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Seeing her grovel and me telling her no would make me happy. Is that too much too ask for. Her children are her world makes my blood pressure boil.

She means her children are her world for 4 hours on Wednesday and every other weekend (if she don't have better things to do.)
This is a real feeling, and shouldn't be ignored. I know exactly what you mean, and I think the root is that she's the one that left you. She effectively said that there's something wrong with you, and that you can't have her any more. And if the positions were reversed, and she told you what a horrible mistake she made and she can't live with what she gave up, that would be very empowering.

Maybe you've gotten to the point where you wouldn't take her back anyway, but to have the person who's been in your life this long acknowledge your value would probably feel better. But don't confuse an ego boost with self-esteem. You can't rely on her making some gesture that makes you feel better. You can't wait for her to miss you to believe that you are worth being missed. You have to believe in yourself.

Personally, I've been really hesitant to try online dating. It sounds stupid, but part of the process is selling yourself with your profile, and if my STBXW or one of her friends saw it I feel like they would laugh. It shouldn't matter, but I don't feel good about being exposed to my ex that way.

Good for you for putting a profile up. I know lots of people who have found their soul mates that way. The past is prologue, your ex-wife's path is separate from yours. You can't change her, you can't correct her lies and misdirections, you can't make her face her failings and expose them to the world. You can only live for yourself.

One day you'll be happy, and when that time comes you'll want her to be happy too. Because you loved her.
 

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Reading other of your replies in this thread and others Gut I gotta ask cause this qualifies as one of the most effed up things I have seen here and that is saying something.

Is this right???

Wife meets some drug dude at rehab. They have an EA. You catch her RIGHT BEFORE she gets into her car to make her EA a PA--LITERALLY. You tell her not to go to the hotel to consumate the deal threatening divorce... She goes anyway AND to top it off not only ignores you ignores her maternal instinct when her child cries for mommy not to go to some "bad place". You spend the evening being cuckolded and you know it...

If roughly right. How did you find out? Did she say anything as she was leaving? Her excuse? Even any regret in the eyes?

Hope the best for you man. just WOW. Sorry you are here.
 

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Read most of this thread Gut. Random things.

1 read the top thread in my sig and SEE yourself there in a month or two.
2 It sounds like your circle of friends is smallish. More friends or being the "cool guy" friends of friends and house parties gets you three things. a) distraction get your mind off it b) the possibility of random poon and it WILL mend your shattered ego. Wont do squat for your heart but hey 1 is better than none. c) (yes I know in the future)The more friends you have the more chances you have of some friend going "Hey I know this dude who is uber cool" to Mrs. futuregutpunch. Yes you wont know it at the time but you will find love again.

Cant say I argue too much about being semi nice until the D is final. After that you dont have to be nearly so nice. When IS it final?
 

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Mrs. GP Order of Importance
1-her self
2-her friends
3-her delusions
4-her kids

WTF else needs to be said?

Curbside for you lil lady
she lost husband and two kids

I hope your nirvana is as plesant as you anticipated
honestly....nirvana is exactly what she needs
unless sh!t flows upstream
karma is Medusa on her period!
 

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Discussion Starter · #707 ·
Reading other of your replies in this thread and others Gut I gotta ask cause this qualifies as one of the most effed up things I have seen here and that is saying something.

Is this right???

Wife meets some drug dude at rehab. They have an EA. You catch her RIGHT BEFORE she gets into her car to make her EA a PA--LITERALLY. You tell her not to go to the hotel to consumate the deal threatening divorce... She goes anyway AND to top it off not only ignores you ignores her maternal instinct when her child cries for mommy not to go to some "bad place". You spend the evening being cuckolded and you know it...

If roughly right. How did you find out? Did she say anything as she was leaving? Her excuse? Even any regret in the eyes?

Hope the best for you man. just WOW. Sorry you are here.

Yep...you just summarized my life the last few months. I caught her thru the massive amount of text messages and was suspicious of the girl's weekend she had planned. Finally got a face with the OM number on DDAY. When she left, she said "I have to know if it's real?" Her excuse - We just drifted apart. Classic revisionism.

No regret. After the holidays, she was lonely and tried to R but I just think she was crying cause she was lonely. No true remorse.
 

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Discussion Starter · #708 ·
Read most of this thread Gut. Random things.

1 read the top thread in my sig and SEE yourself there in a month or two.
2 It sounds like your circle of friends is smallish. More friends or being the "cool guy" friends of friends and house parties gets you three things. a) distraction get your mind off it b) the possibility of random poon and it WILL mend your shattered ego. Wont do squat for your heart but hey 1 is better than none. c) (yes I know in the future)The more friends you have the more chances you have of some friend going "Hey I know this dude who is uber cool" to Mrs. futuregutpunch. Yes you wont know it at the time but you will find love again.

