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I'm very anti-reconciliation.

After reading infidelity and reconciliation message boards for years, what's really stood out is the incredible lack of self-respect and dignity displayed by most betrayed spouses as they desperately try to find a way to accept the unacceptable. You see a lot of them posting YEARS later saying they're still unsettled, still untrusting, still monitoring their cheaters, and for many, posting with new evidence they've found of their cheater up to no good again.

With age comes wisdom. I firmly believe that anyone who can **** all over you day after day after day by hiding things, lying, betraying and deceiving you - yet still smile at you and kiss you while lying to your face about where they just were - is someone not WORTHY of reinvesting in.

I'm not quite sure what the 'party line' on TAM is, but I know my party line is zero tolerance for cheaters - male OR female.
I never would have guessed you felt this way, Dear!


King Brian-
 

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Does Broken=Selfishness? My point in question is, can a person cheat if their not broken? I can see selfishness usually being true, but are all cheaters broken to?
Broken?

It is more that they are flawed, when compared to those who act and behave civilly.

Evil, bad and selfish people do exist.

Some folks act as stray dogs. It is their nature.

Some of this is derived from their genetics, mostly from their upbringing, and environment.

Even if this is 5 to 10% of the population defying good behavior, that is a huge number.

Sexual release is a powerful force.
The need for love and recognition is another strong force.
 
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Years ago, I thought that this site has reconciliation as the default position and the other place has divorce as the default. Was that the case in the past and has it changed?
I've been on this board since 2011.

I think Divorce has always had the edge here, by a large margin, and Reconciliation always required severe "heavy lifting" by the unfaithful spouse. Severe.
 
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