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Discussion Starter #1
so I just wanted all you knowledgeable posters in the world of TAM out there to know you were right.......you should all pat yourselfs on the back numerous times......as you know from my previous threads I am lonely and not getting it in the bedroom.....so stupid me started an EA really I guess.....didnt realize it at first but pure sexual....EA ..... HA and he just dropped the bomb on me right now......that he will no longer talk to me etc.....you know the drill....and so do I

I am a dumb a** and should have known better it got me no where and still am alone with only tears in my eyes and feeling like a the failure I am !!!!!

So just wanted you all to know you are a great judge of character....you knew I would do it and you knew I would look LIKE a FOOL......and I sit here LIKE a FOOL...

TOPAZ
 

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And so you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. You made a mistake, hopefully you will learn from it.
Dont know if I can.....but will try ....I always feel so stupid.....my whole growing up life.....my whole adult life.....my whole married life.....its like......what the heck is wrong with you!!! all you do is f*** up.....

I have no one to talk to ..... not my H, I have no friends here, nothing....so here I sit....do I dwell? I guess I will keep reading TAM and hope I can get thru it and know I was stupid....and weak ...... and so trusting.....so so trusting.....
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Why don't you have friends? Everyone needs at least one good one.
I do have a great BFF but she would never understand this plus does not live here she lives back where I am from......long ways away!!!! ha ha such it goes......
 

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Stop beating yourself up, or bad things will continue happening to you.
It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, a bad cycle
I don't know the background to your story, but what I do know is that you were able to see exactly where you went wrong and admit it to yourself,
This is good.

Dust the dirt off your shoulder and move on.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Stop beating yourself up, or bad things will continue happening to you.
It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, a bad cycle
I don't know the background to your story, but what I do know is that you were able to see exactly where you went wrong and admit it to yourself,
This is good.

Dust the dirt off your shoulder and move on.
Thanks I am so trying.....this guy told me I was HOT when no one will not even my own H.....I am so trying I swear.....I will cry a few more tears....then that is it.....I am so DUMB he is married ...I am married....how stupid....:(

I will be fine I always am just had to get it off my chest because I was so mad and hurt.....but knew that I knew better know what I mean?
 

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Thanks I am so trying.....this guy told me I was HOT when no one will not even my own H.....I am so trying I swear.....I will cry a few more tears....then that is it.....I am so DUMB he is married ...I am married....how stupid....:(

I will be fine I always am just had to get it off my chest because I was so mad and hurt.....but knew that I knew better know what I mean?
I understand.
But sometimes " the heart is not so smart ."

But you must know to yourself that you are HOT. Yes its nice to hear it from your husband and any random guy.
But when you second guess yourself, and beat yourself up, you make it easier for guys simply to take advantage of your situation.
Its a bad , self destructive cycle.
What's important is what/ how we feel about ourselves.
Try to fill your life with positive friendships that can add value to your existence.
Shallow negative people will only continue bringing you down.
Happiness comes from within.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I understand.
But sometimes " the heart is not so smart ."

But you must know to yourself that you are HOT. Yes its nice to hear it from your husband and any random guy.
But when you second guess yourself, and beat yourself up, you make it easier for guys simply to take advantage of your situation.
Its a bad , self destructive cycle.
What's important is what/ how we feel about ourselves.
Try to fill your life with positive friendships that can add value to your existence.
Shallow negative people will only continue bringing you down.
Happiness comes from within.
I hope to get there someday where I believe that.....but no I am not there....have never been and that is my fault....not my H or this other guys.....

thanks again ......:D
 

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Discussion Starter #11
'
Why dont you start working out or something at a local gym that way you could meet some other gals or something ??
I work out at home.....have a treadmil....weights etc....thanks for the thought.....its ok....I just got to get my head out of my a$$ ha ha:rofl:

all my life I have been a tomboy....overweight...at one point I was like 375 lbs....I am now 186 at 5'9" so I have made major changes have about 50 lbs to go.....so I always was made fun of....but that is how I got my back bone....and would say screw u....but right now am just a little vulnerable....ha ha it will be good like I say head out of a$$:rofl:
 

