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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey TAM friends,
If you want to know the background look up my first thread 'My husband left me for an 18 year old student'
So I thought I'd give you an update about the creepy 18 year old OW. I'm 32 btw.. Anyways after my h left 9 months ago after the birth of our second bub, I haven't tried to contact the OW at all. As much as I'd like to destroy her, I didn't. It took some restraint, mind you. About a 2 weeks ago I received a text from her, stating she would like to meet up, and that she thinks 'it's time'. I ignored it. The next day I received 11 phone calls on my cell and home phone. I ignored it. The following day it was my stbxh day with the kids and when I saw him, he asked me if I received her phone calls, because she would like to meet up with me and talk. Ummm... no! I told him she's persona non grata to me and anything between me and him is just that. She does not exist in my world. We cannot divorce legally until mid Jan of next year, as much as I would like to NOW! Have to wait a year here. Anyways, she lashed out at me on FB apparently. I'm not sure the exact content, but it was something to the effect of her being happy because she will never be me + some other crap...
So 3 days ago i got a one line text from stbxh, 'just letting me know' that OW is moving in. WTF? This is completely mental. I simply answered him that I am paying for my dad's sins (he cheated on my mom when I was born, they are still together 32 years later-happy), and that our kids will have to pay for his sins, as he can't tell the difference between love and limerence. Again, the very next day more **** was posted- but I don't know what exactly, as I asked my friends not to tell me any details... had to do with stbxh being in love and happy in not so many words. I don't check fb anymore, I don't ever react, I'm just too tired mentally. Today, was stbxh day with the kids. He dropped them off. A half hour later I got a phone call, I picked up said hello.... just silence on the other line. I waited 10 secs and hung up. I can be my sunglasses it was her. She needs to back off. I cut my hair off completely 3 weeks ago. Guess who got a haircut? This is freaking me out. She's got the guy, she's living with him. I am completely replaced. What else does she want from me????? Both of them don't stop. I just want them to leave me alone. Stop rubbing this in my face, I haven't engaged with stbxh in any talks about her in a couple of months, nothing. Now this. A shiatestorm. Over this.What do you think this is all about??????
 

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That is beyond creepy... I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. I mean, what your STBXH did was bad enough but having to deal with some immature little girl he's hooked up with as well... I don't know how you do it!!!???

What gets me is is where the little girl posted on FB saying she'll "never be you" - but the way you explain it it seems that you're exactly who she's trying to mimic... CREEPY!!!!

With her childish mentality I can only assume that she is attempting to fill the role you once played in STBXH's life. Trying to make herself as good a carbon copy of you as she can because maybe in her mind it makes her feel more secure? Again, I only assume.

One way to take it is to remember that imitation is the best form of flattery!

I know that sounds bad - but think about it... this little girl seems really insecure with herself and her relationship with your STBXH (which she should be), she proves this in her childish actions - ie: going off about you on FB - really, acting like that she should really be in grade school - not high school. Her haircut that sounds like it mimics your own, her constant need for contect with you for whatever sick reason.

It it were me I would honestly just sit back and laugh. Revel in the fact that this little girl just cannot seem to keep your name out of her mouth, the fact that thoughts of you are obviously consuming her. If her and STBXH had such a loving and healthy relationship then you would be the last thing on her mind - so to me it seems that loving and caring relationship is a bunch of bs. You know what this little girl is and deep down I'm sure little girl knows what she is too and it seems that she's not too happy with the realization...

Good luck babe - you can always pick up a can of mace! You know, JIC...
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yah, I've just said it in the other forum, but my friend called me a few minutes ago outraged, because she still didn't defriend him (until now) and apparently he changed his relationship status to 'in a relationship' with ow. This is getting out of control and hyperactive. I said that on the other forum too, but it seems like either she wants me to flip out and never speak to him again (I am amicable for a while now), get me to beat the living shiat out of her so she can get a restraining order, go back to the us, or just kill myself. Not gonna happen. I feel like I'm getting a cognitive overload with their 'news'. I'm tired mentally and I need a break. I just want to shower, get this revolting crap off me, and read a book! I want a normal life. A normal single mom life. I don't want them in it. I just want to be left alone. No more creepy silent phone calls. Psychopaths, I swear. ****ing circus. I teach high school, I don't need to live in one.
 

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Can you block her # from your phone? Don't know what kinda phone you have but some still have the awesome block feature built into them. If it's an iPhone then I think you have to pony $ up to your carrier monthly to have them block the number.

Restraining order she wants, eh? If she became way too much for you to deal with (sounds like you're almost there) you could always turn the tables on her. There's something called "Trapcall" you might wanna look into that unmasks blocked calls, blacklists phone #'s and can even record convos - all of course for a monthly fee...

This chick sounds like a real piece of work - is STBXH as big a drama fiend as she is?
 

