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Yes but have since stopped as men don't seem to reciprocate my similar generosity. If no one is willing to settle for me then I sure as **** will not be settling for anyone.
@Lila the problem with this statement is the word “settle”.
And you used it with regards to both yourself and a future partner.
Don’t settle.
 

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Yes but have since stopped as men don't seem to reciprocate my similar generosity. If no one is willing to settle for me then I sure as **** will not be settling for anyone.
@Lila the problem with this statement is the word “settle”.
And you used it with regards to both yourself and a future partner.
Don’t settle.
I don't want to derail the thread but everyone who ends up in a relationship settles in some way. They may not do it intentionally, but no one ends up with perfect partners.
 

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"Settle" seems to be the key word! Everybody, I believe, "settles" to a certain extent!

I haven't really fancied anyone out of my league, but I've had them fancy me, for whatever reason! To which I usually don't reciprocate! The only woman I ever did that with was my RSXW, and it obviously didn't work out!

And this is coming from an old fart who, over the course of time, has developed some rather serious trust issues!

No ~ with extremely rare exception, you just cannot teach an old dog new tricks!
 

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Or what not what you would usually go for?
Granted it was a long time ago but I have had my type change when I meet someone who I cane to "fancy" over time. This was someone who I was sure wasn't my type at the beginning. I have never tried to make someone who was not type before ended up become my type, in other words you can't force it but at least for me it can change. Now after that happened that type that wasn't what I was attracted to originally became my type. I think because of the fond memories I had of the excitement of the original attraction to that person if not the person themselves.

Also there has to be some level of attraction. Like if by type you mean someone who is generally not attractive then I don't think that works. To be clear, you might not be into the blond next door type but meet someone who you click with who if you were into that type you know would be attractive and the attraction slowly grow for you.

There is a difference between you feeling someone is unattractive as opposed to them just not being your type. It's a mistake to try to get over you being personally unattracted to someone, you are only hurting them in the long run.
 

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If the definition of my type is the person who gets my motor running, I haven't. If the definition is a woman with certain qualities who I may or may not find gets my motor running, why would I?

I think the first thing I look for is attraction and that doesn't just mean a physically 'perfect'(whatever that means to each individual) woman. I can be attracted from a distance, and as soon as we start to talk lose that attraction. This happens with any number of women, no matter how physically attractive I find her.

If I believe she is out of my league, I don't even bother. Sometimes, I don't bother talking with her because I don't desire a friendship. Sometimes, that's all I desire is a bit of conversation. It doesn't matter what she looks like then, but who she is inside.

Combine attractive looks, which in my mind does not mean any type of perfection she thinks I might be looking for, and good conversation, and I'm starting to look for more. Firstly, she must be attracted to me in a way that is more than just a friend for good conversation.

No, I am too complicated to go for a woman who I don't find attractive in these ways. I might have when I was younger. I think age and life did something to me.
 

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I don't want to derail the thread but everyone who ends up in a relationship settles in some way. They may not do it intentionally, but no one ends up with perfect partners.
I take that more to be acceptance to be realistic, not settle. It's not settling to have priorities that are higher then others.
 

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I don't want to derail the thread but everyone who ends up in a relationship settles in some way. They may not do it intentionally, but no one ends up with perfect partners.
I take that more to be acceptance to be realistic, not settle. It's not settling to have priorities that are higher then others.
Tomay-toe , Tomaw-toe

The bottom line is that some of your expectations were not met.
 

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Tomay-toe , Tomaw-toe

The bottom line is that some of your expectations were not met.
It's unrealistic to assume all your expectations to be met in one person to begin with. This is especially true when it comes to physical attraction because it's just going to change with age anyway.

A better tact is to have requirements that are trait based and then be open that the specifics can come in lots of forms. For instance you require "sexual attraction and compatibility", but this doesn't mean they have to be the best kisser you ever been with, maybe they do something else the best but as a kisser they are just average. Or "Cares about ones appearance" but that doesn't mean they have to dress in suits all the time maybe their style is rugged outdoors man but they pull it off well, or if it's a women funky chic. You get the idea.
 

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Cant say I really have, because everyone I've pursued were 'my type', although there have been several who at first I didn't fancy but who grew on me, and I found myself fancying them.
 

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Tomay-toe , Tomaw-toe

The bottom line is that some of your expectations were not met.
It's unrealistic to assume all your expectations to be met in one person to begin with. This is especially true when it comes to physical attraction because it's just going to change with age anyway.

