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I have been married to my husband 4 just over a year now, and he is the most amazing, trustworthy man who loves me no end i know that but lately we have been bickering more and more and i dont know what to do about it, obvioulsy i dont want to do anything drastic like consider divorce as i know i will never find anyone like him ever again

we have 2 little girls a 5 yrs old and a 4 month old and i guess we have had a whole lot of streess added with a new baby around.
the way i feel at the moment is nothing has changed for him he still has the same life he had before while mine has changed so much , i love our girls very much dont get me wrong...

I am getting upset that we dont seem to have anything in comman any more except the girls i can not remember the last time we did anything together a husband and wife, or evn just friends we seem to just go and do our own individual things ( although i am some what retricted) and as much as try to look happy when he walks out the door to go do something (like today) i am wishing inside that he would invite me just once and organise a baby sitter. we have talked about it but it ususally ends up in an argument so these days i just leave it kiss him good bye and go change nappies and do washing...

any advise on what we could maybe do ??????/?
 

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After our first was born I went through a time where I didn’t feel loved and appreciated by my wife. I felt on the outside because her bond was so strong with him. All her energies focused on his needs. It may sound selfish but is not uncommon for new fathers to experience this kind of feeling. Additionally I believe that there were still hormonal issues to some extent with her. Add sleepless nights for us both additional stress with a new baby and zap you’ve got a potential powder keg. Time as a couple is so important to keeping you close and connected. If every time you discuss it, it becomes an argument you need to analyze how you are presenting it to him. If he is just unwilling to listen you need to get him to realize your concerns for your marriage. Getting a sitter and getting out is a great idea and since this is your second child leaving the baby should be easier than it was with the first. If you had common interests before but have stopped doing them, restart them. Communication will be important here and you need to let him know how much you miss him for one on one time. If your sex life has returned to normal physically encourage that so the both of you can feel wanted and loved. He sounds like a wonderful guy but if you continue to drift things will be so much harder to fix down the road. The word of experience here for me I’m afraid. Keep working toward time together without the kids and get reacquainted. Best of luck to you both.
 
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