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Honeystly,

If she is moving in with him, doesn't that prove adultery? ...could you use that for grounds of divorce in order to speed up the divorce?

In my state, you have to be physically separated for 1 year prior to divorce. However, in the case of adultery, (if proven), you can file right away.

Wow.

what a horrible, horrible thing that little girl is doing. I wonder what her parents think of all this?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Her parents know and think she's a rocks star now and are super happy about it. WTF???? Australia has no fault divorce-nothing speeds up the process.
Expose? Well they just announced it to the world of FB! They are bragging about their 'love' to EVERYBODY. Sick. Twisted.
 

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Her parents know and think she's a rocks star now and are super happy about it. WTF???? Australia has no fault divorce-nothing speeds up the process.
Expose? Well they just announced it to the world of FB! They are bragging about their 'love' to EVERYBODY. Sick. Twisted.
I think they probably only know half a story.. I'm in a similar position with the troll's friends & family. I can only assume they are being told enough to make me look like a psyco and him to look like a poor downtrodden ex who is well outof it.. I mean you have no idea what crap they are telling people. My understanding is most people are outraged by this type of stuff. I've never met anyone who says get over it, most people blame the spouse & the POSOW..

I believe that my STBX is pretending not to be married, not even to have a child. But the lies will catch up with them eventually..

I'm rambling now aren't I ?
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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Hey Honey, I've been thinking about you lately. Glad you're doing better and can see through their BS:smthumbup:

Anyways, about your H and the OW.
Perfect life together? She can do no wrong in his eyes? She's better than you and praises him for everything? He loves her and is moving in with the love of his life?

Oh how I can't wait to hear what happens when she pulls off the mask and makes his life a living hell. A girl like this is either a fairytale come true or a living nightmare masquerading as the Disney fantasy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Nsweet, thanks for caring:) As for the OW I do believe that option B-living hell will be the outcome. I see this girl is capable of manipulation and cruelty, despite at the same time being young and naive. That doesn't bode well. This is precisely why I will just do nothing. I'm out of the drama triangle now, as far as I'm concerned. Right now it's honeymoon time, but she will smother him with her constant attachment. We never had that-I gave him space, and I needed space. So even if he likes that, he's not used to it at all.... plus he won't like that after a while. Who the hell would? Go to practice-she's there (joined his band), go to gig-there, home-there, there, there, there. Nope won't work.
I am better, however I am finding a new challenge. Me. The single me. It seems that all the women around (work, neighbors, etc.) are all of a sudden completely mistrusting of me. It makes no sense. I was the loyal one, the one who believed in the institution of marriage. Seems like all women think I'll go after their men now, as if I'm sort of man-eater. Where the hell did they get that idea? I don't talk to many men, I cut my hair off, I'm trying to be as asexual as possible, and I have very clear rigid boundaries.... How am I a threat????? It really hurts. I'm very honest about my lack of interest in men and my disgust in general, yet, they don't trust ME! For example, my new next door neighbor asked me the other day about a car in my driveway. It was my friend's husband, who my friend sent over to mow my lawn, as I simply can't do it. In return I lent them my lawn mover. My girlfriend is fantastic and her and her husband are my close friends (ZERO attraction toward her hubby). Yet my neighbor is convinced that I must be banging him. I told my gf about it and we had a good laugh. We even thought of staging some sort of drama filled altercation to make my neighbors day.... ****ing lame. If anybody knows about a pain cheating and homewrecking causes people it's me. I would never do to someone what was done to me. Even if the wife was a violent drunk. NEVER. I don't touch married or separated people. But now I have to deal with people thinking god knows what. All I want is a simple life with my beautiful children I devote all of my time to. ****, I went out twice this year (for my disastrous work-do and to a concert with my girlfriends). I have no time, no interest. Women don't seem to believe me. FUccked up. You just can't win. I won't pour acid on my face, that's not an option.... What else do people want me to do? Not exist? Thanks for letting me rant.
 

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You know what?

S(rew those chicks if they no longer trust you! You don't need them! Stick with the people that know you, are there for you and are your true firends.

As you've stated they have absolutely NO reason to assume you'd do anything to/with their husbands. And I tell you what, the only reason they're distrusting towards you now has nothing to do with you - more it has to do with those chick's own lack of self confidence and that is entirely their problem - not yours nor is it caused by you!

Don't let their actions get you down, frustrate you or even confuse you - ignore them!

You keep doing you, babe and don't worry about the rest!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Eternal Embrace, I will definitely try. Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's really hard to find myself in this new situation. Men at work act differently towards me too. Some avoid me, others are much more friendly than usual. I hate this. All of this. I hate being stuck in the middle of people's insecurities and mistrust. I stay away from people for that reason now. It sucks so bad. I get punished for being cheated on and left. Not furking cool...
 
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