneficiary.

But when we get married (and decade long), beside put me as "Joint" on all his bank accounts. He adamant on give me half of his income put in a separate bank account under my name ONLY, every paychecks of his is 50% of his 130K take home yearly income he deposit to a separate bank account under my name ONLY. He debt free, so he can afford give me half of his income, and it his insists.

I keep tell him it not needed, because he already as Joint on all his bank accounts already, so why need a separate account under my name only just to give me 50% of his income go in there every time he get pay. So married decade long to him, I have 50% of his income in a bank under my name only, as his insists. I don't get it, I know he said he appreciate me be his wife and want me to have money to myself, BUT everything of his is in my name too as JOINT already, what difference does it make?

And this is I don't get, he is 38 years old, he not old. And he gives me the Power of Attorney to all his financial, including I sign everything financially on his behalf, just give them this Power of Attorney copy, he name me. I'm the only name on there. He also gives me the power to his Health care directive, I can make medical decision for him too. Both financial and medical power.

I get it I do, has me as Joint and beneficiaries on his everything is needed. But give me the Power of Attorney to everything financial of his including sign everything for him, and give me the power to make medical decision for him. I know he loves me, and I know I should roll and do roll with it as it make him happy. But at his age 38, it is necessary?

No problem. Be happy. My wife and I are joint on everything since age 30 and 32 when we got married. We are on each other's Advance Directive, wills.

 

[Lostinthought61]

The short answer is yes it's necessary, to many young people carry on their lives with little or no regards to accidents or medical issues arise and often times it's too late and their estate becomes a problem to resolve through the courts, be grateful you are married to a man who is financially responsible and cares what happens to you if he should go before you....there are no guarantees of tomorrows for any of us.

 

[Bullfrog1987]

Yes it’s necessary. There are far too many people living in this world like they aren’t going to die or won’t be involved in a tragedy.

 

[Relentless1]

It sounds like he truly loves you and wants to make sure that you don't have anything to worry about if something were to happen to him. Perhaps this is how he shows his love? Maybe not with flowers and whatnot, but by giving you the ability to walk away (half the salary) and have control (your name on everything, power of attorney, everything) he shows you how much he loves you and trusts you. If your husband is the type to like to be in the driver's seat in the relationship, I imagine that is no small thing for him. You're a lucky lady.

 

[stay-at-home-wife]

in the event of his passing. He works a dangerous job and I'm sure that makes him even more vigilant. Is it more than necessary, sure, but it's what he wants and there are no downsides so be thankful that he is so invested in you and go about your merry way.

I speak 3 languages and 4 dialects, English I'm not good at so I have a hard time explain myself.

My point here is I agreed 100% he has me on everything as JOINT and beneficiary is necessary, that was not my argument.

Beneficiary is when he die.
Power of Attorney is different here: [ A power of attorney is a legal document that allows someone else to act on your behalf. ] The minute he sign this Power of Attorney give me the power to take care of his financial and sign on his behalf, it take effect immediately even when he still alive, unless he provoke it.

And the POA was done in front of his lawyer too, his lawyer witnessed and notarized. And it go into affective right away unless he provoke it (which he has all the rights to).

This is why I didn't think it was necessary, he 38 and still healthy and breathing, he doesn't need me to 'act on his behalf'.

Also the 50% of his income he adamant want to give me and put in a separate bank account under my name only, I just don't get it. Like the banks said, I am JOINT meaning I have equal access to all the money at anytime. Why not just open another Joint saving account, and put it in there with both our names. After all it his working money, since I'm a housewife.

He is the beneficary on it, the account where he gives me 50% of his income, because in event I die, he the beneficary the money will pay to him (if I die). But for the "name" on the account, I am the only name on there, it Not joint at all. I'm the sole owner, with him as the beneficiary.

That what he wants. And I roll with it. And I don't want to argue with him about this so I vent on here as I see it unnecessary. Asked him many times, and I get same answer, he loves me so he dotes on me and he not see anything wrong with it. So I stop ask, as I know it won't change his mind.

My point is a man age 38, healthy, clear minded, make 130K a year after tax at his work is someone who clear minded here or else no company will pay him this amount. He does not need me to acts of his behalf hence the Power of Attorney.

------------
Anyways Miss. He doesn't get it, I don't need these material stuff. I'm frugal, penny pinching even, I coupons even if it .25 cents coupons. Gifts and material I literally score ZERO on the Love language test, it not what I need. I took the damn test so I know what my love language is.

What I want is he retire early, and we sale the house we live in (which is right in the heart of the city),
and will sale the house he let his mom live in too once she pass away (she old, she has him late in life),
and I want him to buy a smaller house in the countryside, get away from the city. But that is just what I want.

It won't work, I don't think he want to retire early, nor want to live in the countryside, if he does it, it will just be do it for me, not out of his willing.

His love language is Acts of Service. Mine is Words of Affirmation.
He intense, must be those Scorpio planets in his birth chart (astrology thing), he has a Stellium of planets in the sign Scorpio in his chart.
While me, I'm Gemini, me the Gemini need words, and he not good with words, it just his brain as a man is just not wired like me, I'm wordy, he not.

I want to post a thread about Love Languages, if I post it, hope you can come to share about yours and your husband.

 

[Diana7]

I speak 3 languages and 4 dialects, English I'm not good at so I have a hard time explain myself.

My point here is I agreed 100% he has me on everything as JOINT and beneficiary is necessary, that was not my argument.

Beneficiary is when he die.
Power of Attorney is different here: [ A power of attorney is a legal document that allows someone else to act on your behalf. ] The minute he sign this Power of Attorney give me the power to take care of his financial and sign on his behalf, it take effect immediately even when he still alive, unless he provoke it.

