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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Basically, my wife is a larger woman and has a low sex drive, never talks dirty, no movies, no toys, sex once every 2 weeks, and you get the idea.

I weight train and have a high sex drive, love to talk dirty, watch movies, toys, oils, sex almost every day and sometimes, 2 - 4 times a day, if my wife was similar like me.


Anyway, 2 weeks again of no sex, wife and I don't talk or do much together, room mates but no fighting. She goes to bed early, 9pm, Friday night. I come to bed later and start kissing her neck and ears, working my way down to her breasts and mid section. She rolls over and I start going down on her and I was down there for at least 20 minutes. She loved it!!! She told me she was so close to climaxing but that it's been quite the while, she didn't. We then did it together and I got her on top, 69 even though she was reluctant. I started pleasing her and she tried to squim away, so I grabbed her butt hard. She went crazy and couldn't even please me on the side. She got close to climaxing again but was already exhausted. Then we finished off, we'll I finished off.

That was 1 hour later............


To get your woman in that horny state of mind, to be in the mood, that is the hard part I've been trying to figure out for 13 years or marriage.

I've asked her, you want to try anal? She immediately says NO, exit only. I asked her, did you have a bad experience from the past? She tells me, no but it's still exit only. How do you know you'll hate it if you've never tried???

At least she is open to me having her feet. I like them because they're very soft, not because of the smell, taste or anything else.


Any advice on how to get your woman in the mood more? That's the million dollar question!!!


Today, I took the day off work for a holiday. Wife will come home, no dishes to do, kitchen clean, cat food and litter good, mail and newspaper good and fridge cleaned out. I will probably order food from her fav restaurant as a surprise before she gets home too.

Would that get a woman more in the mood or is it just a nice surprise and nothing else?:smthumbup:
 

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Keep up the gym activity and work on improving yourself all around, not just physically. This part of running the MAP has worked wonders for me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I've gone from about 170 lbs to 230 lbs and more than tripled my strength. I used to wear coke bottle glasses, got laser eye surgery and now have close to 20/20 vision. I've been told by the guys at the shop, I'm big and they all treat me different compared to when I was 170 lbs ish with glasses. So that part is good. I've had women from their 40's to early 20's interested and no I don't tell the wife that.

Not to sound stupid, but MAP???
 

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Male Action Plan from The Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay

It's doing wonders for my marriage (sex!)
 

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I giggled a little about a big dude with the User name cuddlebug. Good work on rocking your wife's world. Stay persistent about making sex a priority.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm CuddleBug because I like to cuddle with her after work, on the couch, under a cover almost every day. She layes on my side, I put my arm around her, talk a bit about our day, but not too much, watch tv and have a nap. I love a woman's touch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I ordered my wife's favorite food as a surprise before she got home from work and cleaned out the kitchen / fridge. She was very surprised and happy. Then I cuddled with her on the couch, with my arm around her and we watch the new episodes of Storage Wars. After that, I hinted, us time tonight? She gets mad, no, I have to make food for work and run the washing machine. It's only 7pm.........of course she can talk on the phone with her parents for 30 minutes and read a book until she falls asleep in bed. Same old low sex drive crap!!!!!! Why do I even bother????
 

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I would seriously try to get her in for a checkup...get blood work done to find out her adrenal and hormone levels. Sounds like they are low. My wife's testosterone and estrogen levels were low and the results from the blood tests came back in just a couple of days.
 

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you need to be able to give your wife an orgasm .....close is not going to cut it! no wonder she isn't interested very much.

when she said she was close you should have kept going until she went balistic !

I know if I didn't orgasm then eventually I would say why bother all the effort and no reward!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
When we first had sex from the beginning of our marriage, she wouldn't want me going down on her. Only Missionary, oral for me, maybe doggie. Now it's spoon, doggie, 69 if I push for it, she's on top and if I really push, she'll let me go down on her and she loves it. I have given her orgasms from going down on her many time before, but that didn't increase her sex drive. It was pretty much the same and I had to almost force her to allow me to go down on her and then it was okay or seemed to be okay and she usually had an orgasm and when she was climaxing, she tells me to quickly be inside her and cum..........I don't think that's the problem. I honestly think its her larger size and insecurity for all this but not taking care of herself either though and I'm constantly screwed.

I would love to go down on her every day after work but that's if she was actually in the mood.
 

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I ordered my wife's favorite food as a surprise before she got home from work and cleaned out the kitchen / fridge. She was very surprised and happy. Then I cuddled with her on the couch, with my arm around her and we watch the new episodes of Storage Wars. After that, I hinted, us time tonight? She gets mad, no, I have to make food for work and run the washing machine. It's only 7pm.........of course she can talk on the phone with her parents for 30 minutes and read a book until she falls asleep in bed. Same old low sex drive crap!!!!!! Why do I even bother????

This has covert contract written all over it. You do things she likes/appreciates and expect sex in return - all without talking to her about it.

I understand where this comes from and why you are angry. But, at the end of the day, you can't control how she responds. The only thing you can control is yourself and making yourself happy.

What hobbies do you have away from her? Many guy friends? I know you like cuddling, but could that make you look "needy" in her eyes? Make yourself scarce for a couple weeks. Go to the gym. Build a life outside of her. That's what makes you attractive.

She may or may not respond to the changes you make in yourself. Can't control that. When you get to that point, you make a decision on whether this relationship is right for you over the long haul. In the meantime, build the best "you" possible and let the chips fall where they may.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Not really covert contract expecting sex. I usually never initiate sex anymore because of the constant no, maybe later, gets somewhat upset, etc. I've pretty much given up and yes, I've done my own thing for a few weeks (no sex), many times and she notices this, gets upset, then pretty much forces me to have sex with her because of the distant relationship, only once though and then everything is supposed to be okay. Then 2+ weeks later, same old low sex drive again....13 years later of being married.

I don't get angry at her often and we don't fight much either.

I weight train, been a computer nerd since elementary school, like doing landscaping for our place, watch the latest movies, going for walks, etc.

See, if I knew she was one of those low sex drive women, I would of moved on before we were engaged, but I didn't know. I thought people change over time and for the better of the marriage and for each other. I have......she hasn't.
 

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I think that whenever you are aroused and ready to go you should let her know you are going to go take care of business and ask her if she would like to watch. I did this along with the other items in running the MAP and I am seeing progress. Half of the time, she decides to assist me, which ultimately makes me have much larger O's than if done all by myself.
This is by no means a replacement for intercourse, but it is conditioning my wife to my level of sexuality, whereas before, she had no idea how many times I took care of business on my own. She feels closer to me, knowing I have decided to share this time with her.
 
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