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Are you happy in your marriage?

  • Yes, we've always been extremely happy (minor issues here and there). NO REGRETS!

    Votes: 20 25.6%
  • We're happy now but we've had some rough patches. Still in love!

    Votes: 31 39.7%
  • It's satisfying. It's not like it used to be :( but it's not that bad either. We're okay.

    Votes: 5 6.4%
  • I'm not sure. It seems rather uncertain and ustable. Wish us luck!

    Votes: 7 9.0%
  • Not very good at the moment but I still love my spouse and want to work things out!

    Votes: 5 6.4%
  • Not very good. I really want out!

    Votes: 6 7.7%
  • The marriage is fine. The love is dead!

    Votes: 1 1.3%
  • Nonexistant. Divorced.

    Votes: 3 3.8%
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)
Please feel free to skip over any questions, I know they are rather personal, sorry :angel3:. And some might not be relevant to you.

Thank you for your time reading and answering and for sharing! :)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
  2. How did you first meet?
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
  4. How long did you date before you got married?
  5. How long did the engagement last?
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.
 

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I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)
Please feel free to skip over any questions, I know they are rather personal, sorry :angel3:. And some might not be relevant to you.

Thank you for your time reading and answering and for sharing! :)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?

    Mine 43 , Hers 45
  2. How did you first meet?

    Hanging out with a group of friends.
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?

    After a bad breakup with a former cheating girlfriend . We were just friends for about 5 years prior.
  4. How long did you date before you got married?

    One year
  5. How long did the engagement last?

    Never engaged , just attender some months of counselling and got married.
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?

    No. She lived at her parents place .
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

    Yes we are ok with opposite sex friends. The best advice I can give is to allow your spouse full veto powers and have proper , solid boundaries.
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?

    Well we work together. But outside of work, its hard to count but we spend lots of time.
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

    Every year she takes two trips with her friends. Other than that, we are constantly in each other's company.
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
    First year was like heaven. 5 years we started a business so it was lots of work,also we had to seek mariage counselling for some ,major problems, but the honey was still in the marriage.
    15 years things had basically settled down and we are well on our way to achieving our goals. Now at this present time I am still very happy we remained together.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?

    Sometimes its frequently, other times its infrequently. All depends on our work load and external stress factors.
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

    The secret to a happy sex life is to work on intimacy outside of sex. Try to bond with your spouse especially on an emotional level and sex would always be something they look forward to.
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

    I have read so many stories.
    I really don't know......
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

    Because ewe both own a business and work together, there are really no roles per se. I cook, do the laundry and dishes. She folds the clothes, makes up the bed on mornings, change the sheets,cleans. we switch anytime we feel like. No role is set in stone.
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?

    None.
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?

    Not app.
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?



  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?

    Not App.
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?

    I would have kids.
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?

    Maybe because we were lucky? Maybe because we were compatible? I really cannot put my finger on all of it.
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)

    Make sure your'e compatible. Make sure both of you have the same goals in life. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D

    A GOOD WOMAN.
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

    ".... Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
    The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
    She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life
    ...."
    Proverbs Of Solomon; 31: 10 - 12



Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.
 

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  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
    I am 28, hubby is 34
  2. How did you first meet?
    We first met on Oasis Avtive, a dating site here is Australia.
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
    I can't define the exact moment, we were joking about setting our wedding date even before we met face to face because we got along so well. Our first date was the best in history, and I guess I just always knew! :)
  4. How long did you date before you got married?
    We were together 2 years when we got married [/COLOR]
  5. How long did the engagement last?
    we were engaged at 7 months after we met and engaged 18months when we married.
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
    We didn't live together before we were married. We had a long distance relationship.
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?
    I have a couple of male friends (not single) and he is fine with that. He doesn't have female friends really, and if he did that wouldn't be an issue. If you are both on the same page as far as boundaries go, there will never be a problem.
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
    We spend most of our time together, we sometimes stay a night at a Hotel, or go to the beach, go for a walk, spend time together with our families or are rlaxing at home (after doing all the house work of course!) lol.
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?
    We both work, and apart from the odd bucks/hens party we are usually together. That doesn't always work for everyone though. Don't lose your individualism.
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
    We have only been married a year this month so things are still pretty great.At the start it was hard as we didn't live together first but now have settled in and we are very happy.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?
    We have sex on average about 3 times a week. sometimes 4. It depends! :)
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)
    We are open with what each of us desires, we try new things and re-visit some old things we have previously enjoyed before. We kiss and cuddle a lot. Physical touch is so important, and the more you make an effort to kiss and cuddle, the more it leads to ther things! :rolleyes:
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?
    First of all, if you are ever attracted to another person, make a concious effort to not seek out that person and spend a lot of time with them. Also, share passwords to your facebook accounts etc. Don't hide your phones from eachother. Don't let resentment build with anything. Always communicate.
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)
    Our roles are shared as far as cooking/ house hold chores goes. We have two bank accounts- one his pay goes into and pays off the mortage he had since before we got together- and the other joint account my pay goes into. i pay for most utillity bills, insurance etc. He pays for groceries. We both pay for outside activities like going out for tea etc.We are both good with money so we dont have an allocated budget BUT we don't do a lot of spending anyway.
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?
    No kids yet but we are trying! I have PCOS so we have recently started medical intervension. Fingers crossed!
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
    We actually started trying a few months before we got married
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
    There is a lot of time for eachother right now and we know that will change with the addition of children but we can't wait!
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
    We are both very maternal people. At the moment our 9 month old puppy has been the centre of our affections so she is spoilt! Time for a baby! :smthumbup:
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
    The only thing we would have done different, is not wait 18months to get married. We could have just waited 12 months and been organised sooner. We just love being together!
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
    Honesty, communication, knowing eachother's boundaries and resect are the keys to maintaining a good solid marriage. And being friends with people who are a 'friend of your marriage' helps too. Anyone who encourages behaviour from you that they know your partner wouldn't like, is someone to stay away from.
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
    Don't expect it to be all smooth sailing. No one rides off happily into the sunset and that's the end of the story. Marriage requires constant work. Just take eachother as you are, love unconditionally and allow yourself to be surprised. Happiness is about love and acceptance.
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D
    Sexy, intelligent, soulful.
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?
    "It is not lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages". I believe this 100%, a lot of people forget this and have other friends they treat better than their own spouse. We cant forget that we should be eachother's best friend's as well as lovers. :D

Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.[/QUOTE]
 

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I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)
Please feel free to skip over any questions, I know they are rather personal, sorry :angel3:. And some might not be relevant to you.

