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According to a message from my wife, my mother, who has been working very hard at ruining her life with incredible success, told my 15 yo son that if she had a gun she'd end it all.

I am half a world away and I have no idea where she is and what is going on with her. I can't bring her into my house because she says horrible things to family members ALL THE TIME.

If she moved in, she'd damage my kids and I'd probably be divorced. She has recently had to move since a financial falling out with her latest victim and I offered to help her with living arrangements (a house or apartment). She turned us down flat.

I am truly at a loss here and I have no idea how to discuss this with my son or how to help my mother. My sister has essentially disowned her and my wife hates her.
 

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I'm sorry you are dealing with that. My dad used to talk to my young nieces often of suicide. He did the same of me when I was a kid. He's kind of obsessed with it I think. I no longer talk to him and he never did it. In his case it was all for attention. He spoke of it for 30 years and the few times he did attempt it he failed so bad doctors told him to stop drinking and sent him home. He's a total nutcase and none of us could ever help him which is why I gave up 13 years ago.
 

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I'm sorry you are dealing with that. My dad used to talk to my young nieces often of suicide. He did the same of me when I was a kid. He's kind of obsessed with it I think. I no longer talk to him and he never did it. In his case it was all for attention. He spoke of it for 30 years and the few times he did attempt it he failed so bad doctors told him to stop drinking and sent him home. He's a total nutcase and none of us could ever help him which is why I gave up 13 years ago.
Thank God! I worry more about what she's doing to his mind. How he processes it etc.

I think it's attention seeking or her trying to guilt me into fixing her life...without her making any of the changes which she needs to make and without dropping a hint of control of her life.
 

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This is EMOTIONAL ABUSE!! She is trying to make others responsible for her feelings....I'm so sorry....please distance yourself if you can, to protect yourself and your family....

Sorry you are so far away from them. :(
 

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maybe she has some inner feelings and doesn't know how to express them in a good way. So she uses the ways that will harm others. As someone said above, this is some sort of emotional abuse. Try to keep away from her. If you want to help her, do it by distance, such as giving her some financial help if need.
 

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First thing I would do is tell her that conversation was totally unacceptable to have with your son and cannot be repeated.

Second thing is that I'd tell her to get professional help if she really feels that way.

Third thing I'd tell her is that if she can't follow #1 and #2, you will stop contact with her. Hard, but has to be done.
 
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