Cant say I argue too much about being semi nice until the D is final. After that you dont have to be nearly so nice. When IS it final?

I do need friends. Approaching 40 and have been married most of my adult life. I have lots of friends in my hometown. However, I moved away with the wife about 5 years ago and have not made any guy friends. Something that needs to be at the top of my priorty list.
 

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I do need friends. Approaching 40 and have been married most of my adult life. I have lots of friends in my hometown. However, I moved away with the wife about 5 years ago and have not made any guy friends. Something that needs to be at the top of my priorty list.
And shortly afterward there will be women with tiger tattoos.
 

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married to 40 sh!t jack excuse...............
sponsered by Women's Home and Garden
 

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I do need friends. Approaching 40 and have been married most of my adult life. I have lots of friends in my hometown. However, I moved away with the wife about 5 years ago and have not made any guy friends. Something that needs to be at the top of my priorty list.
Sounds like an OT road trip to LA...
(Lower Alabama)

I can bring some tattooed wimmen
 
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I do need friends. Approaching 40 and have been married most of my adult life. I have lots of friends in my hometown. However, I moved away with the wife about 5 years ago and have not made any guy friends. Something that needs to be at the top of my priorty list.
Random thought. She gave you a FRONTAL EGO ***AND*** HEART ASSAULT. It is not just your heart. She completely crushed your ego. The reason it is so hard for you to move on is you are trying to repair both.

Dude you CAN do this. You read that thread at the top of my sig right?

Go to the mirror and PICTURE YOURSELF on May 4, 2013:
1) You are at a house party.
2) You see a medium attractive 32 year old with some friends. You do a ring check. NONE!
3) She sees you and gives you that shy smile.
4) She is only with one friend so you boldly go over and talk. (Your weenie wont fall off if she politely says no. Your weenie wont fall off if she says you are the ugliest POS she has ever seen. If she gave you a flirt smile there is a probability that she will at least talk to you which will up your confidence... and she might just fvck your brains out!
5) She's in to you but broke up 2 mos ago and is not ready to have a relationship.
6) You are all buff from going to the gym and she is horny.
7) One thing leads to another and you have sex.
8) Suddenly you feel like a new man JUST LIKE THAT THREAD. EGO repair COMPLETE! YES you are attractive, yes you are worthy. Now only having to heal your heart it will go MUCH faster...

9) Nov 2, 2013 Heart repair complete. There are a few triggers but they are rare now. Days are mostly good and you love your sons Football.
10) You are at another house party.
11) You notice a pretty 31 year old. You smile, she smiles back.
12) Her name is whatever your favorite name is and you cant help but love her smile and her eyes not just the good stuff that is covered by a bikini. There is JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER that attracts you to her but you cant figure out what exactly (Its basic chemistry at work, you are very compatable. That is your gut giving you the green light)
13) Shes a single mom of 1. Divorced due to her husband cheating 4 years ago but has healed.
14) She is smart, funny, has a job, makes decent money, and her child has given her a good grounded personality...
blah blah blah
21) Having been here on these boards helping men timewise behind you just like you recover, with you now at 8000 posts you make an announcement. In 8 months you are getting married. Take note betrayed spouses you can recover.
22) You marry her on May 2, 2015. You fvck 9 times a week. Your balls sometimes ache from over use. She is totally into you and loves you with surreal but not clingy intensity. Since TAM boards has made you a far stronger man... She dies at old age as your wife never having given serious thought to cheating.
23) You die as an old man. Your last thoughts. Except for a rough year back 2012... My life was good, no regrets.

Picture it. You are happy... Tell yourself this everyday and MAKE it happen. You are NOT too old. Get going on expanding your friends circle. Baseball, camera clubs.. Take a non-club dance course at the local CC where women usually massively outnumber the men. Take a cooking class.

I also get the feeling once you get some random poon and it WILL heal your ego, your heart will heal faster because it is the last thing left.

???So this woman basically said "I am going to a hotel to fvck Fred Flintstone to see if it is real, leaving you with thoughts of "is she naked yet? Has he penetrated her yet?"????

I think I would have had to go to that doc.... site to find much sicker than that. You probably have some PTSD going on for such a frontal ego and heart assault.

BTW sorry to say and lets be very clear. MOVE ON, going to consumate an EA IN FRONT OF YOUR husband with you !!!KNOWING!!! and child is just sickening. She is broken. Get her the hell out of your life.

RUN FOREST RUN!!!!! Finish the D. Go to the gym. Buff up and follow the plan.
 

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Random thought. She gave you a FRONTAL EGO ***AND*** HEART ASSAULT. It is not just your heart. She completely crushed your ego. The reason it is so hard for you to move on is you are trying to repair both.

Dude you CAN do this. You read that thread at the top of my sig right?