Thank you for your time reading and answering and for sharing! :)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?

    Mid 40's
  2. How did you first meet?

    Mutual friends introduced us
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?

    My sons were the indicator on this.....they've loved him from the beginning....
  4. How long did you date before you got married?

    We dated 14 months, lived together 2 years, then married
  5. How long did the engagement last?

    little over 2 yrs.
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?

    Answered above
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

    No OS friends for us
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?[/B

    He's away 3 wks for work; home 3 weeks. We spend his time home doing everything together.

    [*]How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

    3 weeks @ a time. He works; I take care of the home, do volunteer work, etc.

    [*]What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?

    Other than our sons being grown and gone, nothing has changed. Well, we do have a little more freedom in the sex life department.

    [*]How often do you and your spouse have sex?

    AOAP As often as possible

    [*]How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

    Mutual respect; selflessness......making it about the other

    [*]What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

    Knowing and doing what spells love to the other - Love Languages helps with this one.

    [*]What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

    He has a paying job, but we both work. When he's away, i take care of everything (yard, vehicles, house, you name it, i do it). When he's home, we share it all except the budget/bills. He's happy with me taking care of them but I keep him informed on what's coming in/going out.

    [*]Do you have kids? If so, how many?

    3 Sons: 1 @ 28; 2 @ 24

    [*]How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?

    I had them when we met. When I offered, he said he didn't want anymore - he said with my track record - my third pregnancy we'd end up with triplets Lol

    [*]How do children (or no children) affect marriage? -

    In our situation, they didn't - they were part of the package when we met

    [*]How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?

    N/A

    [*]If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?

    Nothing

    [*]Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful? Constant communication and mutual respect.

    [*]What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)

    To never forget why they fell in love with each other; continue courting/dating one another.

    [*]If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D Devoted, giving, loving,

    [*]What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage? Don't really have one....


Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.
 

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Your age and your spouse's age?
46 & 49

How did you first meet? School lunch table of a new Vocational school for both of us, me 10th grade, him 11th.

How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person? I felt this way within 6 months, comfort, secure, very loved, but I was so young, I had some growing up to do.. I was a born Romantic though.


How long did you date before you got married? 8 years (since I just 15 )...he would have married me at 18.. but I was not ready.

How long did the engagement last? 5 yrs maybe, forget when we got engaged !

Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long? Yes...8 months, when we got our own little house on a hill ... I planned our big wedding.

Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject? Every friend he ever had, and every one I ever had -became BOTH our friends immediately... one of his GF's became one of my Best friends ...had her in our wedding even... We were like glue / best friends when we met... none tried to interfere with this... We did everything together, both our friends took a hit after we met.


How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together? We treasure our time together... both of us are "Home Bodies"... so just laying around watching a movie in each others arms,
, taking a walk in the woods, swinging on a porch swing talking...going out to eat/ a movie....hanging with some friends around a bonfire.... love to get off without the kids/ with the kids... anything ...so long as we're together, we enjoy it.

How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart? When he's at work.. I am doing house chores, TAM... tending to kids...we both enjoy our own computer time. He plays more board games with the kids than me.

What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now? We've always felt more Blessed "After marraige"... like it was better... 1st year we had some sexual struggles since we waited for intercourse, funny story there, but Love it anyway. Got pregnant very quickly. On top of the world with that news.

5 yrs... we were dealing with "Secondary Infertility"- this was the hardest time for me/us... I was going through many tests, pokes, pills, worry, a surgery.. I was more grouchy as I so dreamed of more children, it was my
's desire. .. he was very patient...

15 yrs.. Had 5 kids by then...felt overwhelmingly blessed ...but it seems I forgot Dad who helped me get them all !:banghead:

How often do you and your spouse have sex? In the past, faithfully at least once a week (should have been a ton more), in our 40's... 4-6 times a week. .

How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!) I was always sexually satisfied... orgasmed every time, he was a good lover... so good we never talked about sex ! Looking back, this was our biggest regret.....as I was a little repressed... he was too passive with his needs.. so he did suffer some when I was in "Mommy mode" ...

Taken from my Thread here >>



7. SEX ! Compatability here is vital....especially IF YOU LOVE SEX! Too often there is a huge disconnect in this area !
, men have 10 times more Testosterone running through their veins in comparison to women... it causes them great frustration & pain when their wives reject them, they feel LOVED through the desire of their wives. Many women's drives take a dive after marraige & kids.... knowing if she is a PLEASER by nature will be very helpful. Talk about the role of masterbation during the low times (out of town, sickness, pregnancy)

Even enjoyment of a little PORN should be openly discussed -to avoid hurt feelings, some women look upon it as cheating - KNOW these things- work them out ! Love & Pornography

Always keep the sex SPICEY, men crave variety/ novelty... women crave the Emotional Connection with their husbands...... buy a game, pick up a book, try some erotic message, keep learning. Browse ADAM & EVE, try some toys, flavored lubes, read reviews. Stop in at Spencer's. Surprise the husband with some lingerie!

