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My partner when we have sex (which is rarely anyway) will not use a condom.

I am not keen on the female pill or other intrusive or chemical types so I have asked him to use a condom.

He tried once but he lost his erection quite soon afterwards and so we use the withdrawal method. I don't find it satisfactory becasue it feels incomplete sex as he has to orgasm outside of me.

This upsets me a great deal. I have told him this but he says it is fine for him and he has always used this method with his previous girlfriends. The thing is he doesn't want any children and I am putting myself at risk of pregnancy becasue it is very unsafe method. I have told him this and he says he will stand by me if I need an abortion.

This upsets me a great deal. I have asked if he will consider a vasectomy but he says he does not want to go through the pain or humiliation of this.

So I am always to have sex like this and it still feels like we do not really finish making love properly with this method.
 

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condoms are really crappy and I for one have a really hard time orgasming with one on.

one thing that has helped it to put some lube on before the condom then its harder to tell you have one on.

you could also give him oral and then you could put it on for him he might not lose his erection that way and if he starts to go down you could stimulate him with you hand/mouth until hes up again.

or go anal not much chance of getting knocked up that way.
 

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I'm curious about why you don't like other birth control methods. Nothing wrong with not liking them, I'm just curious as to why. Also, if you don't like the risks with withdrawal, then you know what your alternatives are: condom or sterilization. Or... not having sex at all. I assume the last is not an option. So, you need to have a frank discussion with your boyfriend about this. And don't do something you're not "keen on". You need to come up with something that works for both, not just one.
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You don't want to use 'chemical or intrusive' solutions and yet you want your boyfriend to consider a vasectomy? That's a rather 'intrusive' procedure I think (albeit of a different nature but alas).
 

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Get a new boyfriend... seriously.

I have a few nephews who are the result of pulling out. I had a pregnancy from it as well.
 

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I'd get a new boyfriend. Sounds like a real special guy you got there.

He's okay with anything that doesn't have to do with him personally. BC for you, no problem. Abortion, no problem. Condom, asking way to much. Vasectomy, well I wouldn't stay with him, so I wouldn't bother even bringing that up.
 

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Personally, I would prefer no sex to sex with a condom. I suppose condoms have their place. But not for me, at least not in a committed relationship. Obviously lots of people have different views and for the couples who don't mind them, I respect your choice. I just wouldn't make that same choice myself. There are lots of options that don't involve putting something between my wife and me.
 
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Tbh I think neither of them is taking BC serious. Sure it's very stupid of the guy that 'supporting when you need abortion' is anything but a valid answer when it comes to BC but I don't see the OP is considering everything that's available. At least a proper explanation of what types of BC like pill or IUD's are unacceptable and not the label 'chemical' as everything is chemical even the friggin latex condom you put on your penis.
 

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I'd like the OP to explain why she's staying with this guy. Other than for 'love.'

Dude sounds like a jerk, I suspect she's not very old.
 

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Are your feelings of sexual fulfilment more important than the life of a child you risk creating ????? Please. The child you risk creating is the one who suffers the most here.
 
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