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1,572 Posts
It has been now 5 months since I moved out. The divorce is final. Things have been rather smooth for me. Self discovery without dealing with the chaos I faced everyday at home is enlightening. When I first began on the move out thing, my hope was that we could still do things with the kids together. We did a few times, but I realized that I don't want that.
The long process of emotional detachment is just that....long. I had done so many actions showing love over the two years of in house separation that I was very much connected emotionally. On one hand, it shows you therapy works. If both people commit to it, actions turn into emotions. On another hand, it truly sucks when one person sits in therapy and makes admissions to how amazing you are and what you've become they just don't love you anymore and are unwilling to try, of course those admissions are made by the counselor prodding her.
So, the point? I have been doing really good at showing nothing but business to the ex. I walk in Sunday to bring the kids back. I washed and folded their laundry from the weekend, and she proceeded to thank me and just shower me with praise of how much it helps her and it is so awesome. WTF! I thanked her and walked out after hugging the kids. I don't think she noticed what was going on inside me because I've learned to keep the wall up. In a few words, the wall was gone. 2 years of nothing from her...Now you want to give me words of affirmation? Is this some type of game?
The long process of emotional detachment is just that....long. I had done so many actions showing love over the two years of in house separation that I was very much connected emotionally. On one hand, it shows you therapy works. If both people commit to it, actions turn into emotions. On another hand, it truly sucks when one person sits in therapy and makes admissions to how amazing you are and what you've become they just don't love you anymore and are unwilling to try, of course those admissions are made by the counselor prodding her.
So, the point? I have been doing really good at showing nothing but business to the ex. I walk in Sunday to bring the kids back. I washed and folded their laundry from the weekend, and she proceeded to thank me and just shower me with praise of how much it helps her and it is so awesome. WTF! I thanked her and walked out after hugging the kids. I don't think she noticed what was going on inside me because I've learned to keep the wall up. In a few words, the wall was gone. 2 years of nothing from her...Now you want to give me words of affirmation? Is this some type of game?