And the POA was done in front of his lawyer too, his lawyer witnessed and notarized. And it go into affective right away unless he provoke it (which he has all the rights to).

This is why I didn't think it was necessary, he 38 and still healthy and breathing, he doesn't need me to 'act on his behalf'.

Also the 50% of his income he adamant want to give me and put in a separate bank account under my name only, I just don't get it. Like the banks said, I am JOINT meaning I have equal access to all the money at anytime. Why not just open another Joint saving account, and put it in there with both our names. After all it his working money, since I'm a housewife.

He is the beneficary on it, the account where he gives me 50% of his income, because in event I die, he the beneficary the money will pay to him (if I die). But for the "name" on the account, I am the only name on there, it Not joint at all. I'm the sole owner, with him as the beneficiary.

That what he wants. And I roll with it. And I don't want to argue with him about this so I vent on here as I see it unnecessary. Asked him many times, and I get same answer, he loves me so he dotes on me and he not see anything wrong with it. So I stop ask, as I know it won't change his mind.

My point is a man age 38, healthy, clear minded, make 130K a year after tax at his work is someone who clear minded here or else no company will pay him this amount. He does not need me to acts of his behalf hence the Power of Attorney.

------------
Anyways Miss. He doesn't get it, I don't need these material stuff. I'm frugal, penny pinching even, I coupons even if it .25 cents coupons. Gifts and material I literally score ZERO on the Love language test, it not what I need. I took the damn test so I know what my love language is.

What I want is he retire early, and we sale the house we live in (which is right in the heart of the city),
and will sale the house he let his mom live in too once she pass away (she old, she has him late in life),
and I want him to buy a smaller house in the countryside, get away from the city. But that is just what I want.

It won't work, I don't think he want to retire early, nor want to live in the countryside, if he does it, it will just be do it for me, not out of his willing.

His love language is Acts of Service. Mine is Words of Affirmation.
He intense, must be those Scorpio planets in his birth chart (astrology thing), he has a Stellium of planets in the sign Scorpio in his chart.
While me, I'm Gemini, me the Gemini need words, and he not good with words, it just his brain as a man is just not wired like me, I'm wordy, he not.

I want to post a thread about Love Languages, if I post it, hope you can come to share about yours and your husband.

His own sister died in a car accident so of course he is going to be more aware of his own mortality. I honestly don't understand why it's such an issue for you. No one knows what is round the corner.

 

[gameopoly5]

Sorry, both me and my husband we not Americans/westerns, so forgive me for English not my native language.

He has me as Joint on all his financial accounts and my name on everything, and give me Power of Attorney to all his financial and medical decission. Necessary?

I loss both my parents (dad died of Alzheimer, mom died of stroke). My husband also loss his father, and his older sister died from drunk driver crash into her car. So we both know death is uncertain, anything can happen to one of us. But there one thing I not understand him, I don't know if he just being over protective of me or he just doing more than what needed/what necessary. We Long term married, decade long, we both same age.

Husband work in Petroleum-chemical process plant work with corrosive Hydrofluoric Acid for 15 years experience already (I did have a thread up where I worry about his health long term). He does makes good income, 130K a year take home (after tax). He very responsible with money, he debt-free, no debt of any kind, his house he bought when it was newly built paid in cash with his savings, so he doesn't even have mortgage. He also has another house he let his mom live in for free, no mortgage in this house either. Both houses he put my name on there with his.

All his bank accounts, from checking to multiple Savings accounts are he put my name as Joint on there, so I have equal rights and access as him. All his 401k and IRAs, he has multiple IRAs and yes, all of it he has me as the beneficiary, retirement pension plan I'm on there. He also has a Life insurance policy and I'm also the beneficiary.

But when we get married (and decade long), beside put me as "Joint" on all his bank accounts. He adamant on give me half of his income put in a separate bank account under my name ONLY, every paychecks of his is 50% of his 130K take home yearly income he deposit to a separate bank account under my name ONLY. He debt free, so he can afford give me half of his income, and it his insists.

I keep tell him it not needed, because he already as Joint on all his bank accounts already, so why need a separate account under my name only just to give me 50% of his income go in there every time he get pay. So married decade long to him, I have 50% of his income in a bank under my name only, as his insists. I don't get it, I know he said he appreciate me be his wife and want me to have money to myself, BUT everything of his is in my name too as JOINT already, what difference does it make?

And this is I don't get, he is 38 years old, he not old. And he gives me the Power of Attorney to all his financial, including I sign everything financially on his behalf, just give them this Power of Attorney copy, he name me. I'm the only name on there. He also gives me the power to his Health care directive, I can make medical decision for him too. Both financial and medical power.

I get it I do, has me as Joint and beneficiaries on his everything is needed. But give me the Power of Attorney to everything financial of his including sign everything for him, and give me the power to make medical decision for him. I know he loves me, and I know I should roll and do roll with it as it make him happy. But at his age 38, it is necessary?

It`s not necessary but I`m sure this is many wife`s idea of a perfect husband.
Your husband has done this because he believes you`ll be together for the remainder of your lives.
So does this make you feel uncomfortable that morally you should roll and do roll with it as it makes him happy and makes you feel tied to him and not so independent? Because you have not mentioned this makes you happy. You also said, your husband loves you, but do you love him equally?
If you have all intentions of staying with your husband forever than having joint assets and finances should not be a problem, regardless who`s money it is.

 

[Enigmatic]

By the time a person can't act for themselves, they will not be able to sign a POA. So he is putting it in place now so that, when/if that time comes, you will be able to act on his behalf.

And even though you have joint bank accounts, etc., there could be other financial matters that you need to sign for - if you need to sell or acquire an asset, sign a contract for nursing care, for example -- which is where the POA comes in.

 

[Texican]

ms gamboolgal and I did the same thing many years / decades ago.

Your husband is wise.