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Ok a little back story I was married for 6 years then in 2010 my wife cheated on me and we separated After 2.5 years were finally divorced as of this week. We both life in different states and are the same age. We got married when we were 22 and she had a 2yr old son from a previous relationship. So I was step dad from 2-9 and now hes 11. When she left I was crushed and separated myself from both of them out of anger. after 10 months I was dating and so was she and I got lonely and called out of the blue and we meet back up xmas of 2010. After that I realized all the anger was still there with her and took it out on him as well. fast forward to june of this year he called me out of the blue and it cought me off guard. he loves the new guy my ex is seeing but still calls me daddy and misses me and cried on the phone it made me feel an inch tall. now that were close to xmas again I decided to buy him a present and will ship it to him soon to put under the tree. My dilemma is I dont know how to explain to him that i started off life as his step dad. he found out about his real father but doesnt care its still all about me. Now I enjoy being single (now 31) and am moving on with my life as she is. shes already engaged and pregnant with new guys baby. Is it wrong to still send gifts because I care? How do I explain I can be a friend not a daddy? I wasnt good at raising a step son ex never let me was always her way. someone please give me some advice and dont bash on me I know its not the childs fault and I made my decision and am going to stick to it. I dont mind every once in a while call or email with him but not daily. It sounds mean but I loved him more in the beginning and eventually we grew apart just as ex wife.
 

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I too have went through the same thing,so no,never will i nor anyone here Bash you for feeling the way you do,If you read through my posts months back you will understand that i was in the same boat,unfortunate for me the EX and her boyfriend has manipulated the kids,as i am not able to contact with them,i wish i was able to contact them,to be there for holidays birthdays etc,to watch both grow,to give them the advise they need.
I would continue to be in contact,to love him as your own,the problem you face is the EX and her (as i call it) other,my EX and her Other want nothing for me to do in the kids life,so if she is ok with you still being around,then stay with it,continue to help him grow,steer him in the right direction,be apart of his life as he grows.
I wish i could be there,truth is he is now 16,and i have a feeling that someday he will knock on my door and ask to be with me.
 

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I think you need to talk to him and explain things, let him know he can't be in your life...just be honest..he is young he will get over it.

or keep in contact

I do like this quote as for me it's seems it's often true

'Sometimes the right path is not the easiest path'
 

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I think it would be a kind and compassionate thing for you to be there for him. I'm not saying spend time qoth him all the time but let him know that you care and are there for him. At this point he is probably thinking that all men leave. Show him how to be a real man.
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There is no reason to exclude him from your life. He likes you. You like him. Its a friendship. Don't sqaunder it over life's bull****
 
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