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I seriously wish that those who just hate the world would exempt themselves from marriage. My wife suffers from depression and I swear, 99% of the time, she's pissed, tired, aggravated, hostile, or indifferent. The rest of the time, she's unpleasant. If one doesn't like their life, why share it with someone else? Better for one person to be miserable than two. I have never met another human being who seemed less interested in being married.
I realize depression is an illness but those who have been diagnosed know they have it. If they feel unpleasant most days, they will be unpleasant to be around most days. Seems cruel for someone in that situation to latch themselves to a healthy human being.
 

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She's not depressed. She's paranoid. At least that's my lay opinion.
 

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Has she been professionally diagnosed with depression?

If so, what is the doctor actively doing to help her through this?

Depression can be beat.

Yet, it's just like ADD.

Back in the 90s every single kid in the world who was misbehaving had ADD (later on, they made it EVEN WORSE!! With ADHD).

Things like Depression and AD(H)D are so easily 'diagnosed' because they are a pharmacy cash cow.

If she doesn't love herself, then she doesn't have the capacity to love anyone else.
 

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OP did you know she had depression before you married her or did this depression happen during the marriage?
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You sound extremely frustrated and tired. What can you do to make you feel a little better right now? Nothing extreme, just something for you.

I think that the posters above me asked any question I could think to ask for a better understanding.
 

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I didn't know I was depressed when I got married. But it surfaced shortly thereafter. Mine is cured now but it took a LOT of work to do so.
 

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I relate to Mavash, my depression was not there when I got in my relationship with my spouse but happened durning my relationship and it also took me a lot of work to fight it. for me it took about almost 2 years to get threw it and thats when I really wanted to beat it not just because I had the support of my spouse you have to be willing to get threw it and want change in your life, so my depression was longer than 2 years...and even today I have gotten VERY far which im proud but I still am not the same as before and I dont think I will be my old self again. I will say I am more happy with who I am today but depression even when you beat it, its really hard to be the same as you were before if that makes sence? which can be hard on a relationship, even if your wife gets better she might be diffrent... this is a difficult situation and I think its best you both get therpy togeather and alone before you make a choice. it is really hard to beat depression without therpy of some sort and some support. everyone deals with depression diffrently but how you discribe it, it just seems she thinks very negative about life and is starting to bring herself down more like its headed into a depression. is it just starting? if so she needs to do something about it now, it will be harder the longer she waits.
 

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Has she been tried on different medications? If not you can insist on this as part of the agreement to stay in the marriage. If she won't seek help you don't have to stick around.
 

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I read through some of your posts and I am sorry to tell you this, not only is your wife depressed but you are also depressed...You both need treatment, medication especially.
 

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Depression is contagious, that's for sure.

My husband is chronically depressed - acts just the way you describe your wife, OP. He's currently in IC and taking medications to help, but I cannot see a difference at all.

Have you talked to her at all about how this effects you?
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