Sex & physical Pleasure may be less than 10% of a marraige, but when it is lacking.. it will feel like 90% of the problems....and the rejected spouse may end up a poster on this forum! :( Learn the beauty & need of sex through the eyes of one who has lost it & lives a sexless existence click here

We all want
and
in the bedroom! :D


Sex Info 101 website - Granddaddy list of Sexual Positions
Complete Idiots Guide to Amazing Sex ....very informative for new lovers -covers it all!
Sheet Music - Uncovering the secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage ....Excellent book for Christians.
When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life ..... ... Identifying Your Libido Type
Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man .....every wife should read this!
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman ....every husband should read this!
The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensible Guide to Pleasure & Seduction
Discover Your Lover Board Game ....might help break some inhibitions reading cards & playing a game!

What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage? A willing giving Transparency , Honesty in all things... keeping the
aflame for HIM.... and the husband meeting all of her emotional & listening needs....also proper agreeable "boundaries" with the opposite sex

What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.) We are more Traditionally minded...He is the main Breadwinner, I am the SAHM who handles all the cooking/cleaning, all the bill paying, scheduling...everything I can ....his helpmate...to make his life easier & less stressed .... so when he comes home, he has time for ME/ for the kids... that work I can not do...the manly stuff. This is how we manage our time..and it works well.


Do you have kids? If so, how many? 6 ....ranging from kindergarten to College age


How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids? We Let nature take it's course...

How do children (or no children) affect marriage? We agreed on at least 3 .. but ended up with 6 trying to get a girl.....Our children have enhanced our lives in countless ways...we don't see them as a burden ....but pure blessings...Life would be hollow without them..they bring us great laughter...we enjoy their friends....we enjoy molding & mentoring their young lives.....I adore having a houseful of children... He is a wonderful attentive Father.


How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents? Life is a risk...after dating for 8 yrs, we felt we had enough time alone...he had excellent health insurance, so why not ! We never cared for a Partying lifestyle so we were born for ~ the doting parents role... one regret we have....living so much FOR THEM, making them happy, we neglected getting off alone, our own little romantic Getaways.

If you could do it over again, what would you do differently? Opened up the
dialog...read more Books on "pleasing each other" - overcame my inhibitions & had more
/wild/ teasing / flirting sex - lots more -when he was in his PRIME.

Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful? I married a wonderful man who is faithful , patient, generous of his time, kind, Romantic, a great listener, honest...we understand each others faults/ weaknesses...neither expects perfection - BUT honesty...always!!

We have the same love languages in the same order... Very compatible, he makes me Roar laughing... Our Communication (other than sex) has always been one of our greatest assets...... we talk deeply/ we listen/ own our our faults/ forgive when necessary ....we sort it out...never go to bed
...and 99% of the time we have "make up sex".

What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples?
Never Keep Secrets ~~~~ Never let the Sun go down on your anger. A little conflict is healthy, do not fear it ~~~Know your spouses Love Languages & live to give what they crave. ~~~~ If you have sexual inhibitions, destroy them! Read books on Sex , Intimacy & Spicing like mad, never let the passion fade.~~~ Continue to date after kids, Laugh with each other, Flirt always, be playful, bring each other up when the other is having a bad day .~~~ May your Lover forever & always be your Best Friend. :)
If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D Faithful, Honest & True.


What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage? How about a song...
Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
 

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751 Posts
  1. Your age and your spouse's age?

    I am 57 and my wife is 58.

  2. How did you first meet?

    I first set eyes in my wife in high school in 1971. It was the first day of concert choir. In walked this gorgeous petite girl with long reddish brown hair. WOW!! I and a mutual friend introduce me to her. She was about 5'2" and 100 lbs. (By the way, she is still gorgeous and has kept herself for me. She is only about 112 lbs today.)

  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
  4. How long did you date before you got married?
  5. How long did the engagement last?

    I want to answer all three questions at once. We started dating and there was an immediate connection. Things progressed rapidly and within a few months we were making out and I was fingering her to orgasm (that was the first time I experienced a girl having an orgasm...WOW!) and she was giving me hand jobs. It did not take long to take the next step. We thought we knew her fertile times, but she got pregnant. Needless to say, it was a very difficult time. Somehow I knew, even at 17, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We got married July 15, 1972, only 9 months after we met. We will celebrate 41 years in July...as we do every year with a wildly romantic and sexy trip to a resort.

  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?

    No.

  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

    Neither one of us has close friends of the opposite sex. The closest thing to that would be coworkers. That being said, neither one of us would have a problem with it. If you keep your relationship right, there are no worries. If I meet my wife's needs and she meets mine, there is no need to look anywhere else. Why would I steel a Smart Car when I have a Farrari in the garage?

  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?

    About the only time we are apart is when we are at work (we even used to work together). We spend almost all of our time together when not at work (and it is never enough). We take drives, go to antique shops, sing in a community chorus, go to church, work around the house, cuddle up naked on the couch and watch a movie or a football game (yes, my wife loves football as much as I do), etc.

  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

    About the only time we are apart is when she goes to bed before me and I am watching TV or reading. Occasionally she will go see family without me.

  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?

    The first year, not so good. We were young. I never had modeled for me how to treat a woman. All I wanted was sex and she was tired with a new baby. 5 years...not much better, but we did love each other and wanted to make it work. In the meantime we had another baby. It was probably around year 15 that we started to grow in our own selves. We read some good books, attended some seminars and started to learn how to meet each others needs. Then there was counseling and the books "His Needs, Her Needs," Mars and Venus in the Bedroom'" and "The Five Love Languages." Now??? AWESOME!!! We are best friends and passionate lovers.

  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?

    Except for these last two months, 2 to 3 times a week. December was so busy and in January we both got sick. Right now it has been 12 days and we are both freakin' horny! And we have another busy weekend! The only thing about it being so long is it is SOOOOO HOT! I should also say that when we are away on our anniversary trip it is at least every day and sometimes twice a day.

  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

    The most important way to have a satisfying sex life it to keep the other areas or your relationship strong. Sexual problems usually are an indication of problems in the relationship. It is so easy to get comfortable in the relationship and stop working at it like you did when you were dating. Keeping the sex hot for us includes using different positions and locations, making home made sex tapes and watching them, trying new toys, taking nude pictures of each other, reading books about sex, playing sex games, and getting away to a secluded cabin or B&B.

