Cris7 said: Some background information. I suffered depression after our youngest was born and wasn't the most supportive wife. I was sad most of the time and just didn't enjoy life. I did the bare minimum while my husband worked very hard. It's went on for 3 years. He says he feels that his love was just chipped away during that time and he's not sure how to get it back.
He recently turned 39 and he lost a very good friend to suicide. He said that made him look at his life and wonder if he wants to spend the other half of it unhappy. I came out of my depression a couple of weeks before he told me all of this. I feel wonderful. So much more energy. I've lost 25 lbs and am taking much better care of myself. His eyes started wandering and he has started flirting but has said he will stop to try and make it work with me.
Sounds to me like you are both trying... after both suffering things that would easily DESTROY a # of marriages ... definitely some resentment to climb out of here... I don't think I could personally survive a depressed spouse, It would drag me down into Hell itself.......I'd grow impatient and angry
...if I couldn't lift my lovers spirits.
In this way , I sympathize with your husband and how he HUNG ON during that time... 3 yrs would be a mountain of emotional draining to the even the happiest spouse coping. They would have to separate themselves & find Joy in other things.. I can so easily understand HOW his feelings were chipped away and love was lost in that...just saying.
I know we need to have compassion on the sufferer, but the spouses role is not an easy road by any means.
Then a friends suicide
[email protected]#$%^ I agree with Unbelievable's words here >>
His fault might be that he can sometimes have diarrhea of the mouth and he might have a tendency to be more honest than prudence would permit.
Cris7 said :I've lost 25 lbs and am taking much better care of myself.
This will greatly boost your confidence ...which will shine before others...Hang on to THIS for dear life... this is your answer with your husband.. Both of you pulling yourself out of these holes of sadness, striving to BE the best you can be....give & love each other the best you can... let him see what he will be missing if he chooses to leave... Give him a run for his money... Step it up in the bedroom too while you are at it.... Get a book like this >>
Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man:
All that sex is greatly emotionally bonding & fulfilling to the spirit .... His saying this "
but has said he will stop to try and make it work with me."... means his
is wanting to get back there ... Though it DOES sound like a
MID LIFE CRISIS brewing ... How old is he??
I'd suggest a book like this - to help you both stir the dopamine in your relationship. ....
Kosher Adultery: Seduce and Sin with Your Spouse: Books
If he steps out on you... or you feel taken advantage of, and you want to win him back... most would advise doing "
the 180"....but for now, that has not happened, you are just talking, he is being very honest with you. I think this is a good sign.... far too many husbands & wives step out on each other HIDING their true feelings...while such hiding & secrets FUEL their infidelities.