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so I just wanted all you knowledgeable posters in the world of TAM out there to know you were right.......you should all pat yourselfs on the back numerous times......as you know from my previous threads I am lonely and not getting it in the bedroom.....so stupid me started an EA really I guess.....didnt realize it at first but pure sexual....EA ..... HA and he just dropped the bomb on me right now......that he will no longer talk to me etc.....you know the drill....and so do I

I am a dumb a** and should have known better it got me no where and still am alone with only tears in my eyes and feeling like a the failure I am !!!!!

So just wanted you all to know you are a great judge of character....you knew I would do it and you knew I would look LIKE a FOOL......and I sit here LIKE a FOOL...

TOPAZ
Sounds like you are a bona fide....

HUMAN.

Just like the rest of us.
 

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Crap...very sorry to hear. Your H is no doubt pizzed at you now. Give him a little space. Is he actually moving forward with a D now? Maybe the two of you could benefit from MC?
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Crap...very sorry to hear. Your H is no doubt pizzed at you now. Give him a little space. Is he actually moving forward with a D now? Maybe the two of you could benefit from MC?
He does not know.....it was an EA that involved sexual talk so if I am saying the wrong thing tell me not physical....maybe I dont know what I am talking about.....which again would make me dumb right????? like always.....it was pics...texting....all sexual.....and a few bits personal knowledge
 

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He does not know.....it was an EA that involved sxual talk so if I am saying the wrong thing tell me not physical....maybe I dont know what I am talking about.....which again would make me dumb right????? like always.....it was pics...texting....all sxual.....and a few bits personal knowledge
Oh...I thought you meant your hubby here - "HA and he just dropped the bomb on me right now......that he will no longer talk to me etc.....you know the drill....and so do I"

You F'd up, but you aren't dumb, so stop saying/thinking that. Hopefully you have cut ALL contact with the EA, right? You said he (the EA) won't talk to you, but that doesn't mean he won't reach out to you later. Again, sorry you're going through this.
 

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thanks that I am ..... a human....
It sounds like there was a sort of basis for the path you chose. Things don't happen out of nowhere. So instead of feeling horrible about what you did, take a step back and look, and see yourself at that time as someone with legitimate needs, and think about how you can help that person attend to them. Try to be open-minded. Feel what is healthy and what isn't. Every day try to do things that promote the person that is you, in the direction you want to evolve. The thing is to do more towards that direction than the other direction, on average, and to be observant rather than critical about any shortcomings you might notice. If you are critical of the perceived shortcomings, you won't be able to get close enough to them to see where they are coming from. Where they come from is a legitimate source, even if you think it is a bad place, usually it just arises from being human. But if you are afraid to go to that place, you can't gain any understanding. Everyone has two sides their 'evil' impulses like greed, paranoia, insecurity, oneupmanship, lust, etc. as well as all the wonderful attributes that we like to acknowledge so much more often. If you ignore this 'bad' side and don't get comfortable with knowing it, that's when it can take advantage of you. So don't let it. Be okay with what happened (this is different than saying it was a good thing), and you will gain a lot of knowledge of yourself that will give you more power (good power.)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Oh...I thought you meant your hubby here - "HA and he just dropped the bomb on me right now......that he will no longer talk to me etc.....you know the drill....and so do I"

You F'd up, but you aren't dumb, so stop saying/thinking that. Hopefully you have cut ALL contact with the EA, right? You said he (the EA) won't talk to you, but that doesn't mean he won't reach out to you later. Again, sorry you're going through this.
I asked him to erase all my s*** from his phone he said he did & I have done the same.....the sexual part or texting I had never said things like that ..... He got me good.....so embarrassed.....never been so embarrassed in my life.....
 
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