  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

    Make your spouse and your relationship the most important thing in your life over work, friends, family, or any outside interest.

  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

    I handle the finances, she does most of the cooking, I do much of the housework, she does most of the work in our yard (we have a small downtown yard with all flowers and perennials, no grass). We decide on the budget (spending plan) jointly and we have joint accounts.

  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?

    We have three sons, all grown and living in other states, and 8 grandchildren.


  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?

    Oh lets see...6 months.

  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?

    Children can be a source of great joy and sometimes heartache. Early on it can be a source of exhaustion and it is important to teach children that your bedroom is off limits to them when the door is closed. KNOCK!!!
    We just spent Christmas with all three of our sons and had an awesome time! Oh, and don't parent your adult children!

  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?

    As you have read it was thrust upon us, but I don't think you are ever ready really. You just gotta dive in!

  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?

    That is a hard question. Obviously we should not have been having sex so young, but on the other hand, it has been an incredible journey. So, if that is what it took to get my wife to marry me:smthumbup:, then no, I would not have done differently.

  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?

    I think, besides the fact that we were meant for each other, we were determined to make it work because divorce was an epidemic in both of our families. By "meant for each other" I mean that we are very compatible and have the same interests. It is so important to have many ares of common interests. It is very difficult to remain close if you have nothing in common. I could not imagine losing my best friend.

  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)

    GET PREMARITAL COUNSELING!!!! Don't let yourself go and get comfortable. I run to keep my weight in check and we both eat healthy. We want to look hot for each other. The way you won each other is the way you keep each other.

  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be?

    My best friend...great in bed (oh wait...that is 6 :D)

  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

    See my signature line.
 

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Funny. People love to talk about themselves. Bravo! I suppose it goes for me too.

First of, congratulations.

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
    DEEP in our 40s. Thats all I'll say.
  2. How did you first meet?
    Blind Date. Me at my first job out of school, she fresh faced junior in a little hick-town college. We were both sssssss-mokin' and had obvious chemistry and had each other laughing easily. Wound up having sex the first night.
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
    It wasnt a lightning strike, but a slow realization that we wanted to be together forever.
  4. How long did you date before you got married?
    5 Years
  5. How long did the engagement last?
    About a year.
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
    We lived together for about 4 years.
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?
    Generally, we dont have opposite sex frends we hang around with. Hasnt been an issue with is.
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
    We have 2 young kids... we barely leave the house it seems. :p Most activity, besides the odd date night or something.. has been family activities lately.
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?
    Not often. She takes the kids and flies to her parents once a year or so for a week which is the only significant time we spend apart. Usually, I take advantage and get something done in the house like refinishing floors or something - easier when nobody is around.
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
    Its all been good. We had a 'slow' spot after about 5 years where we went like 6 months wthour sex.. but I hardly rememeber why. We were together 10 years before we had kids, so we had our 'together time' and fun. After 20 years, things got very good.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?
    I dont know. 2-6 times a week? Typically 3-4.
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)
    Sex follows everything else. Have a good relationship, a loving and giving relationship.. and sex will take care of itself. People often have it backwards and think having sex will remedy a rough relationship. They are wrong.
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?
    Avoid tempting situations. Be aware of what you are doing.
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)
    Everyone 'works'. I work fulltime, she part time at her job plus she does the vast bulk of housework and managing kids when I am not at home. I cook all weekend and get groceries and am handiman. I do most work outside. She did finances for 10 years now I do it.. doesnt matter really but we do co-mingle everything and there is no 'mine' and 'hers' everything comes out of the general fund. We share credit cards etc, though we do each have 1 in our own name. I believe money is the single biggest relationship killer, and we have been lucky in that respect as we have few monetary concerns really.
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?
    2
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
    6 Years.
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
    We had 10 years together before we had kids so we had the extended Honeymoon. Big D.I.N.K's But it allowed us to settle in as a couple and get our life in order. Worked for us.
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
    We talked about it.. usually over dinner after a bottle of wine and tipsy. Neither of us wanted to rush it, but eventually we figured out that we were either going to do it... or not. We did it. I was less convinced as I have seen kids tear apart couples, but we were ready emotionaly, financially etc. We made the right choice.
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
    Not sure I would change a thing.
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
    We didnt rush anything.. from moving in together to getting married to buying a house we could easily afford to having kids.. everything came in its own time once we felt were really ready. (Caveat - you are never fully 'ready' for kids!) We also have no hang-ups about role assignments or division of duties - we both get S#iT done.
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples?
    Dont forget the little things with your spouse.. a kind word, flowers, little acts of service, keeping a sense of humor - and remembering you are both on the same team. Disagreements often boil down to a different perspective and lack of understanding - not malice.
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be?
    Dedicated, loving, generous.
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?
    Dont have one.
 

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Sex follows everything else. Have a good relationship, a loving and giving relationship.. and sex will take care of itself. People often have it backwards and think having sex will remedy a rough relationship. They are wrong.
:iagree:X 100%
 

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I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)
Please feel free to skip over any questions, I know they are rather personal, sorry :angel3:. And some might not be relevant to you.

