My wife left me this year after having her second affair, only this time she got pregnant. She moved into a rental home and I thought she was going to be happy since she now has her own place and a new man. She has complained of being depressed and lonely. She said the other guy was going to step up and be there for her but my gut says he isn't do so, or why would she be depressed and lonely. Financially things are rough too because she runs her own business and barely makes enough to pay her bills. Fortunately she is not asking me for any money other than the car payment and I will continue to support our son without court orders. I am upset about how our marriage has turned out but I am glad she isn't dragging me through a legal battle. I retained the attorney and will be getting the settlement and divorce papers issued. It sucks for me to be single in terms of taxes but for her with a new baby she is better of being single to get state financial aid. I doubt this other guy can truly be there as much as she wants because he has other kids and other baby mamas to deal with.
On one hand I am somewhat glad to see her suffering for her decision but I also feel she doesn't have the right to be depressed. That may sound stupid but I think it was stupid of her to plot and plan her exit of the marriage but then only to put herself in a worse position. I think the pregnancy is what has her messed up the most. She resented me for not wanting more kids and eventually a doctor said she couldn't get pregnant again due to reproductive health issues, but she still conceived despite using birth control. I think it was God's way of finally telling her to sit down and stop screwing around. If she had not gotten pregnant I think she would have continued to carry on the affair instead of leaving but she knew I would not be able to forgive and reconcile a pregnancy by the affair.
I did start seeing a counselor to vent some issues instead of talking to family and friends about it. What I found strange is that the counselor asked a few times about whether I would consider reconciliation. I was surprised to hear that. Yes I do miss the woman I married but I was willing to let the first affair go but this time my wife said she wanted to leave. At first she said she couldn't be the woman I needed and it wasn't fair to keep dragging me down. A week later she told me about the affair and pregnancy. I don't want her to struggle but I think the days of us as husband and wife need to end.
One good thing about me is that I am an introvert. I always felt it was a curse but the positive thing about it is that it has kept me out of a lot of drama and allowed me to lead a peaceful life. I was not a very emotionally supportive husband but I kept a stable home, made sure all of the bills were paid, and let me wife live out her life despite my insecurities about what was going on. She is a big extrovert and always needed attention from people and that made cheating very easy for her. I also had interests in having my own affairs but the built-in introverted programming kept me focused on my job and home and not seeking out other women.
For now I am being still. This summer I am going to relax and enjoy some trips with my son. August through November will be very busy months with work on a major project and I can't afford to be distracted. I did try to do a lot of social things over the past month but it became exhausting and expensive. But eventually I need to get into the dating game but really need to decide what I want in my next relationship. The major thing that went missing with my wife was friendship. We had great fun prior to marriage but when real life hit it all went downhill. I'm much wiser now and know myself better and really need to decide if I am true husband material or not.
On one hand I am somewhat glad to see her suffering for her decision but I also feel she doesn't have the right to be depressed. That may sound stupid but I think it was stupid of her to plot and plan her exit of the marriage but then only to put herself in a worse position. I think the pregnancy is what has her messed up the most. She resented me for not wanting more kids and eventually a doctor said she couldn't get pregnant again due to reproductive health issues, but she still conceived despite using birth control. I think it was God's way of finally telling her to sit down and stop screwing around. If she had not gotten pregnant I think she would have continued to carry on the affair instead of leaving but she knew I would not be able to forgive and reconcile a pregnancy by the affair.
I did start seeing a counselor to vent some issues instead of talking to family and friends about it. What I found strange is that the counselor asked a few times about whether I would consider reconciliation. I was surprised to hear that. Yes I do miss the woman I married but I was willing to let the first affair go but this time my wife said she wanted to leave. At first she said she couldn't be the woman I needed and it wasn't fair to keep dragging me down. A week later she told me about the affair and pregnancy. I don't want her to struggle but I think the days of us as husband and wife need to end.
One good thing about me is that I am an introvert. I always felt it was a curse but the positive thing about it is that it has kept me out of a lot of drama and allowed me to lead a peaceful life. I was not a very emotionally supportive husband but I kept a stable home, made sure all of the bills were paid, and let me wife live out her life despite my insecurities about what was going on. She is a big extrovert and always needed attention from people and that made cheating very easy for her. I also had interests in having my own affairs but the built-in introverted programming kept me focused on my job and home and not seeking out other women.
For now I am being still. This summer I am going to relax and enjoy some trips with my son. August through November will be very busy months with work on a major project and I can't afford to be distracted. I did try to do a lot of social things over the past month but it became exhausting and expensive. But eventually I need to get into the dating game but really need to decide what I want in my next relationship. The major thing that went missing with my wife was friendship. We had great fun prior to marriage but when real life hit it all went downhill. I'm much wiser now and know myself better and really need to decide if I am true husband material or not.