[walkingwounded]

I feel weird about this...

A few times recently, H has suggested putting on some porn to get warmed up for or during sex.

It is not so much that it is a big problem, but enough that I feel uncomfortable.

It is something we used to do and I was fine with. Since his incidence of a near EA with a co-worker, I have felt uncomfortable with it anyway. But as he has suggested it recently a few times, I guess I am worried it may mean he is not as turned on by me any more and needs outside stimulation to get going.

We have been married a few years but in our thirties, I am in good shape and look after my appearance. I guessI am wondering if it could mean he does not like me like that any more...Do guys do that?
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[underwater2010]

Maybe he thinks it will help you during sex. I know it is a turn on for me as much as FWH. That being said, I understand where you are coming from. LOL. I cannot watch romantic/comedy movies anymore as a lot of them revolve around love and/or infidelity.

 

[jaharthur]

Do guys do that?
Posted via Mobile Device

Sometimes.

But it should be mutually acceptable.

 

[dormant]

Maybe he thinks it helps getting you more into it. I went with that thought for some time, until my wife finally spoke up in therapy and said she didn't like it. Haven't done it since.

 

[Hope1964]

Well, many couples watch porn together. We used to, hubby likes to watch it while we make love and i used to too, but like you I have become uncomfortable with it recently and we've stopped indefinitely. He should be more than willing to do that if it's what you need.

 

[Relic]

Shame on him for cheating on you and causing these hang-ups. His fault.

My wife and I watch porn together prior to and during sex very often.

It has nothing to do with my not being physically attracted to her. We are 39 and her appearance is still my ideal fantasy woman.

We just watch it because it is fun and helps us both get in the mood and enhance the love-making experience.

The fact is there are many millions of men and women that are physically attractive in this world.

If your husband hadn't have had an affair on you, it may never have bothered you that your husband will see, throughout his life, women that are younger and prettier than you are.

Likewise for him. There are many men out there that are more handsome and younger and stronger than your husband. Yet, he doesn't seem threatened by them. Not that this matters, but if you think about it, if you really put yourself out there again, you could probably attract ten male suitors for ever one female suitor your husband could attract. You have not violated his trust and damaged him as he has done to you.

I know you have worked through the cheating mostly. But if you don't feel comfortable watching porn anymore with him, then he should be blaming himself. And he should not do anything you're uncomfortable with.

But to answer your question, watching porn does not necessarily mean that one has diminished physical attraction to his wife.

 

[lovetopleasewife]

I used to watch it sometimes with the Ex wife. It just added an extra element to experience. My now wife feels that watching any porn is cheating (even though she watched it with her ex husband). So we do not watch it together, nor do either of us watch any porn. I agree watching porn is not beneficial to the marriage.

I think since you feel uncomfortable with it, that he should respect that and not request to watch it during sex. Maybe you can ask him what fantasy he has and try to fill his fantasy so he knows you still want him to have a good time. Roleplaying is always fun, maybe it is time for the french maid to do some pipe cleaning.

 

[tjohnson]

I enjoy porn and wish my wife would feel the same way.

That said i wonder if the overwhelming majority of the time your sex did not involve porn if it were to change your thoughts on it.

It would seem that the EA brought out this doubt that you were perhaps "not enough" and now the "more frequent then you would like" request for porn induced porn is salt in the wounds.

Candidly i don't know alot about EAs but, just my .02