Thank you for your time reading and answering and for sharing! :)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
    I'm 30, wife is 24.
  2. How did you first meet?
    Online - dating website.
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
    I kind of had a feeling that I would from the moment I saw her profile pic online, but what made me certain was a moment one day driving with her. She told me a story of her running with red boots on and did robot hands like she was running really fast. I knew then and the next week went out and bought her a ring.
  4. How long did you date before you got married?
    About 2.5 years.
  5. How long did the engagement last?
    1 year.
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
    No.
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?
    Yes, don't have a problem with this as long as these friends and your partner never had a sexual past together, or a one night stand etc. I don't think it's healthy for the marriage to keep in contact or remain friends with ex's.
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
    We both work during the day, so we are together every night and most weekends if the wife is not working. We try and make the most of our time together, and enjoy the beach, walking the dog and seeing family and friends. We both enjoy the simple things in life like giving each other massages which leads to other things lol
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?
    The wife may go visit family on her days off, and I take time to work on my car and go fishing.
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
    Only been married just over a year, and it's pretty much been what I expected. It did take a little while to settle in and adjust but we always talked about things.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?
    Usually 3-4 nights a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. The more we do it, the more we want it lol There are weeks we do it every night.
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)
    We both know what each other enjoy and never let the stresses of day to day stuff stop us from been intimate. Plus we both have an evenly matched sex drive and can't keep our hands off each other.
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?
    This is an easy one for me, I love my wife more than anything and would never let another person come between us. I made a commitment to my wife and would never do anything to hurt her, once the trust is gone it's very hard to get back. I think if you really love your spouse, remember that love before you do anything stupid.
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)
    Everything is 50/50 we share the house work and cooking, if one of is not well, the other will look after them. There is no my money and her money, it's OUR money whether we have $10 in the bank or a million.
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?
    No.
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
    We started trying as soon as we got married, so fingers crossed.
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
    They bring more love into the home.
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
    I always knew I wanted to be a dad, even from a young age, and we both have so much love to give.
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
    Nothing really, the only thing is sometimes it feels like I wasted a lot of years and wish I met my wife when I was younger.
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
    We both love each other deeply, I have never doubted our love and are best friends. We both also respect each other and if something is bothering us we never stew on it and always talk.
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
    No matter what never go to bed angry, say I love you and give your partner a hug and a kiss every morning.
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D
    SEXY, gentle/loving and so full of life.
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.
 

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Your age and your spouse's age?
33 and he's 36

[*]How did you first meet?
His sister married my uncle (yeah it's legal lol)

[*]How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?

[*]How long did you date before you got married?
Not long, we got together in Oct 99 and I moved in Dec 99

[*]How long did the engagement last?
9 yrs, got married in 2008 have been together since 99

[*]Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
Yes, 9 years (now 14 yrs)

[*]Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

Nope, not unless we are both their friends and only when we are out and about together as a group. Before he cheated, I was okay with it.

[*]How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
I'm in school right now for a profession in the medical field but normally we spend a good chunk of time together. More than most do. We talk, music, movies, the kids, cook together, clean together... everything we do together.

[*]How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

I am in school during the day, he works weekends.

[*]What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?

Same as any other year. We were common law first with kids - no difference to me. After infidelity though, completely different. I have major resentment issues even nearly 3 yrs later.

[*]How often do you and your spouse have sex?
I'm high drive - I want it every day I'd be freaking lucky if I could get him to give it to me once a week instead of once every 3 or 4 weeks (part of my resentment issues besides infidelity)

[*]How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

Communication. Only guy to give me orgasms during PIV, each and every time - even if it's kind of scarce right now.

[*]What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

Communication. Boundaries. Honesty. Respect.

[*]What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

He does all the households (I help) and I work full time. He's part time.

[*]Do you have kids? If so, how many?
Yes, five of them. All his and mine biologically.

[*]How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
Had kids first, then got married.

[*]How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
Children take up a lot of your time on both sides. Especially when young and they depend on the parents. When they start getting self sufficient (like mine) it gets easier. Getting out for time alone is a pain but now my oldest can babysit.

[*]How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
We didn't, it was unexpected and unplanned but we've managed. They don't come with manuals - it's trial and error.

[*]If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
Run the other way fast. I am biased though... I have infidelity playing a major roll in my answers. The love is still alive for him - dying for me (whole different thread, don't care to elaborate to be honest).

[*]Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
One word - kids.

[*]What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
Follow your gut instincts. Respect, honesty, dignity, communication and boundaries - know each others needs and don't just ignore them ever.

[*]If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D
Gonna skip this one for now. I don't have choice words - not a good day.

[*]What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

"There is no spoon" Matrix.

Sorry that was quite negative but use this well - see how infidelity can tear apart a person and a marriage. See what it does to a family and NEVER be unfaithful for anything or anyone. Heed this post well, if you want to grow old with your fiance and he with you - DO NOT CHEAT!!
 

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  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
    48 and 41.
  2. How did you first meet?
    Employment.
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
    I probably knew very shortly into the relationship but really knew about a year into dating when I had gone away to graduate school and my first quarter’s grades really sucked. Really they were only C’s but significantly, in my chosen profession, those first year’s grades mean a lot as to where you go after graduation. I was devastated – she stood by me.
  4. How long did you date before you got married?
    5-years.
  5. How long did the engagement last?
    1-year.
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
    Yes. Half a year perhaps. It would have been during summer breaks and after grad school while sitting for my exams.
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?
    Absolutely. If you can’t feel comfortable with this walking into the marriage – you probably shouldn’t be getting married.
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
    Evenings (7—10) and most weekends. Weekdays: Eat, bathe and read to kids, talk (I gripe about work), maybe TV, read/work, sleep, cuddle and sex if we’re not too tired and the kids are sleeping. Weekends: soccer, swimming or other kid activities, church, Grandma/Grandpa’s Sunday afternoon.
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?
    Weekdays: 7 to 7 I’m working, Weekends: I’m either camping (or something similar) with the kids, working or studying.
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
    Year-1: Crazy. I was working 7-days a week as a junior associate, spouse was constantly on international business trips. What little time we had together we tried to enjoy.
    Year-5: Much calmer. I took a government job, spouse was traveling less, we felt more financially comfortable in that we’d really scrimped to pay down student loans and mortgages as much as we could and we were planning to start a family.
    Year 10: Personally, I feel our marriage had just weathered the perfect storm. Two toddlers; we moved across country to take a better job (allowing spouse to stay home) and frankly, if I was single I’d have left the job after 6-months; post partum depression issues; crappy to non-existent sex; financial melt-down of 2008/massive lay-offs; my mother died; her father died; I was drinking way too much and honestly I almost plunged into a EA with two separate individuals.
    Today: I think we’ve successfully weathered some tough times and I feel our relationship is the better for it. Today, I believe we are more committed to and in love with each other than ever.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?
    Depends on how tired we are but 1-2 times a week.
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)
    Cunnilingus. Seriously, I think the sex life is a direct reflection of how everything else is going. Concentrate on the bigger picture and the sexual intimacy will be reflective of that. Otherwise – lots and lots of cunnilingus.
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?
    For me, it really came down to thinking about the family as a whole and I decided if I were to do it (an EA), I’d tell my spouse first. And I told her that – a number of times. I don’t know if she took me seriously at first but at some point she realized I wasn’t joking or just angry at the moment. Things slowly got better.
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)
    I do what I can, more so on the weekends but honestly my spouse (the wife) carries this load. But she is also a SAHM. When we were both working it was much more 50/50 – it had to be.
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?
    Yes. Two.
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
    Five-years.
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
    Complete game changer, they affect your lives in every way. This is good and awesome but, at times, very overwhelming.
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
    I think we always knew.
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
    My job/career. In many ways we’ve been fortunate; it keeps the bills paid and allows my spouse to stay at home (for now) with the kids. At a personal level, it is neither rewarding or fulfilling and I have very little trust or admiration of the people for whom I work – but for now, it is what it is. We’re stuck.
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
    We took and take the covenant of our marital vows seriously and to heart.
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
    For better and for worse means just that.
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D
    My Best Friend
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?
    Choose your words and your actions carefully for they are your children’s true inheritance.
 

