[derbygirl]

...considered setting up a decoy? What if you were to get a friend who your spouse doesn't know, and had that friend hit on your spouse? Just to find out their reaction. Is this a mean, low down, dirty thing to do, or am I on to something? And even if you did it, how would you confront your spouse. I just thought this would be an interesting discussion. I don't think I could go through with it, but I'm curious what people think of it.

 

[gumby0811]

I have actually thought about this, had it all planned out, just needed the friend to do it, as he knows all of my friends.I figured to have her hit on him do the whole flirty give him her number thing, and if he called have her meet him for coffee and show up just after he does.

 

[chillymorn]

...considered setting up a decoy? What if you were to get a friend who your spouse doesn't know, and had that friend hit on your spouse? Just to find out their reaction. Is this a mean, low down, dirty thing to do, or am I on to something? And even if you did it, how would you confront your spouse. I just thought this would be an interesting discussion. I don't think I could go through with it, but I'm curious what people think of it.

how would feel if someone tried it on you?

listen if your gut is telling you something ......unfortunatly most times its right. start snooping on the sly but don't get obsessed.

are you like this with all relationships...... your antenna must be up on this guy.

 

[Juicer]

When I was much younger and single, I helped out a good friend that was a girl, by hitting on her openly in front of a dating interest to see if he would react.
He didn't.

Interestingly, they still ended up dating...

But as for setting something like this up to annoy my wife?
Never did that. Sounds kinda...demented. Like, "Let's think of ways to annoy and hurt my wife."

 

[Count of Monte Cristo]

I can see this backfiring when the so-called 'friend' entraps your spouse and decides 'damn, I really like this guy - what she don't know won't hurt her.'

 

[derbygirl]

Interesting replies. I agree with chillymorn, I would feel horrible if someone did it to me. But then again, if you were to try it, and your spouse turned down the advances, then nothing else would ever need to be said.

Curious.

Please do not attack me for posting this! I am not considering it, I'm just curious about how people think.

 

[MattMatt]

...considered setting up a decoy? What if you were to get a friend who your spouse doesn't know, and had that friend hit on your spouse? Just to find out their reaction. Is this a mean, low down, dirty thing to do, or am I on to something? And even if you did it, how would you confront your spouse. I just thought this would be an interesting discussion. I don't think I could go through with it, but I'm curious what people think of it.

I think it is a dangerous idea.

However, I believe there are some professional firms who do this.

But you do realise how toxic this could be? Whatever happened, it would be a dirty little secret, corrosive and toxic, eating away at you...

 

[gumby0811]

all of these responses are exactly why i didn't go through with it when i thought of it. too many variables out of your control and although it would be a way to catch them red-handed i think it would be more painful to see them flirting with a friend, not to mention have any paranoia you previously had transfer onto said friend, especially if they do too good of a job with the flirting etc.

 

[Count of Monte Cristo]

But then again, if you were to try it, and your spouse turned down the advances, then nothing else would ever need to be said.

Don't be so sure. Him turning down the advances from one of your friends could just mean that he's not into HER. She may not be his type but someone else might be.

Too many variables and unknowns.