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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a 32-year-old single mom of three. I've been going through a lot of the same things as most of you for the past 4 months (that I'm aware of). He cheated on me nearly 3 years ago & I found out by listening to voice mails on his cell phone. One night he was out with some friends and never came home. When I woke the next morning I called him and he admitted he stayed a hotel (with a party) but that nothing happened with anyone. Luckily the other woman lived in a different state (about 6 hours away) so the physical contact was limited. However, he recently started hiding his cell phone, silencing the ringer, etc. He even cancelled the voice mail on his cell phone so no one could leave messages for me to hear. He has moved out now & says he is seeing several different people at this time & isn't looking for a committment right now (needs space thing). I cannot put into words the devestation & pain I'm in knowing he cares this little for me. We were together nearly 6 years & I've never loved anyone the way I love him. The counselor I've been seeing has made it very clear to me that I am the poster child for co-dependency :slap: which I believe. I felt like he was the string that holds my entire life together, and now that it's been cut, everything has come crashing down. Over the last year I've lost nearly 50 lbs (which could be a plus I guess). I can hardly get out of bed, my teenagers cook for themselves & I'm making mistakes at work. The worst part is that I should have known better! He was just coming out of a relationship when I met him. "If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you." I think at this point I'm getting mad at myself, more then anything else, because I still want him & miss him terribly! How stupid can I be!!!
 

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Of course you still want him and miss him. You've been with him for years and are emotionally bonded and dependent on him. Love changes the chemicals in our brains so that we naturally become obsessed with the loved one (so that nature gets us to stay together to raise a child). Even when things go well we act a little crazy and when we are abandoned it is naturally devastating.

Be kinder to yourself. It is like getting over an illness so give yourself time to grieve and recover. You might find the following link some help:
Ultimate Self (realizing personal potential) | Letting go
 

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How very awful! It isn't your fault and you can't blame yourself. I have been where you are now and it is very scary! Please seek counseling or a friend to talk to. I am still having a difficult time with my own situation, but I am trying to focus my energy on myself and my daughter now. It's the only way I know to get rid of the feelings of dread and hurt, even if it is only temporary. I was told that if you practice something enough it becomes part of you. I hope that you find peace and strength!
 

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I am so sorry he is a major jerk! I hope things can come together for you, because YOU and your kids deserve much better!
 

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I just wanted to say hang in there girl. It gets better each day, just remember to say to your self each and everyday that you are a good person and deserve love and to never settle. Remember to smile. :)

Cyber hug to you sounds like you need one, hell I need one too.
 
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