[tobio]

I'm looking to get some idea of how guys think here. Had a little issue come up which got me thinking...

Earlier on, me and hubz went out for tea. I was wearing a playsuit, with a cardigan, black tights and mid-length boots. I had my coat on over it. Thing is, my coat is mid-thigh length and buttoned up over my playsuit, well, makes it look like I don't really have anything on underneath. But I really do!

Hubz said something on the way to the pub. Paraphrased, it went like how I really shouldn't wear stuff like that, because people will think I'm slvtty, and it really doesn't suit me. I was taken aback because I've worn this outfit a few times, and believe me I am NOT looking to give off that vibe at all. To me, it was a cute outfit I dressed up for winter, and I didn't really think about the coat thing, I suppose because I know I am wearing something decent under it.

Got in the pub, sat down. Hubz told me, see, I told you, some guy was eyeing up your legs, I shot him the daggers to let him know I clocked him. Said again how I shouldn't wear stuff like that. Commented on a pencil-skirt dress I wore last week where he said I looked beautiful (didn't know he had an opinion as generally he doesn't really say.)

I was mulling it over as we chatted. Random chit-chat. He mentioned he'd watched a Transformers film after I fell asleep, got talking about Megan Fox after he gave a "look" when he mentioned her name. I said I didn't know he liked her.

Got back to the dress issue. I highlighted that I found it odd that he thought Miss Fox was rather nice when she goes round generally looking rather, well, slvtty, yet he says *I* look slvtty and that is BAD.

I was told there is a WORLD of difference. That it is a matter of respect. That basically it is okay for him to think that about her. But there is no way he wants to think that about me.

Okay guys... I think I get it. Just give me some clarity and insight into this thinking.

 

[deejov]

I'm not a guy, but I can answer this easily.
You are taken. It's important to him that you don't give off the impression that you are looking for attention from other males.
You are taken. Your goods are for his eyes only.
Pay careful attention to what he is saying. If he bothers to tell you that he doesn't like it when you dress that way in public, what does it hurt to listen? Save it for when you are alone.

 

[Cdelta02]

Megan Fox is in the business of making people look at her. You arent, unless you strip or pole dance, which even if you do, I assume you werent planning to do it at the dinner.

He is worried that you are fishing for male attention when you already have it from him. If it worries him, it should be something you care about. If you care about him that is.

 

[that_girl]

Well, if he is controlling how you dress, that's a big sign of ew.

If you always dressed like this and now he has a problem, that's a red flag.

There is nothing wrong with dressing the way you want to dress.

OH NO! A man was looking at your legs! Wtf country are you in? People look. Oh well. Your man looked or else you wouldn't be with him. You can't control others...but you shouldn't go around in a sheet either.

Do what you do. Really ask yourself why you dress the way you dress. If it's to get other people's attention (be honest) then stop it...or just tone it down. If it's because you LIKE TO WEAR IT, then stop letting your man control you. Is he always the way YOU want him to dress?? I doubt it.

Funny how he likes other women looking slvtty, but not his woman. Should you look doudy so he can fantasize about other women? Screw that. My husband likes when i look hot. He likes when other men look. He has said, "I'd worry if they didn't look! Who cares if they look! I get to TOUCH YOU!" lolol.

I can't believe the other advice given on this thread so far. Good grief. The OP has done nothing wrong.

 

[YinPrincess]

I agree with TG.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Emerald]

What is a playsuit?

 

[tobio]

What is a playsuit?

Like a dress, but the bottom half is shorts instead of a skirt.

Like this

 

[Emerald]

Like a dress, but the bottom half is shorts instead of a skirt.

Like this

Okay that is seriously darling!

You are a grown woman & should be able to wear whatever you want. If he doesn't like a particular outfit, so be it. But his reasons are controlling.

 

[FalconKing]

Like a dress, but the bottom half is shorts instead of a skirt.

Like this

I think this looks cute!

I see both sides of this. But I don't think a man being a bit possessive is a bad thing. As long as you don't feel like a caged bird. I also don't get the vibe he's super controlling. I think he made that statement sound too black and white. When it comes to style and attire, too many things to take into consideration. I think he should have spoke more about how he feels than the way you dress. Because I don't think you were trying to look like a **** and if he thought you dressed ****ty there was no way in hell he would have loved you and married you. I think Megan Fox is a physically attractive woman. But from how she portrays herself in the media and from what is revealed about her personally life, I do not respect Megan Fox. Perhaps your husband could have said this instead of "Yeah she's hot but a ****". Based on what you said I think the bigger issue is that your husband has trouble expressing himself and getting you to see things his way while being understanding of where you are coming from.

 

[SpinDaddy]

I think this looks cute! . . . .

When I saw “playsuit” I thought . . . . well never mind what I was thinking. The outfit pictured is perfectly fine and something fine upstanding women in Texas might be seen in on Sundays, with hose and before Labor Day mind you, but – ****ty . . . really?

 

[CrazyGuy]

I would love it if my wife would wear clothing like that. I would love to show her off knowing she only belongs to me. But everybody is different.

 

[Maricha75]

Hmmm... the day my husband and I got married at the courthouse, I wore something similar. I didn't wear pantyhose, just bare legs. OH NO! And yet, the lady magistrate who married us, and my PARENTS, as well as my husband... NO ONE thought i looked "slvtty". It isn't slvtty. He just doesn't like the idea of someone else looking at you.

