I'm at work and cant stop crying. My husband is laid off from work for the winter. He is laid off every year. We have a daughter who is 8 months old and i have two other children who are 14 & 12. I put the baby down last night at 8 and then i went to bed. It has been a long week and i was very tired. The baby start cying at 10pm. I get up and of course he is outside in the garage smoking cigs, drinking beer, and talking on the phone. This is daily routine. I get home form work about 2.30 and he instantly goes to the garage. I got really mad because i was tired and feel like he should be the one getting her because he's not working. I slammed the door in his face and it made him mad so he snatched the baby out of my arms and that made me mad and we ended up throwing a few things and then i slapped him across the face. I turn around and the two older kids are standing there. I asked him to stop because they were there and he said I dont give a ****. I feel like i've ruined christmas and traumatized my kids. I dont want this life and i know we're better than that but i dont know how to fight fair when youre sooooo heated. I cant control my emotions. When i slapped him i grabbed his glasses and now he has a scratch across his face that we're all gonna have to look at during christmas with the family. This is not what i want our relationship to be and i think i need to talk to the kids about it. But today i feel ashamed and broken.