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I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)
Please feel free to skip over any questions, I know they are rather personal, sorry :angel3:. And some might not be relevant to you.

Thank you for your time reading and answering and for sharing! :)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?

    Me 47 Wife 40
  2. How did you first meet?

    Through Church
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?

    We had know each other for years but did not start dating until I came out of the military. from then about 6 months
  4. How long did you date before you got married?

    just under a year
  5. How long did the engagement last?

    5 months
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?

    No
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

    Yes
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?

    Due to work and family comitments less than 1 waking hour aday alone with each other, lots of family time at the weekens, Mum and Dad dates at least once a month now that our daughters are old enough to look after their brothers for a bit.
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

    Apart from time devoted to work / kids we both allow ourselves a little "me" time every now and then (one evening a month for me).
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?

    The first year was manic, our first child, moved to a new town due to a new job offer. 5 years, by then we had 3 kids my wife was a SAHM so money was tight, 15 years, 5 kids but money no longer such an issue, started finding a bit more time and space for us as a couple, getting better little by little.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?

    We don't
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

    No, due to medical problems a full sex life is no longer possible, we do still love and comfort each other.
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

    Put the needs of your partner / family at the top of everydays "To Do List". Do not confuse "want" with "need". Pray together.
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

    I work full time (down to 50 hours a week now) and my wife works partime from home, My wife does the majority of the childcare / houshold chores. I pay the bill, do the DIY. We share budgeting (the kids get a say as well).
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?

    5 children
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?

    We started tryng for kids on our weeding night (no pre nup for us) and we were blessed with our first child 43 weeks later.
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?

    Having children is the most expensive, most time consuming, most wonderful, most joyus thing either of us has ever done.
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?

    I had always wanted a family (preferable a big family) and my wife felt the same, before we were married we would find any excuse to babysit / take out our nieces and nephews / help at the church youth group.
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?

    Make more "Mum & Dad" time around the 8 - 10 year mark, we got into a rut and it took my wifes medical problems for us to realise that we needed to do fewer things well rather than try to do it all.
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?

    Compatibility, Communication, Compromise, Consideration.
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)

    Do Not rush things, Talk to each other about EVERYTHING before you get married, be sure you have the same long term goals. Treat others as you would want them to treat you.
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D

    Friend, wife, mother.
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

    That which God put together let no man put asunder.

Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.
 

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As for the poll can we are all differant I would need an option that included:

It's not like it used to be, Still in love!, NO REGRETS! .

The "lust" has been replaced with a deeper "love" and understanding.
 

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It's not like it used to be, Still in love!, NO REGRETS! .

The "lust" has been replaced with a deeper "love" and understanding.
That's what I got from reading your initial response to the poll!
 

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Your age and your spouse's age? I'm 32, he's 35.
How did you first meet? I was friends with his little sister and we became friends. We hadn't seen each other in years, but ran into each other at a party and reconnected instantly.
How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person? Almost immediately after we saw each other at that party. We just KNEW.
How long did you date before you got married? 8 months
How long did the engagement last? About 2 weeks.
Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long? Yes, we moved in together after 2 months and lived together for 6 months before marrying.
Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject? We are both okay with each other's friends. We trust each other completely. Trust is so important. If you don't trust each other for whatever reason, that's an issue you need to deal with. I think you should feel 100% okay with your spouse hanging out with their friends alone occasionally.
How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together? We have very little alone time together since we had a child 3 years ago, but we try to have one date night a month, during which we usually have a quiet dinner out together and maybe watch a movie.
How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart? One of us may do something without the other, maybe once a month, usually because we don't have a babysitter and we don't want the other person to miss out on something (a friend's birthday, for example).
What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now? It's always felt great. We've had our issues and disagreements but I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.
How often do you and your spouse have sex? About once a week.
How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!) You have to make it a priority, especially after you have kids. Everyone is busy all the time and tired, but you HAVE TO make time for sex, even if that means "scheduling" it. It may not sound romantic, but it's more romantic than a sexless marriage.
What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage? To make sure your partner is happy and sexually satisfied. I think sexually satisfied people stray less often.
What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.) We both work full-time. I (the wife) clean, do laundry and dishes, 90% of the housework.
Do you have kids? If so, how many? Yes, we have a 3-yr-old together and he has a 7-yr-old from a previous relationship.
How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids? We were trying even before we got married, but it was about 8-9 months into our marriage before I got pregnant.
How do children (or no children) affect marriage? They certainly make it harder. It's hard to have "couple time" and you're both much much MUCH more tired when there are children. But it's also the most fulfilling and rewarding thing you can ever have in your life.
How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents? We both very much wanted to have children.
If you could do it over again, what would you do differently? I can't think of a thing.
Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful? Because we work at it, we both adore each other, we are invested in this marriage, and we both want to stay together forever.
What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? Communicate your wants and needs. It's nice for your spouse to just KNOW what you want, but it's not realistic. TELL THEM what you need from them and they will most likely be willing to oblige you.
If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be?
What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?
 

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Your age and your spouse's age? - i am 22 and he is 29
How did you first meet? - at a party
How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person? - 3 months after we met
How long did you date before you got married? - 8 months
How long did the engagement last? - 5 months
Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? - yes for a month
Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject? - at first it was a minor jealousy issue. now its dust in the wind. we hang out with whoever we want to male or female. my advice is that your spouse is with you for a reason. if they wanted someone else they would not be with you.
How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together? almost every day after work, we watch tv, talk, cook dinner together
How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart? most of the working day and few nights a month when one of us goes out with friends.
What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now? gonna be our 3rd year married and it has been wonderful. difficult at times, but over all i have no regrets
How often do you and your spouse have sex? 4-5 days outta the week
How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!) yes, switch it up a bit. surprise eachother. try new positions
What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage? always be completely honest. if a girl hits on my hubby, he tells me about it and vice versa. let's us know that we are still attractive to the single people
What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.) hubby works full time. we both clean we both cook. and i manage the finances and bills
Do you have kids? If so, how many? no kids
How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids? couple more years before we have any
How do children (or no children) affect marriage? people think they have to have kids right away and those are the relationships that almost never work out in the long run
How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents? not yet.
If you could do it over again, what would you do differently? nothing
Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful? we love eachother, we communicate, we do things together and we also have plenty of time apart.
What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? don't spend every waking hour with him or her. you need to do things on your own with your own friends, so that you will "miss" your spouse
If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? handsome. loving. unique
What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage? if you love something, DONT let it go.
 

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  1. Your age and your spouse's age? 39 & 39
  2. How did you first meet? Mutual friends (although by chance we had conversed online already - bak in the early 90's before it was normal ...)
  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person? When? About a year after we met, about 3 months after we started dating. How? .. Umm .. you just know? You can't imagine not being with them ...
  4. How long did you date before you got married? 9 months-ish.
  5. How long did the engagement last? 4 months-ish
  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long? No (well, almost no - she slept on my sofa for a couple of weeks after being made homeless just before the wedding - long story)
  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject? Yes, but with care. Always be totally honest and upfront about everything, and have clear boundaries. Talk about how wonderful your spouse is regularly, and never say anything disparaging about them in public.
  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together? Lots. We try to eat together almost every night, we spend weekends together, and take our holidays at the same time. If we're feeling well-off we might send the kids to Grandma's and spend a couple of nights in a hotal, in another country :)
  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart? Don't like spending time apart. Have to occasionally for work (mine) or family stuff. Like she's going to stay at her brother's (near her mother's) for a few days, but I have to work, so I'm staying here.
  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now? First year is hard - getting used to sharing space, learning how to live with someone. It's great, but it's difficult. It gets easier. First 5 years, well, by then we had two children, and life is busy! After 15 years, the children aren't so demanding all the time (although they're more expensive ..) so we get more time together by ourselves. Now the older ones can babysit the younger ones.
  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex? 4/5 times a week, usually. Not always every day, but most days.
  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!) Umm ... it's sex. What's not to like? ;)
    But more seriously, so long as you remain focused on keeping your spouse happy and fulfilled, it seems to work well.
  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage? Lots of time together, total honesty, and clear boundaries. A marriage is the two of you against the world. Nothing breaches that. Think. Remember who you are, what you've promised, and why. A fleeting fling is not worth destroying your marital relationship.
  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.) We both work, although she only works part time, so she can be home for the children after school. I earn a lot more, she could earn more but it would mean compromises. House chores ... umm .. no one :D
    We both cook - her more, by necessity, but we both do it and enjoy it (it's the clearing up afterwards that we ... forget about.) Finances, mostly me.
  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many? 3 kids.
  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids? 3 months.
  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage? You get less 'couple' time, early on. Children can't be left while you do what you want. And they necessitate a bigger house, car, early evenings, responsibility, etc.
  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents? We had a pregnancy 'scare' at 2 months, and discovered we were dissapointed when it was a false alarm.
  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently? Be more aware of the need for compromise early on.
  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful? Devotion to eachother and trying to be aware of each other's needs (even her need to have me make decisions, where I might have worried about being domineering - sometime she WANTS me to tell her what we're doing!)
  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
    I wrote it here:
    http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/58256-tips-newlyweds.html#post1137500
  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D Soft, Warm, Lovely (each word has multiple meanings)
  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage? "No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home."
 

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I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
    59 and 58

  2. How did you first meet?
    At a themed party. She was the 'long cool woman in a black dress.' (A hit song at the time)

  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
    Within a few months. Both of us started getting confused about things we had and had not done together. We honestly felt like we had known each other all our lives.

  4. How long did you date before you got married?
    Ten months

  5. How long did the engagement last?
    Three months

  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?
    N/A

  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?
    Both of us are okay with it. Advice would be your spouse comes first. If an opposite sex friendship makes them uncomfortable, then it needs to end.

  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?
    Time together is any time we're not working. We both like arts and entertainment.

  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?
    Time apart is when we're working

  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?
    First year was bliss. Five year point was even better. The fifteen year mark was rough indeed.

  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?
    All the time now.

  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)
    No advice. Many years of our relationship have been virtually sexless

  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?
    Take an honest interest in your spouse's needs. Don't put them at risk.

