Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a boyfriend who seems to have many different ways of showing his emotion. For instance: He gets upset when I want to do anything to benefit myself, like work out, or clean the house or something that does not directly involve him, if he wants me to lay in bed all day, this is what I am to do because this is what makes him happy, if i refuse or say i have things to do, then i am accused of not loving him. He wants me home for lunch, which in turn causes me to take a long lunch which i have to make up the hours at the end of the day, so i always leave a half hour later than scehduled time and then am asked why im late and once again accused of not loving him. But then at the same time, he drinks alot, i would say at least 5 shots a day if there is a bottle in the house and he will get angry at little things and be very dismissive to me and just plain rude. He is retired vet and suffers from ptsd as well. He smokes and says he is trying to quit also. I have a dog who he calls names all the time, says he is a retard and stupid and worthless animal, he leaves him outside for hours on end, leaves him in the garage, does not allow my dog to show affection to me when i get home, does not allow him to be in the family living quarters and interact with us at all, he must obey at all times, not pace around the house, and basically stay on his bed in the corner and not make a sound unless provoked to do so. He hits him in the face and yells at him all the time. I have a huge problem with this and this is what has caused the last argument. I asked him to stop treating my dog this way and tried to explain he is a family animal and just wants to be given positive attention. This made him drink an excessive amount and when I got home, he was stumbling and and mumbling harsh things under his breath and slamming doors in my face. He ultimately told me to understand his point of view or kick him out of the house. I told him i would not kick him out, and he decided to turn on a movie and blast the sound at midnight, i have a 1 year old sleeping and i need to get up in 5 hours, i asked him to turn it down to no avail, i ended up over reacting and taking the controllers and anything that would let the TV work. He of course followed me and would not leave the bedroom where i was trying to sleep and turned back on the TV. I gave up and went to make a bed in my car until he passed out so i could return for peaceful sleeping arrangements. This was two days ago and I have been given the silent treatment ever since. When he is in a good mood, he sings to me, cleans the house, cooks dinner and doesnt want me to lift a finger, will cuddle and watch movies together, but the dog seesm to ruin the moods. I dont understand why he is exhibiting this passive agreesive behavior and almost sounds like he has independant personality disorder due to the fact that he never wants me to leave and cater to him and only him like i have nothing else to be alive for, that i hear multiple times a day "baby... why dont you love me" to get what he wants.. he uses manipulation and guilt to control me. I just got out of a 13 year marriage where my husband cheated on my whilst i was pregnant, that took a toll on me and i am still dealing with thise feelings. So i have some trust issues and this new guy seems to be testing non stop. He has had a chick come over to my house while im at work, lied to me about it and i caught him in this lie red handed, then he was looking at porn behind my back and lying about that, then he was having conversations with his ex girl and telling her that he doesnt want to lose her for good and he still loves her. This hurt me, but guess what, it ended up in HIM giving me the silent treatment for not beleiveing that he truly loves me! Go figure.... i know this is long, but i figure details help when trying to evaluate a situation. I just want to know how to kick this silent crap, and help myself not feel so depressed and lonely when he treats me like this, and if possible, how to get him to treat my dog better. Thanks!!