[0205Qeve]

I've been married for 12 tooo LOOONNG years. My husband in the last 3years was officially told by Emory Univ. doctors he is a sufferer of major deppression and anxiety. Not surprised about that given his behavior and his mom was told she was bordlerline personalities. I have a 10yr old son who has Aspergers and that I home school and he displays certain traits of anger. I'm suffering from illness myself and I cannot live my life this way. Its like having two overly needy kids. Literally my husband requires I tuck him in at night since he goes to bed early.

We agreed to get a divorce we tried marriage counseling 3times, two times spirtual and the last through insurance. When we came to the 3rd counsler. He asked what happened the other times? DH said oh I thought she would learn love and accept things as they were. I was emotionally done and on top of things he chocked me over a fight we had about him setting up dating profiles on the computer.
I was walking by him when he kicked me and when I told him to apologoze he said he didnt need to say sorry to a ***** he hated. I was fed up and told him if he didnt I would pour the the glass of tea I was holding into the computer. He said I wouldnt bc i wasnt ****... and so I did. Then he lept up and slammed me to our bed to choke me. when 2mts of counsling went by the man said he thought we should seperate and divorce. He said to my husband that everyone has an emotional line that once crossed their is no returning from. And weither he was sorry or not he could not control ever getting my love back . He said bc of my past dealings with violence it seemed only right I'd be cut off from him and felt that I would be emotional fine with out him. But told my husband to go to Emory Hospital bc he felt he needed help.

I thought him seeking help would help him be mentally strong enough to handle things. But now he wants to neogatite me not divorcing saying lifes not perfect and that I should accept things and him. And I cant I dont hate him but being near him and his yo yo moods is what I cant take. He has road rage so bad that he gets out and pounds on ppls cars , if he speeds and I ask him to slow down he will yell that its car and tell me to shut the F..k up. He has snatched my sunglasses off my face and thrown into the highway.

I just found out this week he isnt taking his medications any longer and is pursuing getting a gun. And now I'm very nervous. I contacted his doctor to inform him that he wasnt on his meds. and to ask him if his mental illness would stop him from getting a gun? Because I needed to begin planning what i should do or options I have. I asked him how concerned I should be? But it was like I couldnt get anywhere with his doctor. So Im my own. I sent out notes basically summerizing things and saying if something happens to me or my son it was my husband that caused it . There were noterized to my cousin and sister and emails along with previous photos of bruises

I dont know what steps I should take. I'm considering getting a permit. I just need to move on with my life

 

[0205Qeve]

When i say I have illness i mean that I have pain from an illness and I may be facing cancer

 

[trey69]

Divorce proceedings IMO need to be started. This is not a healthy situation, its clearly damaging to all, and dangerous. He has already displayed physical and verbal abuse, and now he wants to get a gun. Mental illness or not, he is not thinking clearly and putting himself and you all in danger. IMO, you need to take your child, and leave. If its not possible then you need to alert the police of whats going on and they will remove him and get you a restraining order. Also, no matter what he does or says, YOU are NOT responsible for how he feels, his reaction to things or the fact he has some kind of mental issue going on.

BTW, most people who are just anxious/depressed are not going to go to the extremes he is with the whole gun issue unless he has other things going on as well. Bipolar and/or BPD come to mind.

 

[cloudwithleggs]

He'll get a gun the non legal way, no rules there, my estranged owns all sorts of guns and he is not legal at all.

Please take extreme caution as you are in a seemingly precarious position.

Trust your gut instincts, tell him nothing, plan to escape safely.

 

[0205Qeve]

I've taken a pretty good paying job that I can work nites at home while my son sleeps. Its in an odd field but its the best way. I won't be alarming my DH to my where abouts or changing my sons routine since he is Special Needs. I need to put away money, make sure I'm healthy and strong, and no more bringing up divorce until I've left. And I'll be working on getting a firearm legally and learning to use it.

I am worried about my Detective brother in law who lives in the same state ,helping my DH. He hates me a lot and feels I need to be put in my place. So I don't know if he will just say " **** that ***** its good she's gone" and let things play out, or will he assist him. I dont know.

I don't want to go home and endanger my father or my sisters family. I traveled home after a fight and he followed me, so he'd look there. And I don't want a repeat of the Jennifer Hudson inncodent.It will be a day at a time for these next few months I suppose. It makes my nerves unwind and want to vomit

 

[trey69]

Who is home with your son while you're working nights?

 

[Cherry]

Who is home with your son while you're working nights?

OP says she works at home.

OP - is there anything you can go to the police with about this? Written proof of threats, prior run ins with the law? Anything you can file an order of protection over? He will still be responsible for helping with finances that way, until you can figure out what to do with all this.

 

[CallaLily]

I have a 9 yr old nephew who has Aspergers as well, so I can relate to what you're meaning about change. It upsets them greatly, and I can understand how you would want to proceed slow with things, not just because of your son but other things as well. However, sometimes you don't always have a choice to proceed as you want. Sometimes you have to act now, especially if danger and guns could be involved. You need to notify your family and have plan soon.

 

[0205Qeve]

@Trey I'm at home with him. I'm in the home office and I put him to bed at 9pm. So it works out good. His brother got him off on a hit and run incodent that happened last yr. The guy waited a wk to report it and then wanted to seek injury damages. And when the cops question the guy to why he waited so long and the guy had record and warrants and was arressted. So it was the word of my Veteran Husband with his detective brother backing him.

 

[Cherry]

@Trey I'm at home with him. I'm in the home office and I put him to bed at 9pm. So it works out good. His brother got him off on a hit and run incodent that happened last yr. The guy waited a wk to report it and then wanted to seek injury damages. And when the cops question the guy to why he waited so long and the guy had record and warrants and was arressted. So it was the word of my Veteran Husband with his detective brother backing him.

At the very least, I would file something with courts for some kind of protection. You are sending out letters indicating something drastic could happen at the hands of your mentally unstable H. And you have a son to protect. If he has a medical history of mental issues, then I would file an order of protection with the court asking for a mental evaluation of your H. They can also test to see if he's following his prescribed meds correctly. His brother can only help in to a degree in the family court system.

IMO, you and your son are in a very risky situation.

 

[0205Qeve]

When I spoke to a lawyer who works with domestic voilence yesterday she said that I can get a protective order but it would be best served after I leave. She said she didnt think it would be a good idea right now with him knowing where I live at. And that since he is getting medical help through the Emory Medical Univ. Mental Research she wasn't sure how forth coming they would be. Bc he was volunteering. So he doesn't have a long medical history to report on. My old computer was messed up that had some old pics so all i have are 3pics of a bruised arm and neck. Iwas thinking of getting a recorder just in case he does say anything that i can use though.