Go to the mirror and PICTURE YOURSELF on May 4, 2013:
1) You are at a house party.
2) You see a medium attractive 32 year old with some friends. You do a ring check. NONE!
3) She sees you and gives you that shy smile.
4) She is only with one friend so you boldly go over and talk. (Your weenie wont fall off if she politely says no. Your weenie wont fall off if she says you are the ugliest POS she has ever seen. If she gave you a flirt smile there is a probability that she will at least talk to you which will up your confidence... and she might just fvck your brains out!
5) She's in to you but broke up 2 mos ago and is not ready to have a relationship.
6) You are all buff from going to the gym and she is horny.
7) One thing leads to another and you have sex.
8) Suddenly you feel like a new man JUST LIKE THAT THREAD. EGO repair COMPLETE! YES you are attractive, yes you are worthy. Now only having to heal your heart it will go MUCH faster...

9) Nov 2, 2013 Heart repair complete. There are a few triggers but they are rare now. Days are mostly good and you love your sons Football.
10) You are at another house party.
11) You notice a pretty 31 year old. You smile, she smiles back.
12) Her name is whatever your favorite name is and you cant help but love her smile and her eyes not just the good stuff that is covered by a bikini. There is JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER that attracts you to her but you cant figure out what exactly (Its basic chemistry at work, you are very compatable. That is your gut giving you the green light)
13) Shes a single mom of 1. Divorced due to her husband cheating 4 years ago but has healed.
14) She is smart, funny, has a job, makes decent money, and her child has given her a good grounded personality...
blah blah blah
21) Having been here on these boards helping men timewise behind you just like you recover, with you now at 8000 posts you make an announcement. In 8 months you are getting married. Take note betrayed spouses you can recover.
22) You marry her on May 2, 2015. You fvck 9 times a week. Your balls sometimes ache from over use. She is totally into you and loves you with surreal but not clingy intensity. Since TAM boards has made you a far stronger man... She dies at old age as your wife never having given serious thought to cheating.
23) You die as an old man. Your last thoughts. Except for a rough year back 2012... My life was good, no regrets.

Picture it. You are happy... Tell yourself this everyday and MAKE it happen. You are NOT too old. Get going on expanding your friends circle. Baseball, camera clubs.. Take a non-club dance course at the local CC where women usually massively outnumber the men. Take a cooking class.

I also get the feeling once you get some random poon and it WILL heal your ego, your heart will heal faster because it is the last thing left.

???So this woman basically said "I am going to a hotel to fvck Fred Flintstone to see if it is real, leaving you with thoughts of "is she naked yet? Has he penetrated her yet?"????

I think I would have had to go to that doc.... site to find much sicker than that. You probably have some PTSD going on for such a frontal ego and heart assault.

BTW sorry to say and lets be very clear. MOVE ON, going to consumate an EA IN FRONT OF YOUR husband with you !!!KNOWING!!! and child is just sickening. She is broken. Get her the hell out of your life.

RUN FOREST RUN!!!!! Finish the D. Go to the gym. Buff up and follow the plan.
Friggin awesome. Will you do my horoscope next please :smthumbup:
 

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Could be my all time favorite post.
which post?

Anyway I want you to do that exercise every damn day. Visualize yourself as that man then make it happen. This healing time is perfect for buffing up mentally and physically.

IF you read that thread from beginning to end I mentioned you get to see the transformation. Yes you got hit ALOT harder. I get it. Im trying to think of worse anticipated thoughts than "Is my wife naked yet" and "has he penetrated her yet?" Which I assume you had. All I can come up with is family dieing. So yes your road is longer.

Try places like alphagameplan and sosuave. Dont read everything into it but they do contain nuggets. LOTS OF THEM. Just do not overuse to the point of being cheesy.

edit 444. You sound like you have some money and more rooms than you need. Hit Sears for a real weight set (~2" bar not 1") and hit it hard.

Edit 445. add 17) She made you wait for sex for 5 weeks but showed up at your place wearing a coat which made no sense as it was warm out. It turns out she only was wearing the coat and a smile. 2 minutes later only a smile.... 4 exhausted hours later, you are holding her naked body as she dozes in your arms. It was different. Better... more intense...
 

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Weightlifter that was hilarious. Got a good laugh for the day just what I needed. Thank you.

GutPunch I'm right there with you about needing male friends right now. I have a few but they are married constantly busy with their own lives, which I completely understand.

Hang in there you will get through this and remember don't blame yourself for this, it's the life she chose. I'm pretty sure my wife has got an OM also. But of course she gets mad at me for every little thing I do. Walking on eggshells not knowing which one will break. Meanwhile back at the bunny ranch she's having her cake and eating it too.

I really don't want to get involved with a woman now. I feel like it would just complicate things. So I'm really looking for new male friends maybe who can relate. This forum has definitely been helpful. Thanks everyone.
 
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