I'm a wife of over 12 years. I met my husband when I was 15 dated off and on and married at the age of 21. I never really had a longterm relationship outside of my relationship with my husband. I've always been faithful up until 2 years ago. My job had changed and I've been traveling. I took my first trip overseas and met some individuals within my company from all over the world. While on the trip, I found myself caught up in a relationship with someone older. I slept with this person on this trip, twice. We e-mailed for a couple months and then I ended it...or so I thought. We saw each other at another work event and it started up again and has since happened at four other work trips. I thought this person could help me get through some rough times with my husband. For a while I even imagined leaving my husband for this other person. I'm now certain that is not what I want. Regardless of whether I'm talking to this person or I'm conversing with my husband I feel very lonely inside. I think it's just me. We've talked alot about our marriages. Yes, he's married too, and we both have kids. In fact, I met one of his kids on one of the trips. And yes, I feel horribly guilty. Although, he did say he's getting a divorce,...but I've told him that I do not plan on divorcing my husband. I'm unhappy in my marriage, I don't know if I love my husband romantically anymore. I'm forcing myself to stay for our children's sake, and for our parents sake...they would be devastated if we separated. I'm willing to seek counseling, to try and reconnect...but I'm terrified of admitting what I've done to him. He's my best friend, and I'm angry with myself for hurting him. I'm also seriously contemplating leaving him and just trying it alone for awhile. I'm starting to resent my husband for how guilty I feel, and I find myself focusing on all of his flaws, it's not fair to him, he deserves more. I'm really not a horrible person, I'm sorry for what I've done...I don't know how to make amends...I wish I could turn back time and not have made these decisions, and maybe I would feel differently. I want someone to tell me it's okay not to admit to my husband what I've done...I love him, even if I do leave him, I don't think I could ever tell him. Please share some words of wisdom.