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Guys I need the male perspective; What does my husband's behavior mean?

1458 Views 4 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  [email protected]
Ok so, I stumbled upon this site while in a 6 month seperation from my husband of 2 years at that time. I needed to communicate with people dealing with similar situations. I have gotten a lot of great advice and at the end of the day I did what ultimately made me happy. He disrespected our marriage by cheating and bitter and hurt I set out to even the score which had me so guilty I had to confess it was what I thought was the end of him and I, Fast forward a year 1/2 later and we have now been back together for almost 9 months.

It was difficult at first but we are really doing it and even better this time then before. (so I thought) 7 years ago I bought my husbands phone, I have always had internet access to his usage logs. Since we got back together to satisfy my curiosity I started checking them and I found that number of the woman he cheated with and was with during our seperation. No phone calls all texts. I couldn't hold it in any longer I had to confront him he said she never stopped texing him once we got back together and he was chosing to ignore her since he was unwilling to change his number because so many distant relatives have the number. I checked the log again and it was 99% incoming but one or 2 outgoing so I confronted him on that. He brought to my attention the few times I have gotten a single text he sent 4 sometimes 5 times back to back he says he only sent one telling her that it was really over and other texts must have been like those glitch texts.

I didn't push any further becasue other then those text messages I had no reason to believe my husband was cheating. He is home all the time outside of work and on his days off he goes fishing and invites me every time. Since getting back together we have moved an hour away from our old neighborhood and currently his license is under suspension so there is no possible way he is making that commute to rekindle that affair.

Well ok again yesterday I went on the website and checked his usage and again many, many text messages from her over the last month and about 6 outgoing from him. I spent the entire night last night in solitude even though he was right next to me in bed. I don't think I uttered one word to him last night because I am at a lost for words... What could he possibly have to say to her besides leave me the **** alone I am back with my wife and I love her. I think he is thinking in his small ass mind its ok to text as long as there is no sex but he is sooooooooo wrong because the texting is how the sex started to begin with. This is the same trifling home wrecking ***** who had us on our way to divorce court, I feel utterly disrespected. Am I wrong in feeling there should be absolutely no communication between my husband and this woman.

Again I dread going home becasue I have to get this off my chest tonight. I am such a good wife to this man aside from the petty behavior I exhibited before our seperation when I thought the best way to make myself feel better after being cheated on was to pay him back in the same manner. I have grown so much since this thing happened I would never stoop that low again. I'd rather spend eternity alone then laying beside a man at night who has no respect for the commitments he made. The hardest part of this is that he now knows that I have access to his cell usage so what does it mean that knowing this he still has made the choice to text back.

Either he stops or I have to go and this time for good. I deserve better. I can't wait to hear this explaination. :confused:
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He should have no communication with her.

You should insist on getting the number changed.

He can send his new number to his distant relatives.

Or I think you could maybe have her number blocked from his phone.

You should also read the outgoing texts from the last month.
I agree that there's no reason for him to ever communicate with her again. He's either fully committed to you at this point or he isn't.

That said, you need to stop snooping. You either trust him or you don't. If you don't then your relationship has bigger issues than text messages.
Oh my God east2west if only I could I would love to read the outgoing, its burning me up to know if he actually responded how he says he did...... thats the only thing you cant do on tmobiles website is read the contents of the messages. :-(
trex I want to trust I really do but look what happened the 1st time I trusted and got cheated on, I just don't want to play the fool again. If I had of checked his use log and found no messages with her number on them I would have never gone back to look and probably would have actually felt like a fool for doing so but now that the seed is planted, with all I have said above can I really just wake up tomorrow and trust he hasnt given me any reason to. Jeeeeez marriage is not suppose to be this hard..
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