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Hi. I'm 27 and my husband is 31. We have been married for four years now. My husband and I love each other very much but we seem to be having the same argument always! He will go long periods of time without wanting to be intimate with me. I mean like six months+! I have tried every approach to this situation and nothing. He says he just doesn't think about it that much. But he has no problem "taking care of himself" so obviosly he does think about it. He swears he's not cheating, or gay. And everytime we have this argument it's the same reaction, violent like punching walls, but not me, and he says it makes him not want to with me when I'm bugging him all the time about it. So he promisses he'll make more of an effort and then we're fighting about again in a few more months. He keeps saying that sex isn't everything in a marriage. Am I just supposed to not want to have sex to make this marriage work!? I thought all men wanted sex? Please help!
 

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Maybe he just has a low sex drive or he is worried he doesn't satisify you. Possibly you could suggest some counciling with a sex therapist for the two of you. My husband had the same problem when we were first married 30 years ago. It had to do with his strict Catholic upbringing & his parents never talking to him about sex. A sex therapist helped us a great deal in only 3 sessions.
 

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R.S.A ihave the same problem but its with my wife. weve been married for 8 months and she dosent like to have sex or thats what she says. We had a great time before we got married and then it just started going down hill
 

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R.S.A. I have a similar problem. I enjoy having sex, my husband on the other hand is not that much into it. He says I'm always horny and that sex is not that important in a marriage. Even after I have shared with him why I enjoy being with him, we still go months with out being intimate. I have tried making our few encounters very fun and satisfactory specially for him so he would be more willing next time. At this point, I am his wife and the mother of his children ... I am not longer trying to encourage the intimacy. Given up? Possibly.
 

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Has he been stressed about anything lately. Stress can really effect a man's sex drive. I would also suggest some counseling if he is willing that way you can find a way to get off of the merry go round of fighting about the same thing all the time. Good luck I hope it all works out in the end.
 
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