 

[SoxFan]

Tobio,
As a male I can sort of see both sides to this. My wife has an outfit somewhat similar to what you were wearing and I remember once when she wore it she looked really sexy (but not ****ty in my opinion) and turned some heads while wearing it. Some guys don't mind it when their wives/gfs get some eyeballs on them when they are out but I'm more along the lines of your husband where I'm not crazy about it. I like her to look good when we go out......but not too good. I agree with deejov, I don't want any other male to think she is dressing to look for their attention.

 

[MEM2020]

T,
You want symmetry - you got it.

It isn't my place to tell my W how to dress. That said, she chooses to dress in a way causes other men to drool over her, then I feel perfectly comfortable staring at other women I find to be attractive while the two of us are out.

You create a situation where other guys pointedly give you sexual attention, you need to be ok with your guy pointedly doing the same to other women.

You can't possibly not understand that.

I'm looking to get some idea of how guys think here. Had a little issue come up which got me thinking...

Earlier on, me and hubz went out for tea. I was wearing a playsuit, with a cardigan, black tights and mid-length boots. I had my coat on over it. Thing is, my coat is mid-thigh length and buttoned up over my playsuit, well, makes it look like I don't really have anything on underneath. But I really do!

Hubz said something on the way to the pub. Paraphrased, it went like how I really shouldn't wear stuff like that, because people will think I'm slvtty, and it really doesn't suit me. I was taken aback because I've worn this outfit a few times, and believe me I am NOT looking to give off that vibe at all. To me, it was a cute outfit I dressed up for winter, and I didn't really think about the coat thing, I suppose because I know I am wearing something decent under it.

Got in the pub, sat down. Hubz told me, see, I told you, some guy was eyeing up your legs, I shot him the daggers to let him know I clocked him. Said again how I shouldn't wear stuff like that. Commented on a pencil-skirt dress I wore last week where he said I looked beautiful (didn't know he had an opinion as generally he doesn't really say.)

I was mulling it over as we chatted. Random chit-chat. He mentioned he'd watched a Transformers film after I fell asleep, got talking about Megan Fox after he gave a "look" when he mentioned her name. I said I didn't know he liked her.

Got back to the dress issue. I highlighted that I found it odd that he thought Miss Fox was rather nice when she goes round generally looking rather, well, slvtty, yet he says *I* look slvtty and that is BAD.

I was told there is a WORLD of difference. That it is a matter of respect. That basically it is okay for him to think that about her. But there is no way he wants to think that about me.

Okay guys... I think I get it. Just give me some clarity and insight into this thinking.

 

[countrybumpkin]

The outfit you described and showed to us is completely appropriate. It's not short enough to show your butt, you had tights on, and boots. You were covered. I could understand if you were wearing a dress that came up to your hooha and some boots that went up just as far.

With that said, it seems like your husband does have an issue with other men looking at you. In this case, I would almost take it as a compliment...almost. He sees that other men are taking interest and is genuinely bothered by the potential competition (though, you're already married...so I think the contest is over).

It does get annoying when you try to look good for your husband and he takes it as you're trying to look good for everyone else. I guess he only wants to see you that way at home.

 

[Cosmos]

Like a dress, but the bottom half is shorts instead of a skirt.

Like this

I'm way too old to wear something like that, of course, but with the right figure, black tights and knee length boots - I don't think that could be termed sl*tty.

 

[that_girl]

It's just nuts that if your women dresses cute/nice/attractive that it gives her man the right to oogle other women? THE EFF?!

So you want your woman to look like gramma when going out?

Eff that. MAYBE your woman dresses the way she dresses because she is showing off for you and likes the way she looks/feels when she looks cute/attractive etc.

YOU CANNOT CONTROL other people. If men look, oh well. Holy crap.

 

[FalconKing]

It's just nuts that if your women dresses cute/nice/attractive that it gives her man the right to oogle other women? THE EFF?!

So you want your woman to look like gramma when going out?

Eff that. MAYBE your woman dresses the way she dresses because she is showing off for you and likes the way she looks/feels when she looks cute/attractive etc.

YOU CANNOT CONTROL other people. If men look, oh well. Holy crap.

True. But if your spouse does something that makes you uncomfortable or you if don't like it you should have the right to tell them and hope that they stop doing it. Or at least take what you said into consideration.

With that being said, men are going to look at women no matter what they wear. If we can't see any skin we will just use our imagination. Unless you are dressing like Madonna or make it a point to always show cleavage and wear low cuts, it's just his insecurities eating up at him. We look at women, especially if we find them attractive. I was on a date with a woman and we were in the parking lot talking. Some guy drove behind her and was clearly looking at her butt as he drove by. She did nothing to invite that guy's attention except be attractive I fell out laughing:rofl:

 

[that_girl]

That's what I mean. The OP isn't dressing slvtty, but her husband is very insecure and then puts HER down disturbing and abusive.

But, he probably shot himself in the foot. I know that if my husband thought I looked slvtty because he thinks I'm dressing for other men, I'd be more self conscious and less likely to get freaky in bed. God knows what else he'd critique.

 

[FalconKing]

She mentioned he doesn't say much. And when he does it sounds like he can come off as abrasive and insensitive. Once again it just seems the issue is another man who communicates poorly with his wife:yawn2: