My wife of 22 years (age 41) shows all the signs of a midlife crisis (excessive exercise, boob job, feels empty, new single and young friends, ...). We have 3 girls aged: 12, 10, and 6. Over the past few months tensions have been build between us on her 4-night/week outings to exercise (see my previous jiu jitsu thread). 10 days ago she gave me the "I love you, but I don't lover you speech". I was floored for 3 days. After searching and reading I decided to go into spy mode and monitored her FB, email, cell activity. She just recently started an Emotional Affair with somebody. I confronted her and gave her the choice of end all contact or leave. She left, but returned later at midnight to agree to end contact. She is now on a business trip and will return Friday.
I want to start implementing the advice from the book How to Survive Your Spouses MLC, but I wonder if it is too late? This is essentially what seems the 180 method.
I am still monitoring her email, and in a message yesterday, she for the first time mentioned divorce to her girlfriend.
I see much of the advice is to work on myself, to improve myself so that I can feel better about myself, maybe make myself more attractive to her, and if necessary be able to move on. But, I do truly love her, and I think a divorce would be bad for her, me, and our children.
Any advice/comments on how I should behave when she returns from her business trip are welcome.
My plan is to start thinking about me; especially about building my life outside of this marriage. She returns late Friday night. On Saturday I plan on doing a new activity with my girls of rock climbing in a local place. For Sunday after I plan on going sailing (which I do about once every other week). I also scheduled a message for Monday -- never had one and I need to destress.
I want to start implementing the advice from the book How to Survive Your Spouses MLC, but I wonder if it is too late? This is essentially what seems the 180 method.
I am still monitoring her email, and in a message yesterday, she for the first time mentioned divorce to her girlfriend.
I see much of the advice is to work on myself, to improve myself so that I can feel better about myself, maybe make myself more attractive to her, and if necessary be able to move on. But, I do truly love her, and I think a divorce would be bad for her, me, and our children.
Any advice/comments on how I should behave when she returns from her business trip are welcome.
My plan is to start thinking about me; especially about building my life outside of this marriage. She returns late Friday night. On Saturday I plan on doing a new activity with my girls of rock climbing in a local place. For Sunday after I plan on going sailing (which I do about once every other week). I also scheduled a message for Monday -- never had one and I need to destress.