  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)
    We both work. She teaches and I own a small business. I cook. We split cleaning. She keeps the books.

  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?
    Three. All grown.

  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?
    Nine years

  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?
    Wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. Marital happiness virtually ended though.

  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?
    No one is really ready.

  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
    Reach out for help sooner before hurt feelings had festered for decades.

  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?
    Love

  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)
    Talk about your problems. Don't ignore them and hope they'll get better on their own.

  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D
    Intelligent, Fair & Kind,

  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?
    Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. (Said mostly tongue in cheek.)
 
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  1. Your age and your spouse's age?

    mine 37, hers 30

  2. How did you first meet?

    i threw her friend out of a bar that i worked in. she walked in and stole my heart

  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?

    when i decided that she knew me better than anyone else, and accepted my faults

  4. How long did you date before you got married?

    about 4 years

  5. How long did the engagement last?

    about 1 year

  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?

    yes, for about 2 years

  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

    i was before. not anymore. at least, not OS freinds that are not well known and approved by both of us.

  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?

    as much as my work allows. usually we will take family walks, go to the park, and/or eat dinner as a family. i spend almost all of my free time (not much) with my family in one way or another.

  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

    my entire 8-12 hour workday, sometimes i will see them if i can make it home for lunch, or if i am just kicking around my shop.
    i train my youngest horse during my alone time.

  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?

    first year was bliss. 5 years the novelty had worn off, and we had hurt each other so much by then that it was dead. we are rebuilding from the ashes of that fvcked up pseudo-marriage. the old one is GONE.

  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?

    as often as possible. im on lockdown now beacause she just had our son last week. so 5-6 weeks with no nookie for naga. she still "takes care of me" *ahem*, if you will.
    we normally will have sex 3-5 times per week.

  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

    be honest about what you like and what turns you on. dont judge. be in love with your partner. treat them passionately (in bed and out).

  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

    communication.

  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

    i go to work. she is a SAHM with an 18 month old and newborn. i help with chores, but i do not do them all nor will i.
    i will wash dishes and do my own laundry and the occasional inside chore she cant get to. i handle all outside chores and indoor-outdoor construction/fixing. she cooks 80% of the time.
    i make the money, she pays the bills.

  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?

    2

  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?

    3.5 years

  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?

    they make for a lot less free time to pursue your own interests, at least (i would assume) until they start school.
    otherwise i find them a fantastic addition to our marriage.

  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?

    lol. my dad told me once when i was worrying about having our daughter "if you wait till youre 'read' to have kids, you wont ever have any".
    words of wisdom. but be in a responsible place, emotionally and financially.

  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?

    i would stay loyal and not take my wife for granted. ever.

  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?

    because we both want it to be.

  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)

    dont do anything stupid. talk. respect.


  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D

    my best friend

  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

    a partnership, not a sole proprietorship.

 

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I am posting this because I'm engaged :cat: but I have a few curiosities. Plus, I'd really love to hear other people's stories (especially the positive ones, for a pleasant change) and get some advice. (No 'research paper' :p hee hee.)
Please feel free to skip over any questions, I know they are rather personal, sorry :angel3:. And some might not be relevant to you.

Thank you for your time reading and answering and for sharing! :)

  1. Your age and your spouse's age?
    35 and 36

  2. How did you first meet?
    High school

  3. How/when did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person?
    Her best friend was dating a friend of mine and we hung out a lot. She was dating someone else but was always around. She was real fun to be around and an extremely nice person. Once she broke up with the previous guy we started hanging out more and more just the two of us. It just happened after that.

  4. How long did you date before you got married?

    5 years

  5. How long did the engagement last?

    1 year

  6. Did you and your spouse live together before you got married? If you did, for how long?

    No

  7. Are you and your spouse okay with both/either one of you having friends of the opposite sex? What advice can you give to newlywed couples about this subject?

    Neither one of us are comfortable with having exclusive opposite sex friends. We both have to be friends with the person. No hanging out exclusively. My advice, to much can go wrong so don't do it.

  8. How much time do you spend together? And what do you usually do during your time together?

    We are together about five hours on weekdays and all day most weekends. Usually running kids around to sports. Try to have a date night or lunch every week or two.

  9. How much time do you spend apart? And what do you usually do during your time apart?

    Usually at work when we are apart.

  10. What did marriage feel like the first year? In 5 years? 15 years? Now?

    First 5 to 10 years were tough. Probably not ready to get married but things are great now.

  11. How often do you and your spouse have sex?

    3-5 times a week.

  12. How have you maintained a satisfying sex life throughout your marriage? (Is there a secret? C'mon happily married people, SPILL IT PLEASE!)

    Make sure each others needs are met outside of the bedroom. Make sure you listen to your wife and hear her. Focus on her when your listening. Turn tv off. Workout together. And.....get a magic wand. Best purchase I have ever made.

  13. What do you think is the best way to prevent infidelity in marriage?

    See precious answer.

  14. What are your roles in your marriage? (By that I mean - who works? Who does house chores? Who cooks? Who handles the finances/budget? Etc.)

    Both work, do chores and cook. I handle handle finances.


  15. Do you have kids? If so, how many?

    2 kids.

  16. How long after you got married did you wait until you started having kids?

    Pregnant before marriage.


  17. How do children (or no children) affect marriage?

    Children can be the whole marriage. It's important to not let this happen all the time meet each others needs without the children.

  18. How did you know and your spouse know you were ready to be parents?

    When the test came back positive :).

  19. If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?

    Probably nothing. Everything we have been through was a learning experience.


  20. Why do you think your marriage has lasted this long/has been successful?

    I learned to listen and hear her.

  21. What's the best marital advice that you can share with young soon-to-be-married couples? :)

    Read the woman are from Venus and 5 love languages books.


  22. If you had to describe your spouse in 3 words what would they be? :D

    Kind
    Sexy
    Honest


  23. What's your favorite quote that you feel most applies to marriage?

Also attaching an anonymous poll with this survey.
 
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