A better tact is to have requirements that are trait based and then be open that the specifics can come in lots of forms. For instance you require "sexual attraction and compatibility", but this doesn't mean they have to be the best kisser you ever been with, maybe they do something else the best but as a kisser they are just average. Or "Cares about ones appearance" but that doesn't mean they have to dress in suits all the time maybe their style is rugged outdoors man but they pull it off well, or if it's a women funky chic. You get the idea.
The question was "have you ever fancied someone who wasn't your type?". Type refers to preferences. To have preferences, one has to have expectations. You can't have one without the other.

In an ideal world, people would use your tact to find a partner. In the real world, that's not how it works. People have expectations and anything short of that is settling.
 

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Yes, occasionally. I generally go for the intellectual, slender, artsy types, more often found in urban/suburban settings, art galleries, concert halls, and yoga retreats. But I developed an amazing connection with a rum-guzzling, southern country belle with a houseboat, hunting lease, and lots of guns. Her cussing could make a master chief blush, she routinely won shooting competitions, yet she always dressed elegantly, even on the firing line. She was also one of the kindest, most caring and compassionate people I've ever known.
 

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No. It used to bother me that I was never interested in anyone outside my preference, but now I just go with it.

My type is dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin. I've always dated non-white women; persian, middle eastern, latina, and Indian women. My late wife was persian. My current girlfriend, or rather soon-to-be fiance, is Indian. Might have to do with me being half arab myself, although I look white. Who knows.
 

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The question was "have you ever fancied someone who wasn't your type?". Type refers to preferences. To have preferences, one has to have expectations. You can't have one without the other.

In an ideal world, people would use your tact to find a partner. In the real world, that's not how it works. People have expectations and anything short of that is settling.
Your original quote was -
everyone who ends up in a relationship settles in some way.
I have never felt like I settled in any relationship I have been in. As soon as I felt that way I wouldn't stay and a few times I haven't. Then again I had realistic expectations which really mostly revolved around being a priority and being treated with respect. Very little had to do with hair color and stuff like that. I figured as long as I was attracted that was cool and I guess I am fortunate that I am attracted to a lot of types.

I can't imagine being married or even with someone I settled on. So the world you are referring to is not the world I live in.
 

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Believe it or not my husband wouldn't be considered my "type". I love rugged and manly men. My husband is tall, dark and handsome but I wouldn't call him rugged. I love me a man in uniform, or a tradie type, neither of which my husband is. But, he's turned out to be the BEST thing that's ever happened to me and I absolutely adore him. He's kind, gentle, respectful, and dare I say it - safe, and stable. He's my big, comfy armchair. Turns out rugged and manly is overrated, who knew? Lol!
 

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Believe it or not my husband wouldn't be considered my "type". I love rugged and manly men. My husband is tall, dark and handsome but I wouldn't call him rugged. I love me a man in uniform, or a tradie type, neither of which my husband is. But, he's turned out to be the BEST thing that's ever happened to me and I absolutely adore him. He's kind, gentle, respectful, and dare I say it - safe, and stable. He's my big, comfy armchair. Turns out rugged and manly is overrated, who knew? Lol!
So, what if I was part digger(hey! uniform) and part cattle dog?

Do I stand a chance?
 

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Or what not what you would usually go for?
Have you, @leec?

I have such a very wide variety of types of women who I find attractive that, as far as I'm concerned, the question might have no meaning.
 

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My boyfriend is not my type. He is a musician, smokes pot sometimes, and works construction. I would never have looked twice at him in my youth but for some reason we met and sparks flew. He's a great guy and I'm very glad I put my own stupid limitations aside to get to know him.
 

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J
My boyfriend is not my type. He is a musician, smokes pot sometimes, and works construction. I would never have looked twice at him in my youth but for some reason we met and sparks flew. He's a great guy and I'm very glad I put my own stupid limitations aside to get to know him.
I have found "type" is not a particularly useful concept in forming relationships. It's just another word for prejudice. We are all different and every possible combination of two people is unique and unpredictable. You have to get close to someone before you can know there's a spark there. Why have a filter that excludes people on spurious grounds that have nothing to do with potential long term success in relationships. It's possible that some people are doomed to failure in relationships because they are limiting themselves to potential partners who fit a preconceived ideal that probably doesn't exist.
 
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