Last year, around May 2011, one night my husband's cell was blinking. He had fallen asleep without putting under his pillow like he normally does(I had always felt a little uncomfortable with how closely he clung to his phone). I thought that it was disturbing that he was getting a text this late so I picked it up and looked at the alert(something I often wish I could take back). At first I just thought maybe he was receiving spam text messages. But when I began to look further I discovered the most sexually explicit exchanges between him and some female whom I have never met. What popped up were very disgusting pictures of a woman's body parts. I think the texts hurt me more than the pictures. He sent her messages stating "is that all mine?" (referring to her body parts). Some of the text messages between their sexual ones were of him checking in to make sure she was okay and if he had offended her. Saying things like are we still cool. One of his text messages were of him saying he would be by after work(this one really hit me hard). I was thinking this could not be from my husband. He was rarely late coming home from work (but this fact did not completely console me because his job is so flexible that he could get off at any given time and it not affect his pay). This is the person who I have shared some of the best years of my life with. The man who came home every day and gave me a kiss or hug and played around with the kids. How could this be happening? I felt like those messages were sent by a complete stranger. I had looked at those messages for what felt like an hour because I was in such disbelief. Then I began to weep uncontrollably. I was so hurt that I got sick to my stomach. He heard me and got up. I immediately confronted him about it. All he could say was he was sorry over and over again. It was as if he was "trying" to look remorseful rather than actually being remorseful. I asked who it was and he told me it was someone he had met at a previous job(which he had left over 4 years from that day). I asked had this been going on for all that time and he said no that he had run into her a few months prior and they exchanged numbers. He said it started off as innocent flirting but before he knew it gotten out of control. I asked how far it had gotten and he said that they have never met. He said no so I asked him about the text of him saying he would stop by after work. He said it was just a part of the fantasy and that he never actually acted on it. He stated he had been feeling insecure and she made him feel like he was still sexy and desired. To this I asked "don't I make you feel that way?" and he had the nerve to reply "you're my wife, so you're supposed to show me affection.".. I could not believe this was his rationale and that he would even allow that to come out of mouth. The thing that scares me is there were no signs(at least none that I noticed) except for how closely he clung to his cell. We have since done some serious work on relationship. I decided to give him another chance. I let him know that my trust in him was tarnished by this incident and that it would take time. Initially, he would bring flowers, take me out, give massages and try to make me laugh all the time. But that all stopped after about a month or two, once he felt like I wasn't as mad about it anymore. But the truth is I still get furious about it and I cry about it when something reminds me of it. As, if I wasn't having a hard enough time getting over it, her daughter and my son were put into the same classroom in school. So we had to see her at school functions. I remember her face well because it was etched into my memory. He had made it seem like she did not live close and when I asked him about it when we got home, he acted like he did not see her there only made matters worse. We really don't talk about it anymore but I still think about it constantly, I get so angry with myself because I think I let him off too easy and that he will eventually do it again. I don't know if I should tell him that I am still not over it. I have kept this to myself, I do not have an outlet for this irritation. It is just building up. He is on a four day work-related trip right now and I cannot help but wonder if she has traveled there too. Would he be so bold. Its driving me crazy not knowing how far he went and whether he would do it again. We have two young children. I left my parents and siblings in another state to live in his hometown after we got married 10 years ago. So I do not have a support system in this area. I feel all alone with this situation because I do not want them to worry